Hi, Marie. Thanks for the reply. The trazodone is what worries me- because it just says "1 or 2 pills as needed." Does that mean that apparently I take it often enough that now I "need" it every night? It isn't that I take my meds "willy-nilly". Its just that I forget sometimes. SOMEtimes. I'm pretty good about it, actually.

I guess I will call the dr. tomorrow again. I asked BF tonight what he thought I should do- if I should consider it a brain malfunction because of the meds or what. He said he didn't know anything about meds, but that he thinks I need to fix what needs fixed in my life- meaning I need my own place and a good-paying job. The thing is, this is a depressed episode I guess. Mostly, I am just fine. I am happy with my job, and the people in it. I feel productive with creative endevors.... It just doesn't add up to enough money to live on my own. And at 35 I really need to do that. He did point out that I've been in a bad marriage, divorced, and then living with my irking mother.... (I'm sitting there listening thinking "Wow. He knows more about me than I thought-- or rather, than he's ever said in one sitting!") He also said the baseline of your brain gets set to "depressed" and it needs to be reset by more happy events. I think it gets practiced chemically to "go there". Why it is still able to "go there" when I'm on meds to physically make it NOT go there, I don't know. I for sure, have not missed my celexa lately. Gosh- my breasts are making colostrum again- and they said that's from the celexa!

Anyway, he is going through changes in his life too and is realizing that he/we just watch tv every night after work (I go over to his place several nights a week), none of this work will get done.

Off to take meds. I haven't visited this board in ages. I think I'll go poke around for a few....

You are doing well with this added stress.
Things do work out and you will get back on your feet. Don't be too hard on yourslef...you have been thru the wringer and have a lot on your plate and are only 35.
So please be kind to yourself and post write vent what ever and when ever you need to cause that is why we are here.
((((HUGS))))
bizi:grouphug:

Hi, Nathan,
"As needed" usually means that you don't take it everyday -- you take it when you need it. If you do take it everyday, you start to get used to it.
You do need to talk to the pdoc about this. Find out what he/she thinks "as needed" means.

As for your other meds, how often do you skip? Is it like once a week you miss your morning dose?

It's best to take them at the same time. Like the morning meds are always at 9:00am and the night meds are always at 8:00pm -- or whatever time you and your pdoc work out.

Night meds does not mean any time when it is night.
Does this make sense?
I know you know this already. I'm chiming in here because I think that getting a good schedule might help you feel better. It also might help you feel more in control.

Good luck on your road to wellness to to talking things out with the boyfriend. :)
M.

I take trazadone for sleep, it does make me dream and helps me sleep, but I don't have any side effects in the morning.

I don't take depokate so I don't know about that one.

I would call your p-doc ASAP.

Feel better, Take Care, Nikko:hug: