[waves]

i have no energy i am sad and tired and scared.

i get plenty of sleep, it's not that.

today also deep melancholy.

my heart feels like it is made of lead and wants to sink into my stomach.

~ waves ~

[mymorgy]

that is normal...it is a big transition even though you will be the brightest person there. be gentle with yourself. you have already climbed a huge mountain.
love
bobby

[waves]

Dear Bobby

it is wayyyy past that. i am a mess. i stopped self-medicating because it got out of control and now i don't know how to settle down. i can't take more stuff than i am taking plus with being so tired i'd never be awake if i did that.

love

waves

[Brokenfriend]

Hang in there. Things have a way of working out. I understand what you are saying. BF

[bizi]

oh waves....
sweetie,
I am sorry that you are having such anxiety.
I am glad that you stopped self medicating...this is a sign of self control.
Dou you have any depokote left from before? You mentioned that a couple of days ago...I think....
I hope that you are sleeping now and were able to rest.
It is completely understandable that you are nervous about EVERYTHING!!!!
Change is hard even when it is for the good!
You have worked hard to get where you are and we are cheering you on....go waves go!
Be kind to yourself, give yourself time....don't try to be a perfectionist..
know that we love you just for being you and want you to be happy.
you can do this, you already are... one step at a time.
bizi

[Mari]

Dear Waves,
Lots of hugs.

Sometimes when I am going through something like this, the strong emotions peak and go back down. Maybe by the time you go to work on Wed you will be in good shape.

I hope that Monday goes well for you.

M.

[waves]

Dear Steve

Originally Posted by Brokenfriend

Hang in there. Things have a way of working out. I understand what you are saying. BF

thank you for understanding. i hope things sort themselves out somehow. i feel like a sitting duck.

[waves]

Dear Bizi

i stopped when i was breaking down ... parents and one friend also asked me to. this level of anxiety is probably rebound from the drinking. i am tired all the time so throwing more meds at it would wipe me out.

i also feel bad, sad, melancholy, dark, depressed, the pits, spirit in my shoes, verge of tears all the time. and the obsessive thinking that was creeping in...

last week i experimentally reduced my zoloft to 125mg. i just raised it back to 150mg. but it will take a few days for steady state and it can take longer to help with the obsessive stuff.

i see pdoc on tuesday but i don't think he will want to make med changes in current conditions. add that i'm getting a flu shot tonight. i hope it doesn't make me sick or wipe me out more.

i am so afraid i'm screwing everything up. as you say one step at a time...

~ waves ~

[waves]

Originally Posted by Mari

Dear Waves,
Lots of hugs.

Sometimes when I am going through something like this, the strong emotions peak and go back down. Maybe by the time you go to work on Wed you will be in good shape.

I hope that Monday goes well for you.

thanks Mari. good point. emotions do tend to peak out like meds ... i can hope for a trough soon....

i hope you have a good Monday too. mine has started... so far it is more of that "hanging in there" stuff...

~ waves ~

[bizi]

are you susre you want to get the flu shot right now, you may have a reaction to it....
just a thought.
bizi