Oh Bobby you crack me up!!!

love

~ waves ~

Oh, waves, you are digging deep and asking hard questions. Lots of levels (& valleys) to this stuff.

Behaviour-based therapy I know, that's what I studied decades ago & I didn't much like it then. Pavlov never saw a big picture. Some of those guys had a handle on patterns tho. I used to work with a Jungian therapist & think it worked for me. There are Jungian groups around that study various aspects & when I was able to work both with one of those & my therapist, I think I made more progress than with therapy alone. I'm one of those people who ran out of school long before I ran out of questions ; so when I find someone like that, we pursue some common interest. It sounds as if you might have worked with some such groups.

Do you know Jung's work? It focuses on a person's inner world. Dream work figures in, & of course feelings. The big picture. Goals.

One of the things you said that hit me hardest was that you didn't think your therapy was particularly therapeutic. Maybe the therapy has become a social occasion? If it's not therapeutic, sounds like you need to get therapy. If you want to continue with your tdoc, fine, just don't call it therapy. Is that too harsh or outright mean? I hope not. From what you said, it seems logical.

Mari has good ideas. I'm curious what you think of those.

As for stress tolerance, my "I'll go to work for 30 mins" trick I learned from a behaviourist I studied with for a while. I was able to tolerate a few minutes of a very narrow narrow range of people/events/activities but did learn slowly to expand those into a longer period that allowed me to have more "normal" experiences. I have to make the right choices for it to work. I have to be able to. Meds & general health figure big there.

God it's complicated.

I still work with the group but the doc left the area. Can't afford the other Jungians. Tried several nonJ tdocs but couldn't say they helped at all. Need help.

Keep the faith ~waves~ -- faith in the journey, faith in finally asking the right question...which is inevitable if you just keep asking!

My psych prof used to say that she got her degree so as to latch onto a best friend who would make ever needing a therapist unnecessary. Sounds a little crazy for a psychologist maybe. I've had TWO grand friends in this life! Don't guess there's much better. Hmm... Only one grand therapist.
One of the friend's still here!
& I've found y'all

Dear Waves,


I understand you here . . . . .Despite all the zillion coping skills and ways of dealing with the problem of the teasing (for example), your feelings are evoked and you want these feelings worked out in therapy.

In 2011, most therapists can deal with the feelings issue whether or not they are CBT or DBT. Many therapists can use mixed orientations / frames.


My first psychologist in the late 80s was a CBT guy, but he was only months out of school when I met him. By the end of our first or second year together, his method had morphed and continued to morph as we worked with each other and as he grew as a therapist.

M.

Dear JudeLauren,

That is one creepy psych prof Yuck.

The Jung stuff could be very helpful to deal with feelings. I wish I had a chance to do something like that.
I had a friend who was a social worker. She liked a Gestalt therapist she had. At that particular time in her life, she liked the Gestalt stuff.

M.

I really miss having what I would call real friends. Someone to do something
with.

I hate to admit it. But the only real friends I have are people I work with,
or my family. So when I lose them by they quit working with me.
Or they aren't part of my family anymore. Then I'm at a lose.

I have always had this problem. So its so hard for me.

Thats one reason I enjoy this place so much, and sometimes wish we
were closer together. To get together once in a while.

But then maybe I still wouldn't have friends. its always been this way it
seems.

Donna

Having friends takes time, & so much of your time has been spent dealing with kids, hasn't it, Donna? That's what I've heard from moms, that they miss adult friends. I think maybe that's why so many work, to "have it all." I'm not sure we can.
Maybe friends have to be a priority, chosen over something else.
So how to get friends...
I'm impossibly shy. I am sometimes able to see shyness in another & try to connect with that. Maybe there is someone in your neighborhood you have something in common with?
Life is so hard.
This is a great place, huh?--wish you could drop by for a virtual bar-b-que!
Ive got 1 good friend, a few good acquaintances. They help.
You're a really good woman.