I can relate to what you said on the top post. I have had panic disorder,and OCD for most of my life. Resently they have added skitzo effective disorder. It's been a long,difficult road,with so much misunderstanding from the people around me.

It comes in waves,then tidal waves. I feal better,then worse. I go into what I call an eclipse where everything seems hopeless. Then later on I'll feel better,or the last condition fades away over time. It's hard to explain. I could go on,and on.

You are at the right place here in the Bipolar forum of neurotalk.

I have tried to get off of my medication,but in the long run things where not going well. I'm on three different types of medications now,and it helps. I don't know why not being medicated didn't help.

We have to be patient with other people who don't understand,and when I say that,they really don't have a clue,nor can they imagine. We also need to be patient with ourselves. We didn't ask for this,nor did we want it. Please be patient. BF

I agree with Bizi... i think your family is in denial... they'd love it if you didn't have these problems... so they pretend that "just keeping busy" will fix it...

keeping busy fixes boredom and a few other things but these things are well beyond.

take heart, and give therapy a shot. i'd say maybe a therapist first if you are more afraid of the meds, although i think you will probably need meds also. often therapists are more available - and can help you find a good psychiatrist and perhaps refer you so you get in sooner.

good luck and keep us posted. (((hugs)))

~ waves ~

BrokenFriend and waves, Hope you are doing well. I am realizing it now that this is a tough battle and I should be looking at meds instead of avoiding them to control my anxiety and maybe keep reality in check. You are right about being patient with others since they actually dont know. i know I had no clue about what people with bipolar or other problems go through before I had the first major episode 4 years ago. I could see my self so many times being unknowingly insensitive to others that now i know might have had these anxieties. This is one of the reasons i find it so hard to communicate with people because i dont know if they might take me wrong . This forum is definitely helping me with communication and understanding this.

People mean well,but they can't diagnos this condition. Family,and friends need to except you how you are. When it's like this,it's not weekness,it's a serious condition,or many conditions combined. It's like finding your way out of a maze.

I would recommend for you to go to a councillor. You mentioned Faith in your first post. Hold on to it. I have.

I take seroquel,Luvox,and Xanax. I have tryed to live without medications,and have had mixed reactions. When it came to the point where I had anxiety pain in my chest,my councillor put me back on medication.

I also have a social phobia,and I sit in the back row of the crowd. It's a tormenting condition to have.

I use to think that I was the only one in the world like this.

Because of the old stigma that this was a shameful thing,I didn't talk about it. Some people may be able to snap out of it. I couldn't.

My condition was much worse then a surface condition. It became very complex,and I became very troubled,and lost my vision of my future.
Brokenfriend

I understand,and hope that you find help,and answers that can help you in your life. Your life is important,and I hope that you find a good councillor. I've had councillors hurt me,and some have helped me.

Right now I'm being helped. Brokenfriend

Hi, Skeptic,

Even the professional psychiatrists and therapists don't truly understand. . . . but at least they have been to school to study how best to help us and have learned through observations.

I trust advice from my health care team and that is it. No one else gets any input in my mental health care.

It's good to see that you feeling that you are opening up here.

M

Bizi, waves and bluemjao, i understand your point of view about not mentioning it to my family and you are right. There is another reason i feel uncomfortable talking to my family about the meds , it is that I think they are also bipolar , and they are fighting it off in their way and i dont want to influnce them , if that makes any sort of sense. I guess I am pretty messed up, i actually think that everyone is bipolar. I havent seen them take meds or therapists instead I see them talk openly and say whats on their mind right away. Maybe I have started to relate people being open and happy and angry to being bipolar. I have difficulty with that as i really worry about what is on my mind is not what others want to hear and making others uncomfortable or come out as being a jerk, so i keep quiet and keep in all my emotions. i think that makes a lot of people uncomfortable around me. I have mostly lived alone after my divorce in 2005, had quite a few girlfriends till before my diagnosis, but never let anyone too close so its one of the hardest thing for me to communicate verbally specially when i think the person i m talking to is also bipolar.

Well, it makes totally sense and I dont think that is something you shiuld worry about... At least now....

First, treat your own bipolarity, your own fears and provlems and then, you can help others if they want to be helped and if they havent found help for theirselves....

I understand. It seems like there are alot of bullie types out there. They seem to be sadistic,and will be on the attack. It seems to be their nature.

Some are immature,and could care less. Some people will try to throw head trips,and talk about us behind our backs.

Thank goodness for Good Samaritans along the roads of life. Brokenfriend

but thats the thing, one of my big fears is maybe the fear of offendig others or having hostility from others, even though I realize now that i actually dont have many relationships left and my experiences in the last 4 years have kind of enforced the feeling that no one wants to listen to me and most people infact do react a bit hostile or comeup with a oneliner putdown right off the bat . Thats one reason I dont go out much anymore .