Dear Waves,

We care about you. http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/3.gif
Here is a big hug.

http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/4.gif


M.

I love this hug for waves!
bizi

oh heck
 

thank you all for the support and the hugs-all-different-kinds.

i just typed in a long post and managed to lose it. normally i have a way of handling/preventing this but i screwed that up too. i don't need tips on avoiding that - i just wanted to let people know i did try to post and messed up. i will try again later. right now i don't have the patience, forgive me. SIGH.

i also have to go clear up more - furnace tech is coming tomorrow (yeah, we have no heat and it's COLD. :()

~ waves ~

Waves,
If it isn't one thing than it is another! I guess this is where having coping skills comes into play!;) Well we all know I do not have any at this moment,:( but hopefully you do, and a very warm blanket!:eek: Good luck with the whole no heat thing, hopefully it gets fixed right away for you. :hug:

collinsc (colleen)

sorry to hear that your uncle passed away. he's in a better place.

Waves
I'm sorry to hear that the furnace is now acting up too.

Hopeing for some heat soon. I think you have had your share of
problems.

Donna:grouphug:

feeling crazy... another passing
 

the central heating is turned off. the furnace will have to be replaced but that can't happen till later in the year. i brought a space heater up too but cannot run it while asleep. :o

but everything i posted is now just backed up in my gut. i feel awful. i had an anxiety attack earlier. i feel overwhelmed.

... the latest? we got word yesterday that a family friend from my childhood died. :( i was quite relaxed and getting into the prelude of hotel california and my dad comes and hands me the letter. i ended up singing along with in a weird strained kind of trance. we knew she was ill with cancer. but still.

so now death is dashing around in my head like a squash ball. i watch tv and fall apart at the tiniest thing. anything remotely emotional and it doesn't matter good-bad - my gut goes in knots, much chest goes in knots, my throat gets a lump.

then over dinner i was venting about the overt (ILLEGAL) age discrimination here on employment ads. i was being a bit loud - i can be very loud and so can my parents - this was a bit loud, not very. also not rude, no foul language, no attacks on anyone. just expressing indignation / anger / desperation at an external situation. they told me to stop and not to get so upset - that they would understand if i was angry with them but i wasn't so what was the deal (expressing anger inappropriate because they were NOT the targets???? :confused:) i can't even vent about simple things now.

then my mom wanted help with a condolences letter. she needed a card / stationery too which is now all strewn on my bed - she didn't use it after all. about then is when the anxiety hit - trouble breathing etc.

i wrote a separate card. i actually wrote it right off when i found out. i just did not want to risk that they might not send anything or might not let me sign theirs for some stupid reason similar to why they wouldn't let me go see my uncle when he was alive. :(

i am just bent out of shape about everything.

~ waves ~

Dear Waves,
I'm sorry about your friend from childhood.

We are more in touch with emotions than people without bipolar.
They don't understand.
Give yourself lots of patience. It's ok that all this stinks. :hug: :hug: :hug:

M.

Waves

Breath in breath out, Take some deep breaths and remember that
god only gives us what we can deal with.

Sending you some love.

Donna:grouphug:

Dear WAves,
I am sorry for your anxiety attack.
You have been under a great amount of stress his week.
I am sorry for your friend's death.
Cancer is awful.....
I wish you had some privacy...I really wish things were different for you.
Rmeember you are in a benzo withdrawl situation and that affects everything.
please don't be too hard on yourself.
((((((((HUGS)))))
bizi