Hi Waves I understand what you are saying. I feel so many of the same feelings. Fear,false guilt,and fear of total failure are a hard combination. Strange dreams are difficult to shake off. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Waves

((((HUGS))))

I would promise to never use the statement. But I hate to say then it
would happen. Because I have a issue of my own called memory loss.

And I forget things like that.

So please if I make the statement, ignore it. Or ask me. Because it
means nothing more than it states. And I am not trying to cause you
anxiety. I just don't have any memory.

So just so you know. If I make the mistake and say it. Its because I
forgot.

Donna

Ps. Love ya.:grouphug::hug:

Hi waves
 

I now understand what conditions you are living under. I am somewhat surprised that you couldn't use the exta room, to get some peace and quiet. It is not like they would be in there every minute. Do they not give you any options at all? There are also sound reducing head sets, that muffle all sound really well. I so hope you can get to a place where you can dive into a book and tune it all out. I think I would go nuts too if I had to listen to loud TV and the news all day. that would make anyone a wreck. Is this your family? I really am trying to figure out something that would allow you to have quiet and settle your heart and soul. Would you let me know a little more about the situation you are in? There has to be a solution for you to have more peace in your life, I am thinking.....ginnie

Dear Waves, http://bestsmileys.com/love1/1.gif

I hope that you are doing ok today.

M

Hi waves
 

I did look up zoloft today. It should not make you anxious. It doesn't mention that as a horrible side effect or anything like that. I take that medication. In time it helps me to calm down. I too am glad your dad is looking into something that can help you relax. I hope your mom will open her heart and realize how serious the anxiety attacks can be. You do need that peace of mind where you can shut out those things that upset you. My real release is a book. I go away someplace, anyplace except where I am at. I loose myself in some adventure and all stress melts away. I never read before I got sick. I did that on the spur of the moment, and I found out my tears dried up while I was reading the book. Since that time I have used reading as a great escape. When I am upselt, I do have my own room which I hide in, and dive into what ever my current read is. I hope that can happen for you. Maybe your folks could adjust to your needs in this one thing for your to have more peace. I'd hide in a closet if I had to! I am still thinking, someone mentioned tichi, or yoga. That was a wonderful idea too. I have been told to do yoga also by friends, but I don't like going in public to do it. I'm not all that hep on large crowds these days. My thoughts and prayers are with you waves. I so hope that your mind and heart can rest a bit. ginnie

re: calling each other on "beating ourselves up"
 

Hi.

thank you again everyone. you are all wonderful. i appreciate your understanding, and trying to understand and trying to help. :grouphug:

ok so a few things. i've been thinking.

EVERYONE

i have thought. and memory issues aside, i don't even want us to try to shapeshift our interactions around some twisted stuff that happened to me. it hit me hard partly due to the twistedness, partly because it was from left field, but i think especially, because i was extremely depressed and therefore extremely vulnerable at the time.

the vulnerability was mine.
the depression was mine.
and the developed hypersensitivity is, of course, mine.

and now, *I* need to reprocess how i hear this. if i never hear it, i can't reprocess it. so. how about this plan: we all continue to call each other on "beating ourselves up" when we notice it, just as we have always done.

for a while, when i hear it, i will need to remind myself:
-- you guys are taking care of me.
-- you guys are trying to help me self-observe and self-nurture.
-- we can have constructive dialog if i disagree with the observation.

i changed here, and i need to change back, not bring you into my nightmare.

if we notice a specific beating-up thing (X), i think it could be helpful - but not just to me - for us to say "i think you are beating yourself up about X" but if it's a general feeling one gets from a post, clearly that wouldn't apply. and if you don't remember, no worries.

point is, let's not delete one of the ways we help each other, even temporarily. i think we'd be throwing out the baby with the bathwater. i think we should just march on as before. i will march with my list of affirmations above, to help me get over this this this.... thing! :o
:grouphug:

~ waves ~

Ginnie

i've used Zoloft (not on a constant basis) for ages and am very familiar with it, in general, and up close and personally. it is not likely to cause anxiety and is even used to treat Generalized Anxiety Disorder. However it CAN indeed cause anxiety in some people. i will talk to my doctor. we may want to try increasing it to see if it helps or make things worse. that may be the only way.

http://www.rxlist.com/zoloft-drug.htm

click Side Effects and Drug Interactions from the menu on the left

scroll down to Table 3: Treatment-Emergent Adverse Events...

scroll to section on Psychiatric Disorders

Anxiety: 4% against 3% for placebo
Agitation: 5% against 3% for placebo
Nervousness: 5% against 4% for placebo

that's not much, but it is something. there were 2000+ patients in each group.

------------------------

i appreciate your concern but i am doing the best i can with my domestic situation as are my parents. they do not have the tv on all day, it's just the evening news. i understand you don't understand all the dynamics but i wouldn't be able to explain them. just realize they are elderly and have their own issues. i am sick a lot between the migraines, depression, anxiety, hyperstimulus stuff.... i am a mess. they do all the shopping. i do very little. i can't stand going out. i do cook sometimes. the "extra" room is not "extra" it is theirs.

when i have a migraine they are much more careful but i can't ask them to tiptoe around all the time.

i am lucky they are willing to put a roof over my head and food on the table. i come here and vent, because it is hard, but believe me, it is hard on them too, and they make sacrifices too. how many people do you know with a double bed permanently folded out in their living room? i don't fold it up because it is sort of like my only personal territory - like a room with invisible walls. when i had a room, i always loved to do things sittng on the bed or on the floor, but here the floor is too cold. i also find the folded up version/loveseat uncomfortable so i only fold things up if someone has to come by, or when i am working.

i don't really want to share more about my home situation. i just need to vent sometimes is all. not really looking for solutions. this is a different culture and many things would be hard to apply anyway. thanks all the same for the concern. :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Mari...

i had answered your post on anxiety and depression with another post but cut and then cut something else before pasting... (confused yet?) so i lost what i typed. i will retype tomorrow, or maybe later if i can't sleep.

but short answer: both. high depression, high anxiety. :o

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Waves

My only thoughts. You and your parents are doing a great job working
together on this trying to solve the problem.

It shows how much they love you, ....:grouphug:

Dear Waves,

This is not a good combination.
I'm hoping the pdoc has good ideas.

M