[Jaspar]

Some friends and friends of my friends have medical issues. They eat junk food even though they have diabetes. They drink cokes and eat hot dogs and are obese. They don't get exercise. We live in one of the cities considered very unhealthy because the people are unhealthy, not because of the environment. More and more act "unstable." They will be pleasant then act irrational, and do not have a clue as to what they are doing that is so odd, aggressive, obnoxious, aggravating or hurtful.

I was listening to one of my friends (he eats well and takes care of himself) telling me about another friend's odd behavior. They have been friends for many years. He made the comment he was glad she wasn't his girlfriend or he'd dump her. I suddenly put it all together. Every last person I and an increasing number of friends were puzzled about all had this in common - they all have medical issues. All refuse to do anything about it. It is very similar to a person with bipolar refusing medications because they don't see anything is wrong. Except in all these cases the people have medical conditions they still refuse to take action about and in each case it seems their brain is now being affected.

I am almost freaked out. With more people exposed to toxins and having autoimmune and diabetic and inflammatory conditions, and cancer, is this the way half of the country is going to be? Sort of crazy and unhealthy?

I feel frustrated. We can't get our friends to take care of themselves.

[bizi]

The only thing we can control is ourselves. WE all have faults, I try not to judge others. If our friends ask for help then we can try to help them, if they don't think they have any problems then all we can do is be there for them and care for them support them. I know that I should be exercising 3times a week. I don't. I have all kinds of excuses....I know better.
sigh
bizi

[Mari]

Originally Posted by Jaspar

is this the way half of the country is going to be? Sort of crazy and unhealthy?

Hi, Jasper,

People with diabetes should be getting better care. Many of them are probably seeing family doctors instead of specialists. Also, their medical plans should probably cover counseling for them --- just like we people with bipolar get talk therapy with most of our health plans.

Diabetes (and the meds to treat it) often causes sugar and carb cravings. My understanding is that these cravings can be intense.

Maybe many of these people you mention are doing a very good job considering the obstacles they face.

M

[Mari]

Jasper,


Stay healthy. Keep taking care of yourself. Find other people to hang out with who are interested in good health.

M

[Dmom3005]

Jasper

Not sure why those of us with diabetes sometimes get the urge to have
sugars and pops.

My big thing is diet coke. I just need it, it seems. But I drink water too.

I also do eat candy, I was doing so good. But I have a teen like son in
the house. And he likes to buy candy.

Heehee

Its easy to go buy it when others do.

Donna

[Jaspar]

It isn't just diabetes. One of my best friends has had chemo for cancer this past year. He is very thin and has some "chemo brain". He is supposed to be on supplements now but won't take them. He did at first but it was "a hassle" and now won't take them. The supplements would help keep him healthy and might even help with his chemo brain because they keep down inflammation.

I don't get it. Maybe I do. They are so unhealthy already that their brains aren't working right so they don't do what they know is healthy so they get more unhealthy which makes them make even more poor choices. Maybe that's it.

I agree that better medical care is required. Counseling MUST be a part of their medical care! But it isn't. I don't want to lose my friends this way.

Should CBT be a part of the medical care of everyone with a chronic illness? Would that help? We've tried to get our friends into therapy but they won't go. Isn't that ironic? They don't have bipolar so THEY won't go. But they are obviously self-destructive.

I know DBT is used for much more now than borderline personality disorder. I know that for BPD it is extremely intense and expensive. Since it is now used for so much more, maybe it is not so time consuming and expensive. Would it help people like our friends who need to take care of themselves. Really, we think they are losing their minds! They ACT like they have mild BIPOLAR! The woman in this post: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) for the Strength to Recover used a regular therapist and workbooks. I want to get a workbook (Christmas present) for my friend with cancer. I don't think it will help because he won't go see a therapist. I don't think he will like that gift, either.

Jaspar

[Mari]

Dear Jaspar,

I'm sorry about your friend.


I agree with you that DBT should be available to those people you describe.

Maybe he will accept and appreciate the book.
Are there some DVDs for DBT? Maybe a video would be easier to watch.

http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Surviva...bxgy_mov_img_b
http://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Actio...802538&sr=1-13

Yikes! These two are expensive.

M

[Jaspar]

Originally Posted by Mari

http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Surviva...bxgy_mov_img_b
http://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Actio...802538&sr=1-13

Yikes! These two are expensive.

M

That second one is a 23 minute video!!!!!
The first one is for "crisis".

But I like the idea of videos, so I'll look more. I saw the manual: "Customers buy this DVD with Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha M. Linehan Paperback $37.99"

Not sure if that is for the patient or for the therapist.

[waves]

Jaspar,

sorry for your frustration with your friends. it is hard watching someone you care for destroy themselves. i like your idea of getting your friend a book or some media about helping themselves.

i had a friend once give me a book (different nature) she felt i needed. she was afraid i would be mad at her, or even offended. i was taught that its the thought htat counts and to honor gifts. so even if it was a book i might not have bought or read, i did, just because my dear friend gave it to me, to honor her gift and the thought she put into choosing it for me. maybe your friend will do the same. if not... well... that will be sad, but not for any fault of yours.

you take care. you are doing what you can that's the best you can do.

~ waves ~

[Jaspar]

Thanks. I went ahead and ordered the first of the three workbooks listed - the DBT skills workbook. He'll get it whether he likes it or not.
Jaspar