******** Please don't read unless feeling emotionally safe ********












My brother is in his most severe mania he's been in for probably years. There's not alot of reaching him, though he's better a bit these last few days.

A bit of history...

He's dx'ed narcisstic, bipolar and probably cluster personality disorder. He made his first attempt at age 25. He actually almost succeeded but the hospital brought him back to us. He'd been so long without oxygen that they didn't know "how he'd wake up".

His suicidal ideation was always a comfort to him. I didn't realize this until his baby boy was born (my little man that I've raised for the last almost 3 years - he's four now). After his little man was born, he said that he didn't even have that to help him feel better. It really gave me some idea of his daily struggle and intense pain. I cried for days.

Since then, he's been in the hospital twice, but always called me before he got to the point where he felt he couldn't control the thoughts.

He's not medicated (except for self-medication), and refuses treatment.

This brings me to my concern...

He's not had such a severe mania in years. I'm terribly worried that the depression following will be very severe as well.

They're living in a place that's being foreclosed on (they've lived there rent free for over a year). They'll soon be homeless...again. This always gets him in a bad place. I had to take them food tonight because they had none...they won't even keep their appts. with community services. Their car is broken and they don't have the money to fix it. He doesn't have a driver's license and hasn't since he was 20 (he's 38). Everything is caving in...except his BIG ENTERPRISE he feels he has going on right now.

In this mania, he's created himself online as a production manager for bands. He's actually received money from two of them which furthered the grandiosity of it all. He's talking very rapidly and it's all about how he's convinced this one and that one, that finally people realize he's "the man".

His electric was shut off and now it's all falling apart as the mania is diminishing. When he "comes down" to see the reality of it all, I'll be the most concerned.

His fiance' (the little man's mama) is ill enough on her own to follow this man in all of this. I have the baby and he's safe with me, but his daddy is my baby brother. I loved and cared for him in a life of hell when we were growing up as if he were my own. We only had each other.

I've long since given up on the fact that I can "make it all better", but I'm getting close to feeling the need to remind him that he's just to call me and say, "I need to go to the hospital" again and it hurts my soul...the deepest parts of it.

He's a beautiful man. He loves me like he's capable of loving few. I love him as if he were my own. As he ages, his cycling (along with other mental health issues) seem to be lessening, but this one is pretty severe and that's why I'm so concerned.

Our county has been so great to him twice...setting him up in places, buying him furniture, giving him care when he had been hospitalized. When he went into a mania afterward, he went off meds, back to using, let the apts. go and even sold the stuff they bought him.

I'm rambling on and on and I don't know why. Everyone here has given up on him and so I really have no one IRL to discuss this with. It just frustrates them.

I don't know what will become of my brother. I love him so much.

Worried tonight from what I heard in his voice...

Thanks for listening.

KD

Dear KD,
It's hard to watch someone close to us go through this.

Is he willing to recieve help when he is depressed?
M.

I am not feeling emotionally safe but I quickly read what you wrote...I think the bottom line is that your brother is out of your hands...that has to be so painful for you. He needs medication. Without medication he is a stick of dynamite and his narcissism really shows. How can you obtain relief? I feel so badly for you. We bipolars need to help ourselves and I don't know what legal means there are for others to step in to help us when we don't help ourselves.
Bobby

((((((Kimmy)))))),



I HATE that you're having to go through this. And worse, watch your Brother go through this.

Is there any way that you can legally step in and get him the help that he needs...??

I wish I could help HUGS.

Barb

Oh KD, I wish there was more we could do besides just being here online for you. It sounds like he's getting ready to crash and crash hard. I don't know what it's like to have a brother or sister, but it sounds like you're definitely doing everything you can for him. I don't know what to advise you to do, but I do know that you're not alone, we're here for you KD.

(((((((hugs)))))))

I wish too there was a way to get him into treatment and meds.

Your doing all you can as said. I feel for you. You and your brother are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care of each other. I agree with moose is there some legal way that you can get him help???????????????????

Nikko

We are all here for you always........................


Nikko

Dear Kimmy Dawn,
I too am sorry for you to be haivng to deal with this....
I think that you could call the police on him and have a 72 hour hold on him...if you are afraid that he could harm himself or someone else they will take him to a locked psych unit.
When he is this manic there is not any rational reasonable thought that is why significant others have to step in.
that is what My hubby did for me.
The problem with him continuing to have ups and downs is the fact that those ups and downs could get more closely clustered and could get worse and harder to bring back to baseline.
hugs to you dear kimmy.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Oh honey, how deeply I can relate. It sounds like your brother and my brother were made from the same mold. I kept him with me during his worst depressive episode ever (after his divorce) put him in the hospital for alcohol abuse and attempted suicide. Then I had to ask him to leave 6 months later because he broke his promise about drinking.

I still love him so much. I raised him as well. I had to realize that I can't mommy him anymore and it hurt so bad. It hurt like hell. He is so unique and so ill.

I don't know what to tell you besides watch and wait for the moment to step in and get him somewhere safe. It's so frustrating and scarey knowing there is nothing you can do to force him to get help until he is dangerous to himself or other.

Oh honey. My heart is breaking for you.

Vent away. We are here for you.

Oh, you don't know how much I needed these replies. Thank you so much ((((everyone)))) for the understanding and support.

He's leveling off. I spoke with him today, but the bottom will fall out soon.

He's not ill enough to force a 72 hour hold. That makes it hard as well.

I'm scared for my brother.

When they lose a place to live, they'll split up. It happens every time. He then gets suicidal. He knows more and more that the little man has a "family". He's referred to it often. I keep telling him how much he needs his daddy and that me and papaw can't replace his mama and daddy.

Ugh, eyes are leaking to picture the sweetest face in the world when my brother first sees his son for a visit. I can't explain the connection, the sweetness, the beauty.

I need to remind him of that.

KD