Hi, Waves and Bizi,

I like that you are helping me.
In order to help mdoc, I filled out paperwork to request my files from pdoc.

Pdoc's office called today to confirm. They wanted to make sure.
I told them to send the files to mdoc because she is helping me and wants to be thorough.

M

I have no experience with stimulants, but if it has a chance of helping Mari, it might be work the hassle. I wish you the best of luck with it! So glad we're here to support you though, big hugs to you in the hopes you find some relief soon!

you probably had to sign a release of information from your pdocs office....not surprised they called you.
good luck in all of this....
keep us posted
bizi

I have been so so so busy.
I am going to come back here. Thank you very much you all.

Mari

I am a scatterbrain and sometimes can't make simple decisions, especially when shopping. I have wondered sometimes if I need ritalin. Please let us know how it goes, if it helps, or pushes you hypomanic, etc. I hope it works well for you.

Hello, All,

Records: I did sign the faxed request for records. Pdoc himself apparently thought it was unusual to request the complete records and asked his office people to double check that I wanted the complete records.
My “complete records” will include twenty-five plus years of records because pdoc has records from the old pdoc I started seeing around 1988.

Ritalin: My old pdoc prescribed Ritalin in the early 1990s when I complained constantly and vociferously about the cognitive dulling of lithium and other meds. I took Ritalin 10 mgs a day for two or three years. It worked great to clear my head.


Mdoc is scattered: I recognized in the last visit that mdoc jumps all over the place. For example, when she asked me to tell her my meds in order to have me confirm with her, she said for me to take Vit D3 with the ‘’scripted meds. She started to talk about how the medical community . . . . .something . . .(she trailed off) . . . then she started to look for my last Vit D3 level and never got to that because she thought of something else to say.
She also kind of interrupts herself.

Depression: I told her I had drastically reduced the Gabatenin to below ttherapeutic doses to 100 mgs because of side effects. She told me to take 300.

Attempted to tell her about possible cardio reactions to Gabapentin: She said Gabapentin does not affect the heart. I told her it might and told her about the calcium channels and that calcium other mechanisms are not widely known. She said "No" and then started reading the list of side effects. I have every side effect. She seemed to say that the ones on the bottom of the list are not relevant for most people.

Gabapentin rash: See above. She said if 500 was too much, try less. I am 100 at the moment. 100 helps with anxiety but not much with depression.


Tdoc likes the mdoc: Based on what I tell her, tdoc thinks mdoc is good for me. Tdoc says that mdoc sees me as a whole person. I can trust tdoc about 90% of the time so for now, I am going with her instincts because I cannot trust my own.


Strategies: I have to work on not engaging in what ever is going on with pdoc when we sort of argue back and forth. I “shut down” other difficult people. I can do that with her. . . . doing a better job of “humoring” her and keeping better control of the discussion.

Klonopin: Waves mentioned Klonopin and other strategies/ techniques in the past for handling the office visits. I need to keep a list handy for the next visit.

Mari

Butterfly,

There are newer drugs available now.
Mdoc specicifally asked me if I considered taking medications for narcolepsy to help me stay alert in the day. Two drugs available for that are modafinil (Provigil) or armodafinil (Nuvigil).

My drug company will not pay for them but some people who suffer from depression can benefit from them as long as they are watching for hypo mania.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/nar...ents-and-drugs
M

Waves,

I appreciate you insight and comments.

You have commented before on that before. I do not think I would know what is going on without your pointing it out.

You are right. She will not. I agree that at the moment sleep is a bigger problem than mood for me. She does not "get" either one so in a way it is all the same to me --- esp with my muddled mind. I have considered keeping a mood chart to track sleep and mood to see if the mini-cycling that I do is related to sleep or happening all by itself.

I remember that MD's write 'scripts. That is what they do. I think the two of us coming up with the ritalin compromise was a way for us to find common ground. She gets to do something for me and I find a med I might be willing to consider that worked for me in the past.

Yes. This! If I let it this could pizsxz me off to no end. I almost see this lack of trust as a personality defect that I will have to somehow manage / work around. She has talked about needing more info -- either from my pdoc or one she sends me to. Getting pdoc's records might help her OR it could open up more questions and more rabbit trails.

It is not likely that she can help me sleep more or better. As far as I know, I slept little even as an infant. If she can get me Ritalin (after I check with pdoc or her neuro/ psych guy) I might just fill it and pretend to take the ****** stuff to give her a bone.

Thank you.

Yes. I fell into the loop / trap again. I felt that I was explaining. Then I felt that I was defending myself. Perhaps I see things as very complicated and she sees them in simple terms.
I am completely overwhelmed in everything I do so I she cuts to something she thinks is clear and then I see it as too hard or not an option . . . .

Regarding motivation (perhaps about the huge hassle to get Ritalin because it is controlled):
She had a hard time understanding that I could not go through the extra steps for that med even though it could help me. She said that patients of hers are motivated to take weight loss pills but not other pills like something for heart. Looking back, I do not remember her point.
She wondered how I do my job. I do not know. I told her about one activity I do. She wondered how I could do that but not fill out simple forms for Human Resources.
I had this discussion with my sister who can do (A) some parts of her job but (B) other parts not at all. To an outsider those two would be switched.
Right. Motivation and energy do not go hand in hand.


The Sleep Thing (as I call it now) for ten years prevented me from finding a tdoc after my wonderful one and I terminated. It was pretty awful to show up barely awake and tell the new tdoc I could not talk about the sleep problems because they would take up the full session and I would not get any benefit. It was horrible trying to get any help.
I do not remember how I got past those barriers (sleep/ sleep talk/ . . . . . ) with current tdoc. I am grateful that whatever it was, I can deal with her.

M

Waves,
This will work better than what I have been doing.

M

Bump for mari