I sent my Rehab. counselor a letter outlining some things about my Goodwill teacher that made me feel uncomfortable as a student. Such things as her saying, "now I've got reports to do, don't bother me." And then covering herself by saying, "you know I'm only kidding." I had asked my Rehab. counselor in the letter that I would like my transportation to be paid for to attend my abuse support groups so in turn I could better be able to know how to deal with school and such issues like my teacher that may arise in a job. His responses are to sit down with him, the teacher, and her supervisor and discuss the complaints I have with the the teacher. I told him I did not feel comfortable doing this and his response was that was where a mediator comes in giving me the impression it would be mediated. Last night I emailed him last night saying to please go into detail explaining what I could expect and was it standard protocol to go through what he is asking me to do. For one thing, he never answered my question on whether the Dept. of Rehab. would pay for my transportation to to my abuse support groups nor if the procedure of me confronting the teacher was standard protocol. Now his his saying not to expect him to convey my feelings to Goodwill. He just keeps repeating with every email he sends me, Send the letter to the teacher and her supervisor is the 1st step.

I do not like this at all and need to get some feed back from others. I for one do not like the idea of confronting the teacher when my gut instinct asks me what good will it do me? How is it going to help me deal with her? I have already complained to her last supervisor about her yelling at me and the teacher did not even remember it but still apologized for it. She still gave me a dirty look when someone else at her lunch table asked me to sit down the week before last. And if my Rehab. counselor doesn't plan on helping me convey how I feel what will his role be? I kind of feel since the Dept. of Rehab. contracts with Goodwill for their services that there is a little bias against how I feel. I feel like asking my Rehab. counselor for an outside mediator like from another agency, that has no connection between the both Goodwill and the Dept. of Rehab. as for as contracts. And what about me asking for transportion to my abuse support groups. After all, that is where my failure to deal stems from. I mean if my teacher has me walking on egg shells how is talking to her about it going to help. None of the people are psychologists or understand the implication it has on me.

Sorry to rant.

befuddled2

This sounds like a good idea.
Communicating takes practice, practice, practice.
But i know that I can obcess about confrontations as well.
Timing is everything when learning to be assertive.
Practice the "I" statements...
I feel afraid of you when you threaten me...
I am angry that I have to walk on "egg shells" around you.
I feel sad when you put me down and then say you were "just joking"...

I wonder if you could take a public speaking class and if that could help with interpersonal relationships...???

befuddled...this sounds frustrating.
I wish it were easier for you.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Dear Befuddled,

These kind of people often have issues.
And I bet that the other folks you mention here know about her and her issues.

Do it his way. He understands how the bureaucracy works.


This is true, but some of them might have a sense of how to help people like you who are re-entering the work force.


It sounds to me if he is going to be there, that he will be there in a helpful capacity. Don't worry. He will be helping you.

Don't think of this as confrontation. It is not.
You are simply stating what is a problem for you.
You state what is not working.

And couch things in the "I" stance that Bizi mentions.
..... I feel bad when you say such and such
..... I went home upset when you did such and such the other day
..... I don't laugh when you say 'just joking because I feel hurt and it's not funny.

You can even write them out ahead of time and take them with you.

I hope you get your needs met.


Mari

Thank you Bizi and Mari.

Today is one of those days I'm having computer problems like it freezing up so I want to respond fast before I might lose it.

Come to find out, the other lady my Rehab. worker wants to meet with me and the teacher is not the teacher's supervisor but is NOW the current teacher and the old teacher whom I am having a problem with has another posistion there. I'm assuming the old teacher is now the supervisor and my Rehab. worker had no intention of me meeting with the supervisor of the one I had the problem with.

So now I plan to go back to school and just drop the whole thing.

befuddled2

Befuddled,
So now you have a new teacher? Is that right?
The old one got moved up?

Mari

Hi Mari,

Yes, I am assuming the old teacher, the one who had me walking on egg shells, has taken the job of her supervisor who had resigned. I liked the last supervisor of the old teacher too. The old supervisor of the current supervisor(I think) was the teacher when I 1st went and she was very good. However the one I have a problem with is no longer the teacher but still works for Goodwill and I assume has the next position up which is being supervisor of the teachers. Now there is a new teacher. Mind you the one I had a problem with has no formal education in MS Office or working with the disabled. She was only a Sunday school teacher. In VA where I live the services that are cut rate or free or less than top or even middle of the line. I have a big problem with this as I feel cheated. I had wanted to go to the community college but the Dept. of Rehab. does not want to do that. I had told my Rehab. counselor awhile back that I cannot make enough money to support myself off of just the training at Goodwill and wanted to go on to further my education. However he just brushed me off and said we'd talk about it when I finished Goodwill. I hate the system where I live. They expect for me to get a job and live as poor or poorer than I do without a job I suppose. Sorry to rant. I need to think about it sooner or later though.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you CAN trust the process. Maybe they really will help you after you get through this program.
Keep hope.

And maybe other programs can help you get through junior college.
Certainly the US and STATE governments have money for low income students in college. Also they likley have their own programs for students on disability.

When you get to this stage, you will be ready. You will have the information you need.

It is good to ask questions and even to get impatient. I think you are expecting good things for yourself. That is wonderful.
Keep reminding the people helping you what their jobs are. And keep reminding them that you deserve the best of their attention.




Mari

Thank you Mari,

My face had cleard up the past few days until tonight. I don't know if it's nerves or what. The old teacher that I feel like I'm walking on egg shells with I think is still training the new teacher so in a way I'll still be around her I suppose. I don't know the details yet.

befuddled