Dear Pam,

Thanks for your words.

I've missed you.
It's good to hear you.

M.

Yes Pam it is good to see you!

~ waves ~

Good to be here.

Pam
I'm so glad to see ya.

I've missed ya.

Donna

How is it going Pammy????????
did you guys get a pool pass for the summer?
do you have a little pool at home?
how is jackie doing? Jack? you?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I'll start a new thread so as not to hijack this one.

Hi,

I told hubby that he has three new rules.

1. Next summer he has to work 50% less than he is doing this summer.

(He has been teaching more in the summer than he does the rest of the year and that has not been working very well for me.)
(He's been complaining about needing rest and then has other complaints and then becomes horrible to live with as the summer goes on. This is at least the fourth summer in a row he has been miserable to be around. Next summer will be better for both of us with his having half as much work.)

I told him to budget his money the rest of the year accordingly.


2. I get to hire the cleaning lady as often and as much as I want.


3. The next time he says ONE unkind word to me, he has to stay a night in a hotel.


This came to me in no particular order. I told him I am serious.
He has been getting to do whatever he wants and has too much rope.
Rule 1 will be the hardest for him. I will have to remind him.

I told him that I have the option to add a fourth rule.
He agreed to all of the above.
After our short talk he talked to me about what he might cook for dinner and he got up from the tv and did some house organizing.

M.

WOW!!!!
Good for you mari!
I bet it felt good to get him to cooperate and agree to your rules....expectations from him.
We will see if he honors you.
bizi

Bizi,
He likes rules guidelines and when I am strong I tell him what I need. I have not been strong for a while.

I asked him to step and and he cannot.

So I stepped up and gave him some guidelines.

My sis already told me on the phone about some problems with each of those three. For now, those three are good enough. I always have the right to modify them.

M.

Dear Mari

i like your three new rules. other spouses might not like being given rules, but your hubby seems to appreciate structure and having things defined for him. so it doesn't surprise me he signed up to that.

of course there are problems with rules and exceptions to every rule and whatnot but your rules really target problem areas, so i can't help think they will be more useful than not.

rule 3 is the one that made me wonder. not so much if he would do it, but if you would call him on it. but even if not enforced for every little thing, articulating that rule to hubby was probably useful in driving the point home as to how bad you feel when he behaves unkindly, and could make him more mindful.

i am already looking forward to next summer for you.

~ waves ~