NeuroTalk Support Groups - Exercise "program" .... I am trying to dance at home

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- - Exercise "program" .... I am trying to dance at home (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/156768-exercise-program-am-trying-dance-home.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by waves (Post 806393)

... too deeply decisional ... i can say supportive/sounding board and availability off the bat are probably at the top right now. meds not right now because i don't feel fearful or lost in a pre-paranoid sense or have any other "weird" stuff going on. maybe some omens but... ok, i better not go there. i don't know.

Waves, :hug: :hug: :hug:

I didn't mean to give you decision work. I was trying to put the pdoc's skills/ non skills into a priority.

My summary is that you find the
supportive / sounding board / availability more important than the other things like prescribing skills and CBT-type skills.

Quote:

Originally Posted by waves (Post 806393)

. you can go to any clinic that is state-conventioned. there aren't any nearby, only the main state psych clinic. but i will say their pdoc who renewed my exemption last time was very kindly...........unlike the nurse who screened me.... "you're bipolar but you have 2 degrees??? [diffident tone] how did you manage that??? answer: ... "the second one only after expulsion, readmission, many Fs and retakes?" grr. idiot.

Somehow I had not pictured a big main state psych clinic that requires travel. People on medicare here (our version of state care) usually go to local clinics. They often have a degree of choice of pdocs but not always. Partly that is because the clinics might be in small towns that have shortages of pdocs.

Quote:

pdoc... i guess i've trained him to the extent that is possible.... sigh.

I hear you. You are not expecting any progress from the two of you together. I haven't trained my current pdoc, but we do fine. I feel that he is comfortable with me / trusts me . . . We are used to each other. We've probably been together about eight years now. I hope he keeps working. He's not a youngster.

Bizi and Waves,

I looked up Jamison. She was diagnosed after she graduated and was teaching.

http://www.bphope.com/Item.aspx?id=482

Quote:

In 1974, a colleague she had been dating diagnosed her as manic-depressive. The diagnosis came shortly after she joined the UCLA faculty as an assistant professor of psychiatry.

At the time, Jamison was in the middle of a major manic episode. She worked tremendous hours and did not sleep; she couldn’t follow the path of her own thoughts. She engaged in profligate overspending, for example, scooping up 20 books published by Penguin because she thought it would be nice if the penguins would form a colony. She bought expensive jewelry, provocative clothing, and a dozen snakebite kits because she had information direct from God that an infestation of rattlesnakes was imminent.

When Jamison was prescribed lithium, it had only recently been approved for use in mania. The standard medical practice then was to maintain patients at considerably higher blood levels of lithium than is prescribed nowadays. As a result, Jamison had terrible side effects from the drug—severe nausea and vomiting, and slurred speech that at times made her appear drunk and threw off her coordination. Mentally, she had impaired concentration and memory and an almost complete breakdown in her ability to read—devastating to one whose life revolved around ideas and research. In order to understand anything, Jamison had to read the same line repeatedly and to take copious notes. For an entire decade, she didn’t read a serious book of fiction or nonfiction.

Waves,

This post confirms your decision to consider changing career paths.

Quote:

Originally Posted by waves (Post 806408)

mine was a "practical decision"... not something i loved, something i thought could get me a day-job i could tolerate. but i did not even want to be in school any more at that point. practicality kinda falls apart when all you want to do is party or you are so depressed you hardly do anything at all besides contemplate death in so many ways.

You can move on now to something more suitable, maybe even fulfilling.

M

can't believe that was 1974....wow

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi (Post 806727)

can't believe that was 1974....wow

Bizi,

Wikipedia says that Jamison was born in 1946. She was 28 years old in 1974 and 65 now.

M

sorry!!! clarifications!

Dear Mari

i see that my post was confusing in some areas. i apologize! :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mari (Post 806667)

My summary is that you find the
supportive / sounding board / availability more important than the other things like prescribing skills and CBT-type skills.

at the moment. because i feel like doodoo. long term i want someone who can help me learn how to mitigate and even prevent these states. i have done some work on my own but some pro input couldn't possibly hurt. to this end i need a tdoc with different orientation i think. CBT is very thinky therapy and i am not particularly looking for that either at this point. i am thinky enough as it is and if you yank on my thoughts... it can be the never ending story. i want someone like the T i had in California who worked with feelings through various channels, without trying to "translate" everything into a thought process. don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Quote:

i apologize. my post was entirely misleading in this regard because i said the state clinic was "far away" - it is less far away than pdoc actually. also there is not just one for the entire state... it is the one considered "local" for my area, even though it is in a nearby town. technically you can go to any one, even non-local but i don't know if you get to choose a doc any more (used to), or whether, after the first visit, they keep you with the same psychiatrist and psychologist (i believe you necessarily see both).

my mention of seeing my currrent pdoc at a state-conventioned private clinic (distinct from a state clinic, but offering state-covered pdoc services) may also have been confusing. i lived in another town. that is how i met my pdoc. that is too far away and i now see him at his private practice as a TDOC.

thank you for listening and trying to help me sort through things.

~ waves ~

Dear Bizi and Mari

i was diagnosed long after college, and about 10 years into my "career."

prior to that, i knew what bipolar was only vaguely. i never related it to myself until i read several descriptions of episodes in jamison's books and had close-to-flashbacks of things that had happened to me. then i remembered the earlier and even weirder stuff and thought, uh-oh.

thank you both for your continued support. (((hugs)))

~ waves ~

well, to get back on topic, fwiw.

the dancing isn't going to work.

i'm not doing it.

it's that simple.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))
bizi

thanks Bizi.

i needed that especially tonight.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BACKATCHA))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))

waves

Waves,

Hugs. :hug: :hug: :hug:

We're here.

M