have you tried lamictal or topamax as a mood stabilizer? Depakote only helped me to gain weight. Why xanax when I think the preferred anti anxiety pill is klonopin...it lasts longer for one. Ambien didn't work for me at all for sleep...seroquel turned me into a zombie but didn't make me feel better. in fact I think it made my symptoms worse. I got off of it fast. So far risperdal is the only antipsychotic that works for me. Geodon gave me side effects and so did Abilify but others have had great success with them.
my doctor was recommending ritalin to me but I declined....
I have great trouble sleeping too...I haven't gone to bed yet. I suffer from nightmares too. Lunesta didn't work for me nor did trazadone besides Ambien.
One of my friends suggested when it gets a little warmer to spend ten minutes in full sunlight....that might help sleep. I am trying to take my own advice and not stress myself over the lack of sleep...eventually a week or two later, I wind up taking a lot of naps for a couple of days...
I don't get on myself for lying on the couch and just reading or listening to music. I don't watch tv because it irritates me. I have been spending most of my life the past year just reading and listening to music on the couch. I have tried to remove as much stress from my life as possible. As a result, my lows are generally less low and I recover quicker from severe depression. Whatever you do don't beat yourself about not having energy(also a big side effect from the drugs) or lying down all the time. You are being productive in that you are sparing yourself from stress and giving your brain chemistry to start healing. That should be your number one through ten agenda....You should try not to worry about anything....a lot of us have gone through what you are going through or still going through it....I think a lot about death but no longer do I think of active suicide...
I have come to the conclusion that being bipolar is a gift from the great unknown since it has the potential to bring us closer to the great unknown...and to realize that most things in life are trivia anyways....trivia is boring and non fulfilling....I know it is hard to focus on loving when one feels so burnt out and sleep deprived....it is so easy to become unattached when one is feeling wretched....
i rambled enough
just try to make it through one minute at a time...try to be as gentle with yourself as possible...YOU WILL FEEL BETTER EVENTUALLY...IT IS WORTH IT
bobby

i am so sorry you feel this bad! but it's not worth you r life. wake ing up a to a new hell each day is my life or was. i havew achronic pain called tn(trigeminal neuralgia) it's the suicide disease. pain no meds will touch. did you know drugs can make you feel worse than you own chemical inbalance. and you know that's why you feel that way it's a chemical inbalance not you. i had a really god friend commit suicide in high school think of all the life she's missed out on. think of all you'll miss out on. call your doc today get in there and try diff meds. you are worth the time and change you deserve a good-great life. you deserve to live again.-shelly

Stay and talk to us. We will listen.

I went in and the same old BS came out, she did'nt want to here about changing of my meds, it was a misunderstanding. She wanted to increase everything. Needless to say with little sleep I was ready to fire back. I try to keep my composure with these people but sometimes enough is enough.

Now the search is on once again to find someone I can relate to.. So I'm out here on a limb looking thru the phone book. I have to see my primary care doc, so maybe he can shed some light on the subject.

I've thought about seeing a PM P-Doc, but they will just thru me back into the narcs again which I won't do.. So the day has been crazy, I could punch a hole in the wall, but I'd have to just fix it. Just call me maxed out..

that is great news...she really sounded like bad news....I was finally lucky and have been going to a clinic for almost six years...my doctor is superb and an idealist...before I would have poo pooed(sp) a clinic. My GP works in another clinic and she is also an idealist and superb...
Bobby

Just trying to peice this together.
Were you given a diagnosis of BP 1or 2?
Did your old pdoc give you scripts at least?
It is hard to find a new pdoc and could take a while.
Have you considered the idea of being admitted to get off everything and slowly start anew.....
I really feel for you and will be waiting to hear of a new pdoc that you will be seeing soon I hope.
I wish you wellness.
bizi

Keep searching and you will find one that you click with. I've fired a few because they wouldn't listen either. And said the same, just up this and up that. I had enough. Now finally I have a keeper. I almost fired her a couple weeks ago when she said I "didn't" want to get better. Now I realize I "need" her.

The right one is out there for you. I just think you need a fresh start.

Bi-Polar II, yes they gave a myriad of meds.. I just got out of the hospital 3 months ago. But that didn't help. If you wanted to sit in your room all day that's where they left you.. Maybe 15 minutes with a resident thats all. I know it's going to be hard to start over. When I hear it took some of you 4-5 years to find someone I don't know if I can last that long.. You will think I'm crazy but I would rather have anything but a mental problem. Thats bad to say I know, but I am honest.. I'm beginning to feel like a burden here, all I do is complain.

Take Care,

Hi,
Only one person said it took 4-5 years. That was me.

My very first pyschiatrist dx'd me as bipolar and made a lithium plan during my first appointment.

The lithium was a bad choice for me but once I was put on it, the other pdocs didn't think to take me off it. --Hence the 4-5 years until I got a decent med plan.


Most people get straightened out pretty well fairly soon after the dx.
M.

Dear Mark,

When I was in high school I lived near a state mental hospital. Many people in my small town worked there or had an affiliation with an organization that provided goods and services....

I remember my mother saying over and over that she could deal with a child who had a physical condition but never a mental condition.
She thanked G-d that her children were mentally ok.
HA.

Anyway, back on track. Most of my crazy genes probablly come from my mother's side of the family.

It's ok to feel the way you do. We don't have to apologize for our feelings. They are ours.


Keep talking and complaining. You might be able to find some help for yourself. Talking and complaining is a way to reach out. If you can do that, then you are part way on the path to recovery.



Mari