[BlueMajo]

I havent been fine...

Doc put me back on prozac because I was crying all day again... I have been very stressed...

15 days ago my dog passed away... that means I dont have more pets to take care of... no more little creatures to move their tails when I arrive... saaaaaad days...
I miss her so much.

My computer fell down horribly and I thought I was going to loose everything... it would not run windows.... I had to pay a fortune to get my photos rescued... I was so stressed...

I have swollen lymph nodes which scared me a lot... but today Im feeling sick, so, maybe it was the reason...

My neck is stiff...

Well, you know, it is one of those life stages when you dont even know what to do or where to look at ? like, everything is a mess, a problem and wrong... Argh...

Thank you for reading.

[Dmom3005]

Blue Mayo

Take care of yourself. We are here for you. When and if you are
ready there are lots of animals that want and need new love.

I can totally understand the need.

We lovee you
Donna

[DiMarie]

Oh Blue, I am so sad to read about your furry friend, that is so sad to say goodbye. Maybe one day you will feel that you can have a home for another.

Maybe a week or so the Prozac will help and I hope you can be happier for a change. Just wish there were something to say more to be helpful. I love you dear friend.

We are here for you and tons of hugs coming.
di

[BlueMajo]

Dear Donna and dear Di, thank you so much for the love. I'm feeling particularly lonely tonight... If only God could help me... I know He is listening, I just don't understand why He can't help me with forming a family ? Now that I don't have my dog, I feel even more lonely...

I don't know if the prozac is helping or not... It makes me sleepy, that's all at this point...

I was dreaming I had a lovely husband, and that we lived in a tiny house with a cute dog...

Dreams... Just that... Reality is that I don't even have a bf, I just have work to do... Exams... Illness... Stress...

Can't sleep now ! Awesome... Throat is so sore that hurts like satan and can't sleep

Love you.

[mymorgy]

i am so sorry you are going through such a horrible time. the loss of your beloved dog is so painful. it took me years to get over the loss. i regret now i didn't immediately get a new puppy to help with the grief.
take care
bobby

[BlueMajo]

Thank you Bobby.

I had her since I was 15... I'm 28 now... So she saw me grow... We used to play and even fight the first years but recently, on my dark days I could just think "I have my dog, she needs me, I need her", and now she is gonne... I'm very confused... I'm in the process of deciding wether I want a new dog or not... Somedays I do, but later on I say no...

I will never understand why usually in life things come all together at the same time ???

[bizi]

oh blue, I am sorry that you lost your fur baby. you had her longer than we had our cat who resently we buried her in our back yard. I think you are isolated and are feeling sad, lonely and a new puppy or even an adult dog would be good for you. help relieve some of your lonliness feelings.
sorry you are sick, allergies? or sinus sounds like...I am getting better coughing at night keeps hubby up at least he is off this week for spring break.
hugs to you my dear friend
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Dmom3005]

Blue

I can totally understand not knowing whether you want another dog or not.

But I think i would consider it another way. Can you take in another dog that needs a home, with a loving friend. I think thats what you need to consider.

We had or have a cat. I can't honestly say at this point which it is.
She has been missing or not seen since sometime Sunday. Its really bothering
me. We have 3 dogs also.

But the cat had become really close to all of us. My son, its hard to explain.
Had become friendly to the terms, he goes out and buys it special treats.
And he just jingles it and she comes running. But the neatest part was she
came running for the dog treats too. And she loved dog food, as much as
cat food. WHich was good, because our dogs would eat either also.

But one of the dogs, she is mine. Is having trouble a seeming allergy to
cat foods. So we mainly have dog foods.

But I really miss the kitty. She was sleeping at the top of the couch
with me. And would put her paw down to maybe comfort me. Not sure
what.

Donna

[BlueMajo]

Im so sad that my brain is not functioning properly...

you know what, she was old, but she was perfectly fine at least apparently... and, it makes me so sad that when I went to LA I suddenly woke up and thought about her... I asked my mom how my dog was and she was fine... everything normal... I came back to Mexico on friday night and that sunday, at night, she passed away... she started vomiting and stuff on saturday and the vet said it was gastritis (sp ?) and gave her meds... she just worsen... I dont know... Im sad and at the same time "worried" if that makes sense that I felt something weird days before... like, life or God or whatever were letting me know what was coming... it has happened to me before... so now Im scared everytime I feel "weird" because I think something bad is coming ???

Also, Im feeling crap because for one year I was meds free... and thought that I could handle my life even whith some very dark days... and nothing, im pretty bad again... crying all day, feeling sad and blue 100% of the time... wondering if life is worth it and, wondering why should i survive and how will i do it...

I hate to wake up in the mornings... i dont have anything or anybody to fight or live for... everything I can think is, what for ? why for ??

I dont want to go out, I dont want to listen to music, I dont want to study... and 2 weeks ago I was fine, just started to struggle... and then the dog, and then the computer, and then all my friends having fun with their boyfriends and me ? always alone... Im tired of this life...

[bizi]

blue,
you sound so depressed, wish I could give you a big hug
((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
hoping that the prozac kicks in real soon for you.
hey it is ok to be on meds thankfully they are there for when we need them.
hang in there blue, we need you here.
you are family to us so come and vent anytime , we are here to listen and support you.
love you
bizi