Have you been there?

Do you know anyone who lives there?

There is a lady in our homeschool group, she and her husband just moved here from South Africa - Capetown is the name of the city they are from. She asked to come over on Friday so our children could have a playdate.

I am nervous because I am not generally good at small talk. Although this is one on one and not in a group so I have that in my favor. We have met one other time for a playdate. Last time I asked about were they near Australia? In my mind Australia was right there, so close, but she politely said "no, Australia is a totally different continent". Well duh, I knew that! I'm no accent expert but I could have sworn she spoke like people from Australia. So I asked her about the weather there, were they in summer now, she said yes. Then later in the conversation I asked are ya'll under the Queen of England? She said not since the early 1900's. I think she thinks I'm an idiot!!! Bless her heart though she's real nice about it.

So if you have any conversation starters about South Africa please let me know. Or any good conversation starters in general. Our children seem to get along fine but I can't just sit there and sip coffee. That's what we mostly did the last time and it was just awkward to me.

Just thought of this - I will wikipedia South Africa when I have time.

Hi, Butterfly,



Here are pictures of Capetown. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cape_Town

Ask her the same questions you would ask someone from Hawaii or Alaska ---
how are the schools?
have you seen any good movies lately?
how long does it take in an airplane to get here?
. . . .

Maybe your guest speaks more than one language.
It is ok to ask about her language. She might speak Afrikaans as well as English-- which comes originally from The Netherlands.

M

Butterfly,

Here are some pictures of Capetown on youtube.

Cape Town - Overview (No voice).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpFp5hhCZ4w

Cape Town -- This one is narrated by a local person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL3HXXsd3Oc

Clifton Beach Cape Town South Africa (This one starts with loud music -- you might need to turn it down.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R101gCU4XAg

Have fun with your new church member.

Mari

Thank you Mari! Pretty pictures. It looks more urban than I imagined it. I had no idea about the languages. You are right, maybe she speaks more than English, maybe that's why she has an accent? I will ask her. I've always thought it would be neat to be bilingual. Both my maternal grandparents speak French. I took French in school but have forgotten most of it. The other questions are good, too. Thanks!

Penguins Mari, there are penguins in the 1st video! I'm def going to have to ask her about that!

I know it can be different to talk to people we don't know well. I do have something you can talk about. My son traveled the world in the Navy. He said South Africa is the most beautiful part of the world he had ever seen.
Look on the internet for places that are in that Country. You can look at the topography and see how lush that area of the world is. Ask too about the culture there, and what the Arts are like. Conversation will roll right along. ginnie

Thanks ginnie. She commented that the culture here is different, maybe I could ask her to elaborate. I wasn't sure what she meant. And asking her about the Arts is a good idea!

Dear Butterfly,

As my former French Teacher would say "what you don't know 'bout, leave it out." he was referring to exams, but i found it works in life, at work, in general.

Some people do enjoy being asked about their comings and goings. Especially in this case if she is new to the US as I understand it? I however grew up kind of left and right and found questions about where i'd been tiresome... they always came from people i did not know well and with whom i did not wish to share. you could ask how she is doing after the move, focusing more on the here and now... has the settling in been smooth for her in the US? stay general... give her a chance to 1) share OR 2) give you a short vague answer and change subjects.

Personally, i'd much rather be asked more "superficial" and common things at first, and i do the same. have you seen <recent movie> ... did you like it? do you read much... enjoy music? gardening is one possibility, or the more general "how do you like to spend your leisure time?" i also like the other person to share if they are going to ask a particular question. so if asking specific questions, best to ask about things you are interested in. don't ask if she collects stamps if you could care less to have a conversation about stamps!

you and this woman have at least one really "easy" topic in common too... your kids... you can talk about how they were as babies, when they started to talk, were they fussy or quiet, etc... talk about your experiences as moms.... you probably had very different experiences with each of your kids.

also, nothing says you have to "lead" the conversation. you can let her lead. if she misses South Africa, she might start talking to you about it without being asked. that might be entertaining. if so, then you can ask questions in the context of what she tells.

it can also be nice to sip tea and relax in company, yet not maintain rigorous conversation. just sit quietly at times, perhaps with the odd comment. that depends on the company - some can do it, some can't. i rather like it.

------------------------------------

i chuckled at the Queen of England question, because i've been asked that before. i doubt you came off as duhhh. trust me from personal experience A LOT of folks are not aware of when (or sometimes WHETHER) former colonies, gained independence, unless they have lived there personally. I don't! so, i wouldn't worry about seeming DUHHH. And although I may not have liked to be interrogated on my comings and goings, I never thought anyone stupid for their curiosity, or even misconceptions. You personally strike me as a bright individual... i'm certain that comes through in person. Remember that even the most intelligent people don't know everything about everything! So lay your worries to rest, in that department.

Mostly try to relax and enjoy yourself. Go with the flow. ~~~



~ waves ~

you can ask her open ended questions...I like what waves had to say.
So she can elaborate or not depending upon her desires.
I would not worry too much about this...sorry that you are though.
my mother in law said it is going to be below 0 tonight...happy for our warm temps to day. wonder what their winters are like?

bizi