[Madd Tatter]

3rd times the charm or so I'm told. Been offline for over a year and have tried to post 3 times so far and netscape shuts down.

Anyway, I see alot of names that I recognize from brain tree forums. So thought I'd post and say hi. I'll feel silly if no one remembers me. But I've missed the friends I made and the help they gave me and I hope I was a help as well.

The weather is unseasonal for here this time of year and I moved here to get away from this kind of weather. Ice everywhere. They are saying snow next week. Ugggg.

Alot has happened this past year I've been offline but I won't go into that though in this thread it would take forever and I just wanted a quick hi.

[bizi]

WEll Hello there Madd Tatter!!!!
thanks for checking in here!
I just had a pdoc appointment and it is official...I need to come down abit...been hypo for too long....
Geodon is the name of the game for me....
at least for the next month....
bizi

[DiMarie]

Hi nice to meet you, I am not sure we met before the Crash of 06 on OBT.
But nice to find you on tonight to say
I am trying to stay warm, We have 10* tonight...a 2 dog night!
Dianne

[Mari]

Hello, MT,
It is nice to see you.
Mari

[befuddled2]

Hi,

Nice to meet you.

befuddled2

[fiberowendy2000]

I am newbie to the BP board here as well. I was just dx'd about 3 months ago so I am learning from all my new friends here.
Glad to see you found people who have helped you before.

[Madd Tatter]

I'm diagnosed clinical depression, but my pdoc says he calls double depression. I'm stuck in a low mood normally but we have to keep me out of the lower one where I want to walk in front of a semi or something.

I also get anxiety or panic attacks with known and unknown triggers.

I started posting on the other forum in the bipolar section as there was no depression forum and made friends there. I also live with 2 bipolar people both with ocd and anxiety attacks.

You all were so helpful when my significant other was hallucinating and we found out it was his cough medication plus the benidril a friend gave him. I was up all night retrieving lit cigs from under the bed. Also he complained about the marching band going through our room. We won't use that combo again.

They have him on depakote and a bunch of others at the moment I can hardly keep up so I have it all written down in his wallet and my purse. It was his medication causing the pitting adema it took almost a year of his being almost double his usual weight to find that out and a bunch of tests as the pdoc wouldn't admit that the meds he was could have him retain that much fluid. We changed pdocs and the new one changed his meds and within a few weeks back to normal.

That is about the time my putor crashed and you all were trying to help me figure out which meds could cause the swelling as the ones he was on weren't supposed to. Turns out they can in some people, very few and he was one of the very few. I wish I could remember which one it was. They have tried so many. His records were conveniently lost when we changed pdocs. So were mine and my daughter's(she is adhd and also suffers from depression).

Right now we are waiting to get my other's son into the pdoc, we finally got him through intake and diagnosed with the bipolar and ocd plus anxiety, but no meds yet. Been a long process.

[Mari]

Deear Madd Tatter,
This does sound like a long process.

You are amazing becuase you spend so much time taking care of others.
Do you feel like your pdoc has got you on a good med set right now?
Mari

[Madd Tatter]

I'm on 300mg of Welbutrin, if I remember to take the second pill, which is hit and miss right now. I take ativan for the anxiety/panic attacks when needed. I'm on htcz for high blood pressure and atinilol for the same.

I wanted to try the new cymbalta as it is also for chronic pain, which I also have from a back injury and a knee injury. But I am on state help and the program I am on will only pay for Welbutrin, prozac, and celexa. I can't take the prozac or the celexa due to problems with the side effects so the other choice is Welbutrin.

It's better than the other things I was on under different programs over the years. I used to be an optimist most of the time, but with all life has dealt me it is hard to see the light and I tend to see both sides but only express the pessimest point of view as the one I see happening to me.

I sometimes wish for bipolar, I'd love a spurt of the energy I see my significant other get into. It has it's drawbacks as he cleans and super cleans the house, but we can never find and he can never remember where he put things while on a high cleaning spree. He sometimes doesn't remember doing the cleaning at all.

I was reading another thread and I can't remember if it was here or at the other forum(which for now is read only for me) but I think it was on the depression forum here that there are some bipolars that never get the high and I wonder if I am one and could use a mood stabilizer.

I've tried for disability but have been denied as I'm not as disabled as I think I am according to the last verdict. Today with the cold I can hardly move, and can't get comfortable anywhere, sitting, standing, laying down, nothing.

I want to feel good again. I was up for a bit, for me anyway, when I got my horse a few months ago. I can't wait to ride her. I know it will painful to saddle her up and get on but once in the saddle I don't hurt. And she is such a wonderful horse. Everything I ever dreamed about. Sometimes I just go out in the paddock with her and hug her neck and cry, it just seems to make everything better. It's just too cold today. I put her blanket on her yesterday before the snow hit, I couldn't do it today. I had my daughter feed her for me. I can watch her from my kitchen window. She's a black egyptian arab, 18 years old and beautiful. Bombproof too. Except for backfiring little blue trucks that come in our drive(our daughter-in-law)ha.

Why do I end up writing books for a simple answer to a question? Christmas was good too except even more people in a little house. But cozy.

[bizi]

I would love to see a picture of your horse!
bizi