Hun...

aw...

I too understand you and have been where you are several times and YOU have rescued me more than once...

So, please, like everybody has said, give yourself time to recover... be patient... it will happen... and, I would suggest a good sleep and resting time... It happens to me when I dont sleep... I literally HATE everything and everybody but, tomorrow comes you know...

If you want to cry, do it, like crazy, it will help... then, have a good sleep...

And, let me suggest you some vitamin B too

We are here for you.

thank you both, (((Donna and Blue)))

Donna,

i am afraid my mother really doesn't understand too well about my feeling out of place. she had rebuttals to most of my issues that showed she couldn't get it and finally suggested that maybe i needed meds. (pdoc strongly disagrees!) one night i was expressing frustrations about finding work and they both said i shouldn't be upset turns out they meant something different, but at the time, it didn't feel good to be told not to be upset! i believe in talking, but basically, when i open my fat mouth, i usually end up feeling worse, not better, because i get a pretty negative reception.

i used to talk to friends on the phone but i very very seldom do that any more as i have no privacy. i still IM with a few friends - better privacy, but i do miss hearing their their voices.

Blue

maybe crying would help. i don't know. lately i get close to it whenever i watch anything remotely touching on tv. yet i hardly ever do. i have cried alone too much. i don't know... it doesn't feel relieving any more - it just hurts?

you are right on about the vitamins. in fact, i usually take a supplement but i have been out for several months now: full B complex, Magnesium, Zinc, and vitamins C D and E. stuff that helps with stress, nerves and sleep! i am sleeping, but my nerves are pretty jangled! i have to pick that up again.

~ waves ~

((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

dear waves,
do you think keeping a journal would help you or know....it would symbolize your own private space....or is it too abstract and too much effort. last night i offered a girl friend that she could stay in my apartment for a while because she was going through a hard time and today i am terrified if she takes me up on it. loneliness is one thing but privacy is so important...
your mother sounds like the opposite of you. she sounds like a nice woman but feeling wise....so opposite...
love you
bobby

Hi Bizi and Bobby.

Thank you both.

Bobby,

i occasionally write. not so much journalling but that would do about as much as writing here, or corresponding with other friends (email, snailmail, IM) - which i do. i am missing physical control as well as physical privacy. a space that i can make dark or light as i wish. that i can keep messy or clean on my own requirements. where i can put a mat if i want, turn on the fan or open/shut windows when i want, sit buck nekkid if want, pick my nose if i want see what i mean?

i hope that person doesn't take you up on the moving in. remember that your home is always in your control. should she ask, you can always say something in your situation has changed it is no longer possible for you to host her.

love

~ waves ~

Oh dear waves... you know what, I cry A LOT... everytime... I always new I was very sensitive, but since I was diagnosed with fibro and allllllllllllllllll my multiple other diseases, I definetely cry more often... I have to say, it helps ! it does everytime... I mean, it's a way to.. "explode" you know...
And, if it "just" hurts, what about hugging a teddy ?? I dont want to sound stupid, but sometimes I feel my best and only friend is my teddy... Hugging it really hard with my eyes closed help a lot...

I need my vitamins urgently again too

Love ya !!!

thanks Blue, you are a sweetheart.

what i meant was that crying itself just hurts. i used to cry a lot too, and sometimes it would help a LOT. but lately that hasn't been the case.

i am sorry that you suffer with so many illnesses.

definitely get your vits as soon as you can! i think i have to wait until tuesday or thursday because i can't get to the store that has them until then.

~ waves ~

Aw waves I get you now !

Then, I will suggest.... hum... chocolate !! it cant hurt !

Oh ! yeah ! vitamins ! as soon as I get my monthly money will run to buy mine... Im a living proof of the effects of Vitamin D helping with pain ! wow...

Now I need to find something to help me with my floaters... Poor eyes of mine...

hi Blue

haha chocolate. i am trying to lose weight so i can't like pig out or anything but my parents and i do have a single square of dark chocolate almost every night. yes it is yummy isn't it. i love white chocolate too but that's even more fattening!

i don't know of a treatment for floaters. if you find one let me know - i have them too! they are usually caused by small breaks in the vitreous humor of the eye and increase with age - i started getting them when i was a kid. not to scare you but, one thing to know: if a bunch of them suddenly appear that you did not have before, you should see someone right away because it sometimes indicates a serious condition like imminent retinal detachment.

~ waves ~

hhhhhmmmmmmm ! white chocolate !!! one of my multiple weak point... LOL

Ugh, yeah, they are so annoying (floaters)... Mine are due to my thyroid problems as far as I understand... But, I have the impression that they increase when Im under terrible stress