[befuddled2]

Hi all,

My younger brother in town hasn't returned my calls from his cell phone all week so I called their LAN line and his wife answered. We got to talking and it came up how I've been needing a colonoscopy for about a year but haven't had anyone to take me. She not once did say her husband who is my brother could take me on one of his days off during the week. That is just how my family is and everyone else I know in 3-D. They don't mind me doing for them but they don't want to so much as help me out when I've had diarrhea for over a year and living on Imodium because of the fact I don't have anyone to take me to colonsopy. The subject came up when I told my sister-in-law that now that I have some one to take me the doctor won't do it on count of the insurance kicking back all claims. I don't even dare ask my sister in law for them to take me because she stood me up 3 times last year and didn't even call me at all. They just don't give a hoot.



Life sucks.

befuddled2

[Mari]

Dear Befuddled,
Eventually, as you build a new life for yourself in the world, you will find new friends and family.

These people that you are talking about seem damaged in someway. I'm sorry that they are un caring.

I hope that your insurance gets worked out soon.
Mari

[befuddled2]

Thank you Mari,

I've been up all night with diarrhea. I was too upset to make sense when I
1st posted. I meant to say now that I won't be able to have the colonoscopy done when my ride can take me, I'll also lose my ride because they won't be able to take me after that week.

befuddled2

[Mari]

Dear Befuddled,
You made sense.
I understood what you said.
I'm sorry I can't give you more help through my words.
M.

[Nikko]

Dear BF - I am so sorry you have to deal with this situation. I wish I had some way to make you smile.

I wish your family would help you too.

Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs, Nikko

[bizi]

this really does suck when your family is so selfish.
Do you have a neighbor to take you if you paid them?
are there other public transportation options available to you...red cross or handi capped bus? Could you rent a car for the day...do you drive?
The woman you talked to today...you could not ask her point blank if she could take you? or is that the woman who stood you up?
all sounds so terrible for you and unsupportive.
bizi

[moose53]

((((((Bee)))))),

Life doesn't suck. It's the inconsiderate people that you run into that make it seem so.

I don't have that many relatives close to me. My son's in prison. And I don't really talk with my Brother any more.

I've run into the same thing as you -- sometimes the doctors won't do certain procedures unless you're accompanied. I actually paid a cab driver to accompany me once. She was nice and she was helpful. And she got a nice tip.

I use The Ride (which is the paratransit service here). The doctors used to not accept that as "being accompanied". But, I've explained that these people are trained and certified. It's not like picking up a cab on the street corner and maybe getting mugged because you're too unstable from the medications. The doctors have finally started accepted that as "being accompanied".

I'm lucky now that there's a woman who lives in the next town over from me. She's actually started a little business. She'll run errands and accompany you to doctor's appointments. She actually didn't charge me for the waiting time at the doctor's -- which I thought was absolutely "angelic".

Some other things to think about that might help you: sometimes senior centers have volunteers that will accompany you to doctors appointments. Post an ad on www.craigslist.org. Ask at the local high school and see if there's a senior (especially one that might be planning to go into a medical field) -- they could probably use a little extra money.

Now, as for the ship-head Brother of yours -- if he won't return cellphone calls, send him a text message.

Bee, DO NOT -- I repeat -- DO NOT put off getting a colonoscopy because of logistics.

Ask a local priest or rabbi to recommend someone. Ask the bagger at the grocery "you want to make $10??". When you get to the hospital, call a cab and ask them to sit in the waiting room with you until you're ready to leave. Then have them take you home. There's tons of ways to get around this.

The very first thing that I would do, though, is send that ship-head brother of yours an email and say "Even though we don't get along, sometimes I NEED you. Are you going to be there for me or not??"

Honey, you must have learned after coming through whole through a bad marriage that you can't assume anything about anyone. You have to have honest communications with everyone that's in your life. Tell your Brother, you need him. Then if he's still not there for you, you can evict him from your life.

And PLEASE-PLEASE do not put off that colonoscopy any longer.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

[befuddled2]

Thank you Nanc, Bizi, and Barb.

Barb, that is great advice and I hope to work on it tomorrow. Thank you.

befuddled2