thanks so much
i thought i would wait until Monday to call the other doctors. I was hoping that dr.m. would call today or tomorrow....i am so confused and yes frightened.
I don't feel abandoned....more upset that he implied i really need full help therapist case worker psychiatrist.....I already put in the call to dr m and would feel strange to ask him if i could see him temporally. He might also not get my message til wednesday when he goes to the office i called him at.
I still am frightened although i had very pleasant dreams last night.
love
bobby

I really appreciate what you said and i am strong and in very good shape. that helps big time and should lessen my panicky feelings. I didn't go through the total medicare assignment doctors and might have to. i don't know if i will call any today
bobby

i decided to wait until wednesday to see if dr m. returns my call. if he doesn't or if he says he is booked up then i will make some calls. I have about four months of medication i think
bobby

Do what ever feels right bobby.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

right now nothing feels right. i don't like waiting. I like to know what is going to happen. I am trying to be positive and am telling myself that i felt uncomfortable with the psychiatrist and he probably felt uncomfortable with me.
I got unnerved when he said or implicitly said I need a team to help me. I have been doing better than i have in years. I started losing weight again. I am calmer now than i thought i would be and i am trying to have a positive attitude.
i mailed in the jury excuse this morning so hopefully that will go okay
love
bobby

Bobby

Today I think you are handling this very well. I believe waiting till Wednesday, and looking through the list. And even maybe seeing if
anyone you know goes to any of this psychiatrist. Would be a good idea.

You can always do some research till then.

Even contact the local NAMI organization they might have some information
for you.

Donna

thank you
my case worker from lenox hill called this morning and i told her the story and she said she would help me find a psychiatrist. I don't know if she can.
so far dr. m. has not returned the call
bobby

I agree with Donna... you are doing really well.

Good for you for getting that letter in the mail today and i am still really wowed that you were able to get right on this thing and look up other possible Dr.s. i understand if you want to wait and see what happens with Dr M at this point, and it is ok to play it by ear too. (sometimes that's the best way.)

i didn't know you were losing weight again! congratulations! (you haven't been mailing it to me have you... ? ... because i've been putting it on! ) anyway that is great.

good that you are calmer than you were.

i appreciate being upset by what he told you. i think most psychiatrists want us to have therapists etc etc. but Bobby, i don't believe he was trying to deny that you were making improvements. maybe he just saw room for more improvement than could be had with meds and made a suggestion he felt was most suitable all round, considering your payment plans etc. i still don't like the fact that he integrated this suggestion with dropping you. but it doesn't take away your progress - don't let it undermine your progress and you get lots of credit for that. if this is upsetting you maybe it would be best to put aside his reasonings for now and process it later - when you have recovered a bit more.

i think you are doing great recovering though. it's splendid that you are making positive steps and thinking forward, and not paralyzed by your fear.

keep it up!

love

waves

That is good news. She might indeed be able to find you a psychiatrist. It is a good sign that she called you today. She seems on top of things.

M

i am feeling incredibly lonely right now. I think this is a repercussion of what happened yesterday. a friend is taking me out to lunch tomorrow....i haven't seen her in months and this was planned before the news....I had better focus on that. I wasn't attached to the doctor but his insistence that i needed care is making me focus right now on that i am aging and what will become of me.....
my birthday is in a couple of weeks and i will be 69......I don't feel it but when i think it, it is scary
bobby