[collinsc]

I went into the hospital a few Mondays ago after seeing my psych doc. I was in there for 11 days. I do not feel like much was done there to make me feel better. The docs there did 3 med changes. They took me off of one drug and put me on two more. I hope they work. This is not why I started this thread! The reason was that Friday was my first day home and I almost called my doctor and told her that I needed to go back in there. All I did that day was go and see my therapist and go to the bank. I was completely overwhelmed, and couldn't take it. When I was in the bank parking lot I had a panic attack and could barely see or breath. I took a klonopin and just sat there crying. I was finally able to get myself home. This panic attack happened with me doing hardly nothing, now today I have to go out again and do much more. I have to take my two dogs to the groomers, go to the bank again, go to walmart, go to the grocery store, go see my therapist again and then go pick the dogs back up. This does not include coming home and cleaning and making dinner. I am so scared!!! I do not want to end up back in the hospital, but if I cannot handle everyday stress then I think there is a big problem!! Yes or no? My husband is always so supportive but I really wonder what he thinks when I cannot even handle seeing my therapist and going to the bank! After Friday happened I just sat around all weekend and rested. If I have a problem today I cannot do that! I am booked up most of the week with things that need to get done. Just writing this it sounds like it is going to be too much on me. These are normal tasks that people do everyday!! Why can't I be normal and do them without incident? I hate being bipolar and not being able to deal with stress and anxiety. I thought that was why docs put you on meds to make you able to cope!! Why don't they work? I have been on most of them and they all do nothing!!!


collinsc

[Twinkletoes]

I'm so sorry, collinsc. How nice that you have a supportive husband. I hope things improve for you.

[bizi]

hi,
it sure sounds frustrating.
I am sorry tht your meds aren't working for you.
try to take one thing at a time ask for help with the errands if that is possible.
I am sorry it is so hard right now....
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[befuddled2]

Sometimes when people are in the hospital they may get to feel safe and comfortable there. Sometimes just being in the hospital makes us feel strange after getting out because once where we just come out of we felt safe and comfortable to something where there is no sense of safeness and chances of comfort are mininal. I would not worry so much about having to be able to run errands until your ready. I did not drive for almost 10 years due to anxiety and panic attacks. Now I no long have panic attacks or anxiety. It took time but it did happen. Try not to be so hard on yourself too also.

barbara

[Dmom3005]

Collins
It takes lots of patience and time to go through these things.

Work through this, give yourself time. I think your husband is
doing a great job being there for you.

Donna

[waves]

it's wednesday. how have you been holding up so far?

My pdoc told me it is not unusual to freak out after being in hospital.

I wonder if it could have to do control. In hospital we sort of acknowledge a lack of control. We hand the reins over to someone else - both whatever got left on the home front, and ourselves to the docs and assistants. They feed us, give us meds, even tell us what time to turn out the lights in some places. When we come out we have control again, of ourselves and many many other things. But then, when things feel beyond our control, it is very scary and hard, because we feel like we "should" be in control?

I wonder if it can comfort you a little to know that, whatever the explanation, many others experience reactions akin to yours.

I hope you are doing better already.

~ waves ~

[befuddled2]

I never thought about the way Waves explained it. Let us know how your doing.

barbara

[Mari]

Dear Collinsc,
Yes, as others are saying, coming home involves a recovery period -- like any kind of hospital stay.
Do you have a good therapist?
Can you spend time at home for a while being with yourself?
M.

[Dmom3005]

I have to say even just being in the ER needed a recovery period
last week for my son after his severe allergic reaction. It was
3 or 4 days before he returned to the young man I knew.

He was anxious, upset easily and just not himself. It wasn't just
me that recognized the difference. Even the aide he has had
just a short time this year knew. She just kept a close eye on
him. But let him have as much room as needed.

They also sent him to the nurse to rest because of a headache
one day.

Donna

[collinsc]

Mari
Thank you for thinking of me! I do have a therapist and he is pretty good. I do not think I would switch to any other. It doesn't seem like I have had much time by myself since I got home from the hospital, but normally I am alone for most of the day. Both my husband and my stepson work and that leaves me here with my dogs.

collinsc