Hi,

My friends on this board remember when I was moving last year and my hubby and I had some construction work done on the new place.

Getting through that summer was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It took me at least half a year to recover from it.

I guess I am saying that you need to do whatever you can to 1) keep yourself stable, and 2) keep yourself alive. Those are two realistic goals.

Can you move out while the work is being done and go to a hotel or get on a plane and stay with a family member? Can you go somewhere else for a few hours a day to get a break? Make a plan for yourself.

I tried not to talk to the workers in the house and let my hubby deal with them. I acted like the weird crazy wife and referred all questions and stuff to him. (Actually I didn't really have to do any ACTING! ) There was still a lot I had to attend to like keeping hubby calm, taking and making multiple phone calls, picking up sandwiches, and keeping Gatorade in the house, . . . but whenever I could I tried to limit my involvement.


In my case, getting sleep helped. What can you do to help yourself?

M.

Mari,
Your goals really touched home with me, thank you for understanding! I cannot move out but my husband has said that when the painting is done I should go to my fathers, he lives 4 hrs away! In the country were there is no stress! It has always been my run away place! While I am stuck here I am going to do my painting and the go to that coffee house I have mentioned.

The thing that has really pushed me over the edge was the way my husband dealt or is still dealing with me! It almost seems like he has forgotten I have problems or that they are not that severe! He actually said that he needs normal, meaning me, or this relationship isn't going to work out! He and my stepson have been my life for 8 yrs now, I am scared of the end and what I will do if it happens!

As far as sleep I have been getting my normal 3-5 hrs a night. That usually works for me! I have stopped working out for 2 weeks, so I am going to start that again and see if my stress level goes down! I have worked out 5-6 days a week for 4 yrs so I think the change in routine wasn't good!

Thank you!!

collinsc

Go work out asap!!!!!!
It has been a huge stress reducer for you all along.
glad that you will beable to get a way...that sounds wonderful!
bizi

I am going to restart my workout routine this morning at 5, I think it might help a little! I also wanted to that you for going out of your way to help me the other night! I just didn't know how to accept the help! Always feel like I am bothering people, for sure that night since my husband just told me I was a bother! Well to him anyway!

We have talked and he has said that he wasn't as understanding with me as he should have been, do you think! He said we should move on and get a fresh start like when we first got together, but I am wondering how I am going to get over what he said and all the hurt it caused me! The other problem is that I don't think I can go back to being the person he first got with! I have been through so much in the last 3 yrs and I have changed! I don't know maybe I can, I will try I don't want to have this end!

collinsc

Hi,
Good for you for going to work out.

Remember that your husband is under stress too with the construction going on.

Of course not. We grow and experience our lives. We are not 18 anymore.

Don't worry about any big converstaions with him or any decisions you need to make right now. Take a break and go to your father's house as soon as possible.

M.

hi Collinsc

i don't feel very useful but i just wanted to stop by and send you some good thoughts and (((HUGS)))

i am glad that you are going to work out - definitely stopping that could have made a difference; similarly starting up again will help you.

~ waves ~

Colleen,

Maybe time will help you get over what your husband said. I think that working out is a good idea. How did working out go this morning?

Hugs,
barbara

Barbara,
My workout went well and I was actually calmer not calm but there was a difference!

Colleen

A difference is good Colleen. It is a start.

barbara

Living in a home during remodeling is very stressful for anyone.

some tips & info-

[· Find a safety zone. Designate one area in the house for the clothing/toiletries you need every day. You shouldn’t have to run out to the garage to dig out your only pair of clean socks from the dresser.

· Try to carve out space that will be yours exclusively, regardless of how small it is or where it is located. If the weather is mild, a porch or sun room can provide a welcome escape. This also will provide you with a sense of control over your environment. Once the work is underway, you’ll be looking for that great escape.]
more
http://www.renovatorsplace.com/artic...renovation.cfm

Maybe if you and hubby can talk about that and find a way to reduce as much outside stress as you can for both of you...