Hi,

I can barely put a sentence together because my brain is so muddled. This has been going on for almost 25 years. (NOT HAPPY)
-When I went on these meds in young adult hood I was aware of the trade offs of giving up clearheadedness in order to be stable.
-I was not fully cognizant of how this trade off would define my life forever.

I feel handicapped. Putting two sentences together is so much work and the end result is only barely O.K. Sometimes I can appear to be literate. Those are on good days.
Nothing I write is beautiful or poignant or meaningful.
Sooooooooo frustrating. So depressing

M

you always appear to be literate but i understand how you feel you don't measure up to how you used to feel. I feel the same way and wonder if the trade off is worth it because the medications don't stabilize me when i am under stress. You don't seem to have any trouble for word searching and you are very fast. You must have been something else when you weren't drugged. You had previously mentioned that they caused you to lose your creativity. rats.
bobby

I agree with bobby. Your writings here are wonderful and so supportive and informative.
But I too am sorry that you are suffering and sad about your loss of ability as you see it.
bizi

Mari

I cant see your cognition affected... Like Bobby and Bizi said, you always sound sweet, smart, wise and supportive here PLUS, I always understand what you are saying...

Dont get stressed about it... stress can drive us nuts ! (tell me about it ) but right now (and since I met you) you always sound perfectly fine and beautiful....

For the past three days I have been trying to three or four sentences together to describe something. I have to figure out what I want to say and then say it in an interesting way.

I can't do it. I could do it 25 years ago. Now. Not a all.
I am stuck only able to write memos.


I stink.

My memos stink too.

Mari

I totally understand were you are coming from.

I have somewhat the same problem.

But mine is trying to write a good email.

donna

I am sorry for your frustration....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

You are doing more then fine in everything that you say,and report in this forum.

I myself being on a high dose of seroquel am tired all of the time. My hobbies have become not to interesting to me,and I am becoming bored. That's a trade off for not becoming upset,and obsessed all of the time. The seroquel helps me,and my sister says I'm so much better then before. I still get depressed,upset,and obsessed,but it's not as bad now,unless I have heard something extremely upsetting. Not working right now has gotten me away from people who seem to upset me all of the time. People know how to push my buttons. I know when they are doing what they are doing,and it has gotten very old. I hate that cruelty in people,but I forgive the people. When I do a job,I do it as well as I can. The people around me sent mixed messages about my integrity,saying something one time,then something else later.

You communicate very well Mari. You give the right answers,and detail about certain things. You are a Elder member of this forum,and you are known to us all as a very rational person,and good source of information,and understanding about many issues. BF

Mari, that happens to me too sometimes... Probably to everybody in the world Sometimes I even mix words like, I want to type/say "mix" and type "miss" It scares me, it really does but... Oh well...

Dont stress !

And seriously, you are always very acqurate and precise when talking to us ! Not to mention you sound beautiful and nice indeed ! See ? We dont really see your "defects"

Sorry that you are struggling try to keep calm.

keep calm and carry on.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi