I need to vent. I wrote to my FIL around a month or so ago, told him I was moving and getting a new car.

Now, he has written to me twice, saying he is worried about me, and to please please write back.

I know anything I say to him, will get back to Mr. Wonderful, so I am not writing back, so he can pick my brain.

It's the only way I know how to break this bond, because it only gives a connection to Mr. Wonderful and I need a TOTAL break of this bond. I need complete closure, this is very upsetting to me. I don't want to have to change my email either.

I thought this was over. Sorry, needed to vent...

Nikko

((((((Nikko)))))),



Sounds like you're conflicted -- you like writing and talking with your father-in-law, but, you don't want any info to go to

I can only imagine how you're feeling. I don't have any advice, just a suggestion: maybe if you write to FIL and tell him that you care about him and would love to keep in touch with him but it brings up 'issues' and further contact with his son that you just can't deal with.

You're definitely right to break all contact with the EX. I ran into the same sort of problem: My psychiatrist said that my ex-husband was taking ANY info that he got from any source and interpreting it as my still wanting to be in touch with him (the EX). Psychiatrist said I should "stonewall" the EX -- don't give any info to our son that could be passed on (not even my schedule or my plans).

I know how much of a struggle this is for you. You've been doing a good job. Stay strong. BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

PS: Oh, don't know if you could afford it or not, but, you might want to get a cheap, non-traceable cellphone that you could use to communicate with the FIL if you still want to stay in touch with FIL (http://www.ldpost.com/ or http://www.ecallplus.com <<-- about $10 per month for service if you get a used cellphone from http://www.craigslist.com). Or maybe a Hotmail account?? More hugs.

Maybe you could write him a very short, very friendly email and tell him that because of all of the stress, you will need your space. That you can't write him because his son has been so bad to you, you have to be safe, and you can't be safe if dad knows where you are or who you are around?

I dunno. Maybe just say you care about him, but you are working on yourself.

This is so frigging hard. I am sorry, Nikko.

Nanc,

I understand where you stand. Perhaps telling your FIL how you feel and then stop communication.

befuddled2

Nikko

I think you just need to tell the F-I-L for now that you need your
space and that you know how to reach him.

And if at sometime its possible for it to be safe for you to reach him,
and you don't need your space anymore then you will.

That you will not be answering anymore emails, or anything else.
And if you know how to put his email in your spam, do that.

Donna

great idea! block his email addy!
bizi

Thanks everyone......I have not wrote back, as I said it has been a month or so, and I said I was moving and getting a car.

I feel as though if I keep emailing it will only give him the idea I want to keep in touch.

I think I will just leave it alone, and let him get the message or just keep wondering, or block him and bounce the message back. Then he can just wonder more.

Oh, because he had mentioned coming to the state I live twice this year to see his son, and also wanted to see me, separately of course. I couldn't handle that either.

Hugs, Nikko