[bizi]

Help me out please.
I have been manic and getting restabilized this past month following a too stressful period of time around the holidays this year.
Fortunately, I did not really get into too much trouble except for the fact that I took more medication than I told my pdoc.
I increased my geodon on my own when she specifically told me to call her when I got into trouble. This has happened before as well.
..... this time I was afraid that she was going to hospitalize me and felt if I could just get past this mania and be back to normal then I would be fine.
I mistakenly told my therapist this and she made me tell my pdoc...
or she was going to tell her, herself.
I was enraged at this betrayal.
Hind sight...she was just doing her job.

I faxed her a letter explaining what I had done and she was very mad at me.
so about a week later I faxed another note to her apologizing, telling her that I used bad judgement, fear of hospital etc.

When I saw my pdoc yesterday...I was really anxious to actually face her.
by this time I have figured out that she has spoken with my therapist...and we needed to talk about how we can better work as a team.
"what is it going to take for you to call me?"

By this time I am sobbing about needing her and not wanting to bother her and she is saying something about "my abandonment issues"...and I feel so pathetic and vulnerable.
I hated it.

She told me I needed to work on myself...seperate from my bipolar.
I said that you can't seperate that out..and she said you can.

So
HOW DO YOU SEPERATE yourself from your bipolar?
I am confused by this??????
bizi

[Mari]

By this time I am sobbing about needing her and not wanting to bother her and she is saying something about "my abandonment issues"...and I feel so pathetic and vulnerable.
I hated it.

She told me I needed to work on myself...seperate from my bipolar.
I said that you can't seperate that out..and she said you can.

So
HOW DO YOU SEPERATE yourself from your bipolar?
I am confused by this??????
bizi

Wow, Bizi,
Sorry about the pdoc appointment.
I guess you need her to explain further.
Or better, get the tdoc to explain since they seem to have spoken a bit.

I could take a guess.
Perhaps she means that abandonment issues can be dealt with as seperate from bipolar. A person theoretically could have those issues with or without bipolar.
And I suppose she is tying this vague "abondonment issues" stuff to your issues about not calling.

=-=-=-=-
My issues with my parents ARE unrelated to my bipolar.
I'd be working on getting over being annoyed with them with or without bp.

My issues about not being on time (ever!) are complicated but I don't think that they are related to bipolar.

My control issues..
OK. Not interesting anyway, but you get the point maybe.


Is that the kind of thing that you are talking about maybe?


Mari

[bizi]

thanks for your note Mari.
my bipolar rather "moods" effect every aspect of my life.
it effects how I interact with people at work.
am I supposed to subsitute the word moods for bipolar.
so I have to deal with my moods with medications..but the behaviors that i end up doing, consequences of my behavior..that is not my bipolar?
those are issues that I have to deal with.
does this mean that I can't use my bipolar as an excuse/explanation for my impulsive behavior?
My therapist doesn't want to talk about my bipolar label she wants to talk about my issues. My pdoc doesn't think my issues go together with the mood which she treats with meds. These are seperate....
This still doesn't make sense to me.
I guess I need to learn this new language...it seems really foreign to me.
sigh~
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Mari

My issues with my parents ARE unrelated to my bipolar.
I'd be working on getting over being annoyed with them with or without bp.

My issues about not being on time (ever!) are complicated but I don't think that they are related to bipolar.

My control issues..
OK. Not interesting anyway, but you get the point maybe


Mari

so what are your bipolar issues?
if you don't mind me asking you this...
how does being bipolar affect you?

[mymorgy]

i hate to say it but it sounds as if you need a new therapist pronto....I have been spending a lot of time at Ron's, the one with the bedsore. I find bipolar comes out a lot from my mouth. It is the truth...It is definitely one huge part of me and I can recognize the symptoms but I cannot be separate from them.
My legs make me walk and I recognize that...I think she is asking you to at times cut off your legs.
My psychiatrist lets me mess with my meds when need be. There is no censor(sp)....He doubled up my antipsychotics and once said why wasn't I on them.
I told him he was the doctor and he had taken me off of one but didn't tell me to go on another and since I am bipolar I didn't recognize that I was in trouble.
I don't think you need to go to a hospital when you get manic unless there is a self injury factor. Your post got me really mad. They don't sound like a supportive team and seem to be putting stress on you. We all know that stress can lead to the flareup of symptoms.
My bipolar is a big part of me and I now just try to look at it as a gift from the divine to draw me closer. Attie is following her nonstress program and for a couple of days didnn't even need to take her small dose of antidepressants.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this...It just isn't fair but in the short term who said life is fair.
Bobby

[Mari]

Originally Posted by bizi

so what are your bipolar issues?
if you don't mind me asking you this...
how does being bipolar affect you?

Hi,
This post is easier to answer than your first post, so I will give it a try.


Thing I consider bipolar are things related to what meds work on.
Things separate from bipolar are things that I might have anyway.

But really, this is just for the sake of argument. I don't think we can really make good distinctions. And we should not have to.

Mari

[Mari]

I agree with Bobby.

My therapist doesn't want to talk about my bipolar label she wants to talk about my issues.

This is Bull *****.
I would think that a person with bipolar needed help with bipolar more than with issues -- especially after a near manic episode like you have told us about over Christmas.

Mari

[bizi]

What triggers it?
Goodwin: Although genes are responsible for making a person vulnerable to developing it, the environment usually triggers it. The vulnerability is genetic, but the trigger is not. It may not be abnormal stress like a death in the family that triggers it. It might be normal stress.
Once a person has gone through several episodes, the disorder starts to take on a life of its own. The vulnerability for more episodes gets lower. Every time there is an episode, the brain changes chemically. It's sort of like allergies. You have tremendous exposure to a substance, and you become sensitive to it.
Often, people with undiagnosed mental disorders self-medicate. Are people with bipolar disorder likely to abuse alcohol and drugs?
Goodwin: About 30 to 50 percent of people with bipolar have a history of substance abuse. They may turn to alcohol and drugs to blunt the pain of depression.
Then, you have two problems you have to treat. You have the substance abuse and the bipolar disorder. That makes the treatment of bipolar harder.
Can people just get better on their own, without doctors?
Goodwin: If left untreated, bipolar tends to get worse. This is not something that they can get over on their own. It's inevitable that another episode is going to occur if they don't get treatment. That's one reason why we want to get the word out. Treatments have improved tremendously for this disorder. So, it's all the more unfortunate if people aren't seeking help. We think only half of people with the disorder are getting help.
Why aren't more people getting help?
Goodwin: Often, people are misdiagnosed. People tend to seek out help when they are depressed. When they are in their highs, they tend to have less insight into their behavior and think it's normal. However, families may be scared because they see patterns of behavior. Mania is often the beginning of a depressive phase.
What's the danger of misdiagnosis?
Goodwin: If the doctor assumes it's a unipolar depression, it would be treated with antidepressants, and by using antidepressants such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, you can make the mania worse. It can overshoot you into mania because there is no brake on it.
How are people treated?
Goodwin: The core of treatment is a mood stabilizer such as lithium. They can be very effective in manic episodes, but they have not been nearly as effective with depression. We had very little to treat the depression. Now, we have a very effective anticonvulsant drug called Lamictal® that was approved by the FDA recently for reducing the likelihood of future depressions in people with bipolar disorder. It is the first mood stabilizer to stabilize "from below" and therefore it gives more people reason to come out of the woodwork. People used to say, 'Why go to the doctor? All they can do for me is help with the high, which I like.' Now we have something for them.
What are the degrees of bipolar disorder?
Goodwin: There are so many variations of the disorder. Some people who have an episode in their teens may not have another for 10, 15 years. Other people may have episodes every year or every other year like clockwork. It's a spectrum disorder with many shades of gray.
Bipolar 1 is the most severe form. Almost every bipolar 1 patient goes into hypomania, which can develop into full mania. Someone with hypomania would tend to have very high energy, become more productive at work, have some trouble with overspending, but they would not reach the point of being hospitalized. How you might feel in a hypomanic phase is like hitting the lottery or winning a prize. But in hypomania, the euphoria tends to feel artificial to the patients.
Full mania is much worse and not pleasant at all - it's more than a cocaine high. When manic, people are often psychotic and are really disabled by the illness. They may need to be hospitalized against their will. They may have trouble with the police.Some people may have rapid cycling where they have four or more episodes in a given year or even within a 48-hour period. One out of every seven will be rapid cyclers.
What can families do to help?
Goodwin: Often it's up to the families to help because they have a better feel for what is going on. Insist on being involved in the treatment. A lot of misdiagnosis wouldn't happen if doctors involved families in the visits and management of the disorder.
Children, teens and adults being treated with antidepressants, particularly people being treated for depression, should be watched closely for worsening of depression and for increased suicidal thinking or behavior. Close watching may be especially important early in treatment or when the dose is changed - either increased or decreased. Bring up your concerns immediately with a doctor.

[mymorgy]

Mari
I do a lot of the same things...I am working so hard at minimizing stress...I am also reminding myself that I am getting healthier even though I hardly leave my apartment and other things.
Bobby

[bizi]

I am so happy for you...
you are sounding healthier...
this is great!
bizi