Since I am still wrestling with the idea that I maybe bp with no mania is what I am feeling right now a mixed state or normal for what I've been through today? I will tell you what happened.

I called the electric company yesterday because the whole town was without power, wanted an estimate on how long it would be out so could decide if I needed to go get the kids from school or not.

Was informed that town would be back on by noon, so no need to go get kids. But I had a disconnect notice on my account for non payment.

I had paid the bill by phone on the 16th, my bank statement showed the funds were transferred the 17th. I had a balance of $3.

I got the bank to fax the electric company my statement showing the amount and date of transferr. Was told to avoid shutoff to pay the amount again. An impossibility as we are on disability and get paid once a month and it is the end of the month and payday is not until Sat. by then new bill would be due.

Called back to make sure they had recieved statement yesterday but fax number is in TX while customer service is out of the country. Didn't show up until to day after service disconnected.

Spent all morning getting run around on why they showed by bank statement, understood that it showed they were paid but still turned off and situation was under investigation.

Waited for them to call me back(do they ever?). Called again and finally got someone that gave me the bill matrix number so they could track my payment. They had told him that I had tried to pay on the 16th from their records.

Called them, their records showed that bank had authorized the payment but had failed to transfer the funds. I called the bank and my balance was now the $3 plus the amount of my electric payment of the 16th. How convenient.

Called the electric company back, tried to reconnect service. Made the payment as requested but was told now I would have to pay not only the reconnect fee but a deposit of $400 to re-establish service.

Finally got them talked into billing me for the deposit and reconnect fee and got the service back on. I will be changing electric service as soon as I can. I had contacted another company but could not meet their deposit of $50 until Mon. So will do that on Mon.

I am wanting to cry, scream, throw things, hit something all at the same time. Plus have a very bad headache. Is this a mixed state? Or a reaction to everything?

My ativans helped some but I'm still irritable and anxiety ridden.

I am going to go eat supper, feed my horse which I didn't get done, and try to calm down. My daughter wants me to watch a tv show with her later. (She finally got her first chocolate week and she's 15 so was all in all feeling alot better until this hit.).

You certainly did everything possible. It was the situation that was in bad place, NOT YOU!

This sounds like a normal reaction to a very stressful situation.
Yes being bipolar ....We get angry, sad, frustrated, anxious and all of the other not so nice emotions...and on top of that we have to analyse whether or not this is an appropriate response...CONSTANTLY!!!!!!


sorry about that...
(((HUGS))))
bizi

No expert here, but I am the bipolar one, I think my husband would be upset (he does bills) and I think everyone would react the same, bipolar or not, when customer service sucks I think its appropriate to get aggravated, I think you took appropriate steps to calm yourself.

I get to feeling these mixed emotions sometimes and I can't seem to find a real reason for them. I try to remember what was happening at the time to help decide if something triggered that response but sometimes can find something in hind sight but sometimes cannot.

Sometimes it takes repeated episodes to trigger a hidden memory. I suffered for years being terrified of a cow if I was in the pasture or stall with one. Me on one side of a fence and it or them on the other was fine.

Finally my mom told me about an incident while touring a "farm" when I was 3 or 4. I remember the rabbits and petting those, but I don't remember the cow thing at all. I had to use the outhouse and on the way back to the group a calf came up and my mom paniced and pulled up onto a flat bed or into the back of a pickup and started screaming that the bull was going to get us.

I can now be around cows and not panic. I could control the feeling after that and now no panic or anxiety.

Same with men getting loud and angry. I finally had a memory triggered and know where the panic comes from and all the mixed emotions of wanting to hide, yell back, I can't begin to list everything that hits me, but since the triggered memory I have more control and don't feel the same amount of panic, don't feel like I am in danger etc.

I am still having problems with people I feel are in authority over me. Getting better but a long way to go on that one.

Thank you so much, when I panic like that and emotions go every which way I forget to mention other things that maybe important or related. I need someone to tell me I am feeling appropriatly. My other half does and did but somehow I needed to hear it from others.