My hubby doesn't get it.
Even after all of these years of living with me...He can't tell when I am getting manic..I have to be the one calling my pdoc and taking extra geodon...my friends are calling to check on me and he asks why?
UGGG!!!!
so between myslef, my family that live 1000 miles away and my closest friends here (2 of them)...I rely on their input...not his.
I get really resentful about this....after 12 years...is he ever going to get it?
I try to explain that I am not well and he looks at me...I am working..I am not in bed...
He doesn't get the fact that I forget to do things follow thru due to my head in a spin.....I talk to strangers and embarress myslef....In the past I have "hit on" his best friend and his old boss..he doesn't remember this. Currently, I am having small incidents...accidently broke a glass, did not judge clearance, accidently hurt my finger slammed it in a closing suitcase, nice chunk out of that...almost getting into a car accident,...always thinking that I am forgetting something...cause I usually am...writing down apppointment times with out names...oh I hate that...impulsive...already buying bags of stuff for christmas for next year....on sale of course...I can rationalize any purchase...WE have lots of debt..hubby says ever body has debt..don't worry, ...when I hallucinated the other night and told hubby about he told me that he hallucinated one time before...he did not get that was a sign of mania( it had been 7 years since I had a hallucination)....I could go on and on....
...
~sigh

bizi

dang...i'm sorry bizi.

i'm married to a clueless guy too. mine hasn't grasped my high pain issues. he thinks exercise and diet fixes everything. ummm..nope. won't help my vertebrea from falling off eachother.

have you ever made a list of some of the most common manic behaivers you have? put them where he has to see them daily?

he just might not ever get it. not be a person who is going to helpful to you in that manner.

maybe we should switch. my hubby is quick to see and say something if he notices even the slightest change in my mood or behaiver.

nah...i like you too much bizi...don't think you would want to listen to that.

Hi Bizi,

Sorry to hear your husband does not pick up on those things. I think a lot of men just natually are not very observent. I grew up with only 2 brothers and a mom and my brothers just do not get it. My soon to be ex though would use any time i disagreed with him as a means to intimidate me into believing I was having an episode when I actually was fine.

Maybe we make trades.
Maybe he is good at some things even though he is not so good at other things.

And maybe if he noticed little things he would notice and comment on every little thing -- and who needs that!?


I tell hubby verbally. He seems to sort of understand (a bit) when I spell something out for him.
Then he wants to know "why." -- maybe so he can fix it.
I tell him there is no why. He has to take my word for it.

He does try. I give him credit for that. And I thank him for somewhat trying to understand.

Mari

It would sort of bug me that he seems to leave the worrying to you.
It seems that you would like him to take more responsibility.

Mari

it sounds as if he is really in denial and putting so much pressure on you...dont think it is fair at all. i guess he wouldn't be amenable to therapy to help learn the danger signs....
you should be so proud of yourself for your functioning on such a high level despite the "beast" and I am not talking about your husband...lol
Bobby

Bizi,
I have depression and, thanks to the meds, huge brain fog.
You seem to need to have concern about mania.

Maybe mania and its dangers are hard for non-bipolars to understand.
...whereas depression is something they can udnerstand because sometimes regular people get small tastes of it.

Most regular people don't get tastes of mania. And if they do, they don't experience it as dangerous -- leadiing ever upwards toward destruction and crashing back.....


(sorry if I am being too poetic).

I think that most people are teachable.
Maybe type up a one page sheet for him with bullets.
Or make a chart.
Or ask him to write a song.

OK.
I'm thinking aloud here. I'm going to go to bed.

I hope you find ways to make progress.
mari

I'm lucky that my wife is very understanding; but I'm pretty good at managing it most of the time. She's mostly seen me get very depressed, although there are mixed/hypo periods that are hard to differentiate... you know, are you finally pulling out of that depression or are you heading in some other direction...

I do worry about her ability to cope with me and my issues. I wish she'd find a therapist she could discuss it with because right now she has nobody to really talk to about it.

I'm not sure if I really understand it. I don't even like the word bipolar. I think I fear people thinking I'm making excuses or something; or worse thinking that I'm totally out there and undependable. I feel less of a struggle saying I have a mood disorder. I fear that most people don't understand.

I'm going through life and going through trial after trial and I'm like the Energizer bunny or a Timex. I carry the wisdom of all those experiences along wih the pain. But I feel like I'm becoming like some mysterious old sage who just knows things. Knows things about the deepest darkest caverns inside but keeps the secret and doesn't tell. I operate day to day and go to work with 1% of my soul. The rest of it lies within the maze of this illness and what it has seen me through...

I carry secrets. My life is about carrying secrets.

How could anyone understand?

I was just dx'd a few months ago so my hubby and I are still gettng used to the whole issue of BP. So we are still on a learning curve.

Some things just never change no matter how hard we try to make that happen. Some people, unfortunately, are clueless!!

Please do not be so hard on yourself...yes, be aware but don't over examine it all to the point of bringing yourself down. You are doing just great! You are a successful business woman, a lovely gal, bright, considerate, intelligent...well I could go on and on but then I'd sound like your mother.