Dear Jen,
I hope you feel better tomorrow.
M.

I do not have an eating disorder, actually am afraid of taking my meds because of the nausea that have...hate the feeling of throwing up as i am sure everyone does.

It's been a few hours since I posted that post and was able to get a hour of sleep...it took FOREVER to fall asleep, my head would not be quiet.

I kept reading what I had posted and that wasn't fair what I said or nice. I get into the dissociation and something takes over, and yes I am working with a therapist who is very good at what she does. She is helping me very much and that's why so much of this is coming out right now. I never used to say a thing to anyone. I never would have written any of these things even when I don't know any of you in real life.

Things are getting pretty heavy in therapy and am trying to come off the Nardil and then I was taking that sleeping stuff. Before I started taking it and found out it was benedryl I had a bad night one night when i took a benedryl for a cold...but that was a while ago and thought it was just because i was sick...now am wondering if i can't take benedryl...duh! I used to take it when I was sick and it worked pretty good, never made me feel like way it has.

Sundays are probably the worst day of the week for me. I have never done well on a sunday and that's probably why i was so mean in what i was writting. I watched the movie "precious" which I can't get out of my head now. I should never have watched it, but how was i supposed to know was going to get triggered like that. Oh well, hopefully will go away soon.

It's 2:45am, usually am up during this time anyways, actually i think for the past 3 months I have seen this time every day. Getting used to it, but I don't like it. So I write in my journal if I feel like it or watch t.v. or listen to mp3 player, but usually takes until 5 or 6am to go back to sleep if at all.

take care everyone, and thanks for all the advice. I am feeling a little better physically except for extreme dizziness and nausea but probably from still having some of those pills in me.
Jen

dear jen,
you are fine with what you have posted.
keep posting, writing venting.
I can;'t remember if you have ever tried a real sleeping pill before.
ambien?
It can be very effective for a lot of folks.
sometimes people take seroquel at night.
others take klonipin.
I take geodon and klonipin, I sleep fine on these meds.
I am sorry that you and so many others suffer with sleep issues.
bizi

bizi,
yes have been on all sorts of sleeping pills, and all that you have mentioned have tried. When went on Nardil (MAOI) couldn't really take anything and my pdoc would help me find anything, and so on and so on.

anyways, thanks for support,
jen

Dear Jen

i hope you are able to get a little more sleep tonight, and that you feel somewhat better tomorrow.

i don't think all this is nothing... and i would agree if it is, i'd rather get it from a doctor, but i don't want to bug you about that more.

it's ok to tell us about it even if you think it's nothing, and regardless of what you do about it.

i hope you don't mind my expressing my concerns however. i realize it is scary to think that something could be wrong - maybe easier to think it is nothing.

i should also point out that depression often makes us see ourselves as undeserving, unworthy... and then we don't want to 'burden' others with our troubles. sometimes it helps to try and throw a wrench into our perspective... say:

what if you had a child in your care, who had all the symptoms you do... how would you feel about it then?

i am sending you a smile :) and kind thoughts http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/happy/angel.gif

:hug:

~ waves ~

Sending you hugs.

I have been bugging my daughter in law about getting a new
doctor. Sorry if it seemed to rub off on you too.

Donna

Dear Jen,
I'm wondering how you are doing.

Of course you are usually sleeping during this time.
Maybe we will hear from you after you sleep.
Sleep is good.
M.

yes Jen,

how are you doing?

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~

don't really know what to say anymore.

been like i have no clue anymore like 3 days i think since have slept, i think i have slept an hour in those days, i am not sure, things aren't so good obviously.

am really just not sure what to say anymore. I have my therapy in the morning and will go and then come home and maybe be able to sleep a little.

i can't even think straight. I went to town today and was the first time i had driven in like 5 days i think and it wasn't fun, i live in like a pretty small city/town whatever, like 14,000 people, so it's not very long to get to anywhere, but things weren't right and if i moved my head too fast i would get that spinning sensation. Wasn't a fun time, plus the heat index was like 95 here with really high humidity and i don't do well in that type of heat.

So that's about all there is to report. not really exciting. thanks for your concern

jen

Dear Jen, :Heart:

I hope that the visit to the therapist is helpful. :hug:
M.