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03-01-2010, 01:43 PM
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Wisest Elder Ever
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I stand before the gates of hell,
tormented, afraid and weak, fearful of my fate. How do I abandon my dreams of heaven, when there is so much foolishness and idle wasting of time. This can't be true- though I have known it all along- My time is up. And it's time to pay for my mistakes. Is this life not mine anymore? I just thought I could go along and play the game- But the day of judgement is here before me. My sins read like a book. Now that is enough! Stop this madness! I do not believe in any of this. Just turn around...it's not my time. There is so much work left to be done. I do have a life worth living. By turning around, I walk away. I walk back into my sacred life. I am safe for now.... I am sane for now....
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. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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03-02-2010, 12:29 AM
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Thank you Mari,
yes I wrote this. In our heroines journey group we are approaching a death cycle. There are mandelas of "gates of Death" and rebirth.... I kept thinking about the gates of hell and this poem just came out of my head, almost writing itself...... bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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03-02-2010, 01:04 AM
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Member
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Bizi, that really is good! It is heartfelt and that comes through very well.
I appreciate the way you connect to your creative impulses. 
__________________
My blog: I started to write so I could keep a track on my thoughts. This particular Lupus flare has turned my life on its head. Although I am pretty content with this enforced solitude, I have a constant dialogue going on within myself. So I thought I'd write it all down. . I hope you enjoy reading it when you can. |
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03-03-2010, 03:49 PM
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Just a couple of more sessions, I am very sad to think it is going to be over soon. We are getting together tomorrow night to go to the Indigo Girls concert, small venue, should be a lot of fun! Then we "die" on friday.....wonder what that will be like.
bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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03-03-2010, 04:26 PM
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Legendary
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Have a great time at the concert Beth. I bet the Indigo Girls are fun live.
 I really like their early stuff... I actually do a couple of covers from their first album - i enjoy it. Unfortunately haven't been heard more recent stuff, since i moved... they don't seem to be known here.  that is sad about the Heroine's Journey ending. i wonder if you can keep in touch with some of the women... if you want to. anyway, let us know how things go. (((HUGS))) ~ waves ~ |
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03-03-2010, 09:52 PM
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#9 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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14 months is a long time to be with a group of woman...we shall see if any thing continues, it would be nice to think that it will....
not sure....
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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| "Thanks for this!" says: | Isis (03-04-2010) |
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poem, may trigger ....sorry
Dear Beth
Linear Mode
