Dear Mari,

I like the 2nd mantra better unless you want to "give up (your) need to have everything go right."

I'm glad the service was okay despite the pig. I like the word "pig." My mother always said it was the worst thing you can call anyone. It sounds like she deserves it.

Kay

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mari (Post 757477) I willingly release my attachment to having things go right.

Dear Kay and Bizi,
Thank you.

The mantra was hard to remember today . . whether because is it a good one that I need or because I simply have not learned it yet.

I need to write it down in more places, say it aloud when it is in front of me, and maybe put it in my phone.
I was only able to remember the release part. . . .so still working on this.

Work suxked today. I could have used the mantra.

M.

i should use that mantra too....it is a real keeper
bobby

the weekend is just around the corner this has been a long week for you it seems.
((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))
bizi

the more i think about that mantra the more i realize how much of my difficulties lie in expecting things to go well. i must be very angry because they don't and i don't have control over the situations.
bobby

Yes, Bobby,

The anger and frustration and resentment ----- all of that.

. . . . releasing the attachment to wanting things to go well is helping I think.

M.

Mari,

I think with practice, it will come to you when you need it.

:hug::hug::hug:

"willingly" is to hard to say
 

Hi,
I feel calmer about some things today.


I am changing the word "willingly" because it is too hard to say after "release" and tdoc said "release" was important. So here is the new version:


I freely release my attachment to having things go right.

Sometimes I change "go right" to something close to it.

Often, I say only "I release my attachment," figuring that the brain remembers the whole sentence so I don't have to say the whole thing every time.

M.

Dear Mari

i am glad you are feeling calmer. Do you think it is the mantra... does it help when you use it?

yesterday i used a modified version of your mantra. i also cut out extra words but kept release and attachment - i think they are important because they oppose each other semantically. so the coupling homes in on the mental work to be done... (free interpretaition from your local quacky wacky waves.)

i tried to think of other couplings too, but none came. i was not in a state of brilliance after work shall we say. nor during, i might add. i was missing beats, lots.

ok so my modified version, when i came out of work feeling... *everything* (but not good) was:

I release my attachment to feeling ok.

the trick now will be to use it often enough.

LOL. now i don't know if that is such a healthy release. but it was like, ok, life can go on without my being ok. i mean i have been not-ok long enough and the world at large doesn't seem any worse off.

~ waves ~

I found out what was bothering hubby
 

Hi,

Tonight, I realized that for the past two and half weeks Hubby has been feeling that I was blaming him for my colleague's death. Every time I cried hubby took it personally and became agitated and more isloated.
I said, "I don't blame you." I could not get that into his head.

Finally he was in a place in his head where I could use language he uses in math:
I said, "My feelings about John's death are independent from my feelings about you.

He finally got it -- after hours of talking tonight.
I am exhausted. He is relieved and is being nice again.

M.