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-   -   My son Daniel (Danny) (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/153111-son-daniel-danny.html)

BlueMajo 08-07-2011 12:24 AM

Self-hugging works !!!! :) :hug:

We defo go when it is our time and the best for us... :winky:

Annnnnnnddd..... Angels are here for us.... Just imagine having an angel that in life was your daughter.... Better impossible ! :winky:

Much love for everyone reading this and.... Let's talk to our angels tonight right ? :winky:

Mari 08-07-2011 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueMajo (Post 793386)
Much love for everyone reading this and.... Let's talk to our angels tonight right ? :winky:

Hi, All,
Angels abound.
http://bestsmileys.com/angles/14.gif http://bestsmileys.com/angles/5.gif http://bestsmileys.com/angles/3.gif http://bestsmileys.com/angles/6.gif http://bestsmileys.com/angles/4.gif


Mari

BlueMajo 08-07-2011 11:29 AM

Aw.... So cute ! i know one of my angels is called Manuel.... And could you believe the other one just told me his name the other night but I forgot it :( Hopefully he will tell me again...

Dmom3005 08-07-2011 02:55 PM

Everyone, Problems
 
Hi Everyone,

I love the talk of angels.

I have a problem I need some thoughts on. I'm not sure what is going on.

Something is up with Danny,

Last night my (daughter-in-law) Jessica, called my husband to see if he
would try getting him to find Danny something to do. I guess her words
he was bugging. (Her and Ethan) Ethan is 8 years old.

But not sure if the bugging wasn't more like this morning, and then it was
more serious than she let on.


This morning by I'd say 10am or 11am, grandson Ethan came over. They
live next door. And was saying danny was saying some mean things.

Not sure what all, he was talking to my husband. But suffice to say,
what I heard wasn't good. One was that Jessica and Ethan were moving
and he wasn't. That he was going to kill Ethan, NOt sure if it was just
him.

Or if he was in a rage and talking everyone period.


I'm at a loss as to what is up. He used to be like this at times. But not for
a long time. I realize he needs to go back for medicine. But I'm not sure
I can talk him into it. I also now that the other two need to be safe.

But I'm more worried about how this is effecting Ethan.

Husband plans to talk to him. But he really doesn't get it eitehr.
He thinks he can tell him, he cant talk to Ethan that way. And that will
do it.

Thanks for listening. We do know Danny needs something to do.:grouphug:

Donna:grouphug:

BlueCarGal 08-07-2011 04:55 PM

Donna, is there anyone who can intervene with this? It's sounding like a potentially serious situation to me. Is Danny capable of physical violence to someone--himself or someone else?

Ethan is at an age that even hearing such talk can cause serious trauma. Are you in a position to get some sort of immediate intervention? Is Jessica?

Dmom3005 08-07-2011 05:00 PM

The only reason we can't get immediate intervention is his age.

Ugh, he is an adult.

We can of course get Jessica and Ethan out of the house. We do have
another one that is empty.

But I will have to work through this.

I don't know why this happens.

He needs something to do. I think if I can get him off my couch, my
husband will get him busy.
Thats my other problem. (Two interventions needed)

Donna:grouphug:

bizi 08-07-2011 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudeLauren (Post 793597)
Donna, is there anyone who can intervene with this? It's sounding like a potentially serious situation to me. Is Danny capable of physical violence to someone--himself or someone else?

Ethan is at an age that even hearing such talk can cause serious trauma. Are you in a position to get some sort of immediate intervention? Is Jessica?

you are right jude....
Donna, you said he has been like this in the past...what has been done in the past that has helped? Is danny bipolar and not on meds?
bizi

DiMarie 08-07-2011 05:54 PM

A man to man, look him in the eye,
Let him know that he if he can not see what is going on around him, then listen. He can choose to be angry, mean controling or what ever his issue is, then it will be alone. A childhood has to be a good one and until he can decide to prioitize his son's needs, he may have to be alone.
Did Danny ever feel his dad would talk mean or harm him?

A plan of option to him:
Shape up, or ship out, move him to the other home. The little boy and mom need to be by you. The little guy needs to be where he lives, and be safe with grandparents next door.

If Danny is not happy and wants to remain not happy, he can perhaps be happier being unhappy alone.
Maybe that is what he needs for awhile. He can set up visitation with the family together to make sure Ethan feels safe. It may not be what Danny thinks he is doing to his family, but it is their perception and feelings.

Danny is going to need to work at gaining trust back from his family.

BUT also, maybe it is too easy for him to be in your other home...maybe he should have to look for housing to make him realize. I know that seems harsh but this is a crisis for that little boy....Danny needs to at least put him first.

Well, just rattling and thinking out loud. But I know Ethan and what makes HIM feel safe right now is the priority. Can you imagine that little guy going to bed at night afraid to sleep knowing his dad wants to harm him...in his eyes.

Thinking of your family Donna, there is always something new to bring us a challenge in life, why I don't know.:grouphug:
di

Dmom3005 08-07-2011 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DiMarie (Post 793623)
A man to man, look him in the eye,
Let him know that he if he can not see what is going on around him, then listen. He can choose to be angry, mean controling or what ever his issue is, then it will be alone. A childhood has to be a good one and until he can decide to prioitize his son's needs, he may have to be alone.
Did Danny ever feel his dad would talk mean or harm him?

A plan of option to him:
Shape up, or ship out, move him to the other home. The little boy and mom need to be by you. The little guy needs to be where he lives, and be safe with grandparents next door.

If Danny is not happy and wants to remain not happy, he can perhaps be happier being unhappy alone.
Maybe that is what he needs for awhile. He can set up visitation with the family together to make sure Ethan feels safe. It may not be what Danny thinks he is doing to his family, but it is their perception and feelings.

Danny is going to need to work at gaining trust back from his family.

BUT also, maybe it is too easy for him to be in your other home...maybe he should have to look for housing to make him realize. I know that seems harsh but this is a crisis for that little boy....Danny needs to at least put him first.

Well, just rattling and thinking out loud. But I know Ethan and what makes HIM feel safe right now is the priority. Can you imagine that little guy going to bed at night afraid to sleep knowing his dad wants to harm him...in his eyes.

Thinking of your family Donna, there is always something new to bring us a challenge in life, why I don't know.:grouphug:
di



Right Di,

I honestly can't tell you if he thought my husband was mean to him. I do know he thought I was mean to him. When I sent him to Gibault school for boys. The other house, technically would be better in the end for Jessica
and Ethan probably to move to. Only because her dad is buying this house
for her. Or is supposed to be.

Its the house that she has wanted for a while now.

Not sure what is going on. I think we will see. Jessica and Ethan have
gone somewhere for a while. Guessing either out to her mom's house
or to her sisters to visit.

But my husband is supposed to be getting together with Danny.

I will push him into this soon. I have Will tonight. Or I'd go do it myself.

But it will happen. One way or another.

Donna:grouphug:

Dmom3005 08-07-2011 06:12 PM

:grouphug:Now just to get my husband off the couch, but its still early.

its very hot around here So it needs to cool off I would
guess.

Donna:grouphug:


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