[Mari]

Hi,
I have one box with stuff related to grad school that I saved from 12 -18 years ago. Over the years I have run into this box occasionally. Each time I go through it, I find a little more to throw out.

Even though I was dx'd and fully medicated I see that I was able to write --- my cognition had not fallen to the dullness that it is now. That's a bit depressing.

On the other hand, maybe not so depressing -- apparently I was functioning & managing at that time.

If I met myself and had a conversation with my two selves (one from now and one from then), I wonder how it would go. I think that I was at the beginning of bipolar and had not succumbed to its ravishes yet.
I was still hopeful about life. I think that I am more of a mess now than I was then.

I threw a lot of things out and put everything else back in the box for next time.

M.

[Pamster]

It's hard to deal with items from our pasts, they hold memories for us and remind us of how we were once upon a time. I hope that it wasn't too painful for you to throw some things out. I don't know about the idea of talking to an earlier version of myself. I think that would be real weird because I have not been dx'd for that long, ten years is how long I've had the Bipolar II dx.

I can remember how I was back before the dx, but I really had a rough time managing things in my life. Made some bad decisions. Did some stupid things. But lived to tell the tale you know? I just wanted you to know I understand about dealing with boxes from the past. I don't do it often but when I do it rips a bit at my heart.

[Mari]

Dear Pam,

This box was not too painful because I had the sleep meds in and was going to check inside the box and then go to bed.

It's just papers. I could winnow the papers down some more and put what is left in a file in the file cabinet instead of a box. I'll get around to that someday -- I'll have to decide what to keep and what to let go.

I was lucky to get dx'd pretty quickly after onset of symptoms. I can be grateful for that.

Did some stupid things. But lived to tell the tale you know? I just wanted you to know I understand about dealing with boxes from the past.

I'm glad I'm hearing from you. You know, most of us share the same difficulties and yet we are here, as you say.
We lived to tell the tale. I like that.
We need to remind ourselves that everyday we are here is a successful day.


M.

[BlueMajo]

Aw,

Every single word in this post has been very sweet, touching and wise

Thanks Mari and Pam !

Im one of those girls that cant throw anything... My room is a mess because it is so tiny and I keep everything... every single thing, brings me memories... Sometimes I really like to have my things, but some others I really wish I could throw all this stuff away... It can be very hard for me to remember my past... I guess all of us have a "before" and an "after" and this can be veeeeerrrrrrrrry touching...

Mari, I too think Im a worse mess now... and angry all the time, and worried all the time, etc... I miss my past so much and with all the stuff I have to remind me.. But at the same time, I do think it is nice to have all that...

[waves]

Mari... you are amazing at clearing out stuff. you lightened the box... that's good.

Majo... you and i seem to be twin children-of-nostalgia.

~ waves ~

[Mari]

Originally Posted by waves

Mari... you are amazing at clearing out stuff. you lightened the box... that's good.

Majo... you and i seem to be twin children-of-nostalgia.

~ waves ~

I've run out of space a long time ago in my living quarters and in my head.

I'm prepared to ask the cleaning lady to hold the garbage bag while I dump stuff in -- I need her help for this -- can't do it on my own -- will need to call her Sat to ask her if she can do this kind of work.


Tdoc wanted me to watch Hoarders and observe the decisions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAnah0l0rqk

Clean House is way less depressing to watch with some comedy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPjqZ22rsaM&NR=1


M.