I'm grateful for so many things in my life even though there is a lot of turmoil going on in it right now. There are many things that I should be sad/angry about but I'm not going to let it ruin my day/week. Knowing that there are kind hearted people here who really understand what it is like to take a walk in the 'stigma shoes'- is truly a gift. Gift? Yes- I did say that!

Gift. In some way we have to look at the BP thing from a funny standpoint. It does help us in some ways. We all are able to view life from various different angles. Right? If you really think about it- we are lucky in that manner. Not that it wreaks havoc in our lives though- don't get me wrong (we all have days/weeks/months of pure madness/terror/depression)- but we all know that thru this illness we all have a better sense of appreciation for life of what it really is.

The sense of enjoying the sunset, warmth of the sun sitting in a chair outside in the afternoon, listening to the birds in the early morning, e-mailing those around us who 'get it' when family/friends 'just don't have a clue', cooking and making a new recipe (even if it didn't work- just doing it was a big deal!), cleaning house (it is a big deal), taking the dog for a walk (getting out of the house is a big deal), going to the store (another big deal others don't get and take forgranted- we do get; don't take forgranted).... the smallest things are trivial to others but huge to us. Which makes us all appreciate them even more.

For a long time I had agoraphobia. Still, I suffer from social anxiety issues. It is not fun. It is like a cross over illness with the BP. It sucks. I'm working on it though. How? My goal when I go out in public is to talk to the clerk at the grocery store, etc. Stupid things like that- most people don't understand. It is a big deal to me. Some of you really understand what I mean by it.

Sorry for rambling. Need to take care of the laundry/home. Doggie is getting mad at me.

Thinking of you all.

Hugs