[Dmom3005]

Seems I stepped on some toes last week when I had issues with the
assistant principal. And some things going on. I got a call from my
supervisor today. And they had gotten a letter from the guy.

It was very much bad for me. I've never been written up before.
Especially in the way I was. I have been with IN*SOURCE for
10 years.

And now I have a letter in my file that will hurt my performance review
next month. I already was concerned because my organization fell
apart. And I've been working to get it back together.


I really didn't take the letter well. But now I have to figure out how
to write a apology without taking the blame. Because I don't feel
like I did that much that I shouldn't have.

Donna

[bizi]

I wish you good luck with that letter....Maybe sleeping on it will help.
Is there someone that you can talk to about this at your organization, maybe they might have some idea for you how to proceed.
I am sorry.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Mari]

Dear Donna,
It is going to be ok.

When you write the letter, you can see things like this.

I appreciate the good work you do with your students.
Thank you for helping
We have the same goal of improving the lives of our clients.


Praise the other person for doing good work and thank him or her for working with you. Then apologize for the difficulties over the latest case.

You do not have to admit doing anything wrong.
Make the other person feel good.

You can post your letter here so we can make adjustments for you.
or send it to me in a Private Message.


=-=-=-=-
Try not to worry about it. The principal will get over it.


Mari

[Dmom3005]

Thanks for the ideas.

I wish I'd seen this before I sent it to my supervisor. I like this approach
better.

Donna

[Mari]

Dear Donna,
You do lots of good work for the community and individuals that you help.

Try not to worry about this one set back.

About a month ago I got a letter of reprimand from my boss.
I did not even read it. I am ignoring it -- probably not the best approach.

My point is that you can focus on the good that you do and the rewards you get in the other parts of your work.

It's going to be ok.

M.

[OhKay]

Great advice Bizi and Mari.

Sorry that this is happening Donna. Mari's right, you do not have to accept any blame. I hope that you were able to write a successful letter.

When you get your review, are you able to write a rebuttal under that specific section? Can you contest it? Are you able to refuse to sign off on your review if you believe it misrepresents your performance without threat of termination?

I hope everything works out well. I know it's hard not to take somethings personally.

Kay

[waves]

Dear Donna

i am really sorry this happened to you. i know these things hurt. and sometimes they just happen through misunderstanding.

i have "accidentally" or "automatically" or even "diplomatically" accepted blame in the past, and then regretted not having kept better boundaries. but you know, whatever you wrote in your letter (it sounds like that's done) is something you can re-evaluate in your head. i am sure you wrote what you felt OR what you felt was necessary. but as things settle in the mind sometimes (and we read Mari's posts ) different perspectives arise... and that is fair enough.

ALLOW YOURSELF these perspectives.

do not be ashamed of what you wrote, but at the same time,

do not be ashamed of how you acted, if you felt you were in good faith.

and really it is just a matter of a clash in approach... even where two people have the same goal.

if you encounter a similar conflict in the future, you will be better prepared for it.

meantime, chin up, you are a wonderful, WONDERFUL woman.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN, that's YOU!

((( lots of heartfelt hugs )))
~ waves ~

[Dmom3005]

Thank you to everyone.

I really feel the love. I also know that even if I say I had inappropriate
behaviour. And that was what was written. That I'm not accepting
blame for everything.

I'm just accepting in my own way blame for a slamming door. And not
making sure I was on the same page.

As it turns out the family that I worked with. Was very happy with the
outcome of the meeting. And I got the chance to send the letter they
sent me to my supervisor.

Who thanked me for sending it. Because it gives a different perspective.

I really needed to just type it. And know people understood.

Donna

[Mari]

Originally Posted by Dmom3005

As it turns out the family that I worked with. Was very happy with the
outcome of the meeting. And I got the chance to send the letter they
sent me to my supervisor.

Dear Donna,
Your families think you are great and I think that you are great!

Maybe your supervisor will get herself caught up on the good work that you are doing.

Mari

[Dmom3005]

Thanks Mari

I realize my supervisor knows my parents like me. I also know that usually
administration likes me. But its this once or so that it happens that
is so hard.

I had two very good case conference's today. I feel good about them.

Donna