[waves]

I have been feeling withdrawn. i have not done much around the house and have felt exceedingly tired - even more than before. i have not wanted to engage much.

i have been doing some graphic stuff online because i cannot draw - i'd like to.

we have decided i should stay on 100 mg of Zoloft for a while.

I have a difficult anniversary that falls this time of year. This time, it seemed like i was dealing much better, but i was high enough... everything was beautiful and alive and colors and shapes and paces crisscrossed... i could feel the pulse of the universe.... ehhh.... YYYA. o-k. pdoc told me flat out i was verging on hypo and the decision to go down was a nobrainer. but with the taper and consequent mood drop, i think my perspectives shifted so that the anniversary hit me backhand... double-whammy.

i need to get glasses from new script. the opthalmologist did a crappy job figuring out my needs vision wise. the optometrist can help with that part, luckily. contacts were a quick fix for when i have to go out, so i can wear non-prescription shades. i can see ok but not close up. mom gave me some cheapie reading glasses which might help for now.

then my tooth - another story. ugh. also annual cleaning time. need to find someone GOOD... sigh.

i also need to go to mdoc for hopefully exams and referrals for my knee and both ankles, plus repeat thyroid test.

i do not want to see mdoc, nor get glasses, nor clall dentists etc.

i don't want to deal with anybody.

===========================
I'm passing out now. I'll be back to check other threads tomorrow, as I can. Sorry if i caused folks to worry. Thank you all for being here for me. i have to hope the Zoloft will kick me back up in a few days. I just have to wait this out now...



~ waves ~

[DiMarie]

Waves a wonderful sight for me eyes, so glad you checked in. It is a huge pain to take on all the med stuff at one time. Next few days put it on the back burner and regroup instead of pushing too much. I hope the zoloft kicks in and you can feel better. Maybe just deal with one problem that you absolutly have to, like if your tooth is in pain.
Sorry about the anniversary hitting you so hard this year. Tough to work through the dates that loom at us. You are so loved and dear to us, always remember that
Update when you can, thinking of you and keeping you close in my thoughts,
love
di

[waves]

thank you Di, that was a really sweet message.

gotta get the mood and fatigue fixed first or nothing else can happen.

knee and ankles urgent - as soon as i can drag myself to mdoc - latest will be when i need meds refilled lol, they will eventually run out. ha. nobrainer tg.

tooth not in danger plus much research to find new dentist and hygenist... will start researching in better moments...

again thanks for your kind words.

~ waves ~

[bizi]

Thank you for checking in. I was afraid that you had dropped with the zoloft changes. I agree with di wait a few days to let the zoloft adjust your mood.
I am hoping you feel better soon.
thanks again for checking in.
miss you when you are gone.
sorry about the anniversary date....
love you
bizi

[Dmom3005]

Just do what you can.

Thats what beloved friends do.

We love you.


Donna

[mymorgy]

i am so sorry that you have been going through such a hard time. thanks so much for checking in. take baby steps
love
bobby

[Mari]

Dear Waves,

I hope you are going to feel ok soon.

gotta get the mood and fatigue fixed first or nothing else can happen.

Logs of hugs.

M

[waves]

thank you all for being here, and for understanding.
your support means the world to me.

i am working on it. i am trying to help with prepping food and washing up. especially washing up. not so good about things where i have to bend down like the floor because of my knee and ankle. but they didn't get totally hosed this time i carried bags... sosince i am probably not going to mdoc till i need meds i'll wait and see a bit more. and avoid bendy twisty things. no dancing. ha.

my sleeping has shifted to napping-nightowl but the gabapentin reminder sounds off ruthlessly at 8am... i've still been taking 300's 4x day... pthhhh!!!! but it does work. well, today i slept through the dang thing and hours past. crawled to the pharmacy lookin like somethin the cat dragged in for benzo and gabapentin. got 400's so i could mostly make up the total dose for today, and from tomorrow do 400 x 3 a day. hope it works.

i was less tired tonight. hoping maybe the Zoloft starting to kick in again. still bummed. watched a tv thing mom and i like, was able to enjoy, but soon as it's over i feel gutted again. sigh.

==============================

i played sang for 1 1/2 hours yesterday while parents were out. then put guitar away when i saw how late it was. felt like i had to do it all in secret. dunno why. it doesn't bother me that half the building can probably hear me, but it bothers me that the parents know i was singing? i don't get it.

green is for heart chakra. blue for throat/expression. i actually am attracted to both and when i feel good i wear a lot of turquoise... but also like various greens and blues. the day on the bus with the green emerald at the throat ... wrong place (my confusion) but it felt right. so i wonder if it is meaninful to me somwhow, like connecting heart to voice? it seems art does that for me, but only when i feel free in it. when i feel stifled, i become mechanical or blocked.

Mari you have any thoughts on this? hypotheses welcome... oh dear "hypotheses"... choice word... the voice of reason... not quite heart level... hmmmmm... food for thought? tripping over my own words ... in more ways than one .

~ waves ~

[bizi]

hi there and thanks again for posting to us.
I am glad that you were able to get out and pick up some 400,s tid will be much easier to manage then qid....I have had to take antibiotics qid once for my rosacea last year I also had to time the vitamins calcium and probiotics too....it can be such a pain.
Very glad to hear that you sang!!!!!!! very glad to hear this!
do this more often if you are up to it.
love bizi

[Mari]

Originally Posted by waves

green is for heart chakra. blue for throat/expression. i actually am attracted to both and when i feel good i wear a lot of turquoise... but also like various greens and blues. the day on the bus with the green emerald at the throat ... wrong place (my confusion) but it felt right. so i wonder if it is meaninful to me somwhow, like connecting heart to voice? it seems art does that for me, but only when i feel free in it. when i feel stifled, i become mechanical or blocked.

Mari you have any thoughts on this? hypotheses welcome... oh dear "hypotheses"... choice word... the voice of reason... not quite heart level... hmmmmm... food for thought? tripping over my own words ... in more ways than one .

Dear Waves,

My first thoughts are that sometimes the chakras prioritize themselves. Also, they can work with each other of course.The green meditation helped you to get to the blue so you could play the guitar.

These are foods for the Chakras.
Maybe the lists reflect what you have been eating.---http://healing.about.com/od/spiritua...hakrafoods.htm

Feeding Your Heart Chakra
Healing Emotional Hurts

Leafy vegetables: spinach, kale, dandelion greens, etc.
Air vegetables: broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, celery, squash, etc.
Liquids: green teas
Spices: basil, sage, thyme, cilantro, parsley

Feeding Your Throat Chakra
Speaking One's Truth

Liquids in general: water, fruit juices, herbal teas
Tart or tangy fruits: lemons, limes, grapefruit, kiwi
Other tree growing fruits: apples, pears, plums, peaches, apricots, etc.
Spices: salt, lemon grass

I will think on this some more.

M