It was so amazing to see you in my dreams.

Thank you for the support and the love my friends, I love and will always do.

ok blue we can do this. I will start cleaning my bathroom floor if you start on a corner of your room.
Deal?
bizi

Deal !!!! I cleaned that corner.... still lotttttttts to do here....

I am impressed.


:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Mari

Blue
You would tell me anyone that can be faceless, gutless mean on a social site is not a friend. Friends unconditionally love, support and hug. Not slander.
I think as we get older the social people we call friends and those that are acquaintances differs. They are. Fewer and more cherished.

I have many acquaintances, those that are friends are polite kind and supportive. But, my few close friends, I count on less then one hand care about me to my soul. They would never be hatefull even if we differ in thoughts or opinions, we respect our indivuality.

Most of all friends never call us names or say mean spirited things, especially to immortalized it into print or publish for others to read.

It reminds me of the old slam books back in the day, how true lily uly and hateful they were/are!
Sharing hugsand love,
Di :hug:
Sorry for typos or messed wording middle of the night on my ipad.

i am so sorry about facebook....your dream was so beautiful. I am happy for you. congratulations about the cleaning. you are such a dear person.
love
bobby

You are right Di... I met him in person once and he was so cold and distant, once again, nit like a real friend...

Part of my sadness is precisly that, I thought, i imagined I guess he was a good friend, I mean, not the best in the world but....

My mind is playing games with me... Like my brain is saying: what if he is really nice and Im indeed exaggerating ? But the truth is I didnt like him giving me his back and then saying: Im busy. If for him everything I do is drama, well, i think we cant be friends... He said me the last, that he would call me today... Of course he hasnt and wont... He has said that before and never did.

Is it very silly that I feel a looser ? Like, the girl saying lies to him about me won... And, sometimes I wish he would believe me but, in the other hand, I actually did send him evidence and then I was over reacting according to him.... :(

Bobby, thank for your words and support, you know how much I love and appreciate you :hug:

some thoughts, based on my experiences
 

Dear Majo

I think some of us are more trusting than others. And also when we want to believe something we have a hard time letting it go - at least that is what I am like. I have in the past made mistakes more than once, giving people chances or even just accepting them as friends and ignoring clear signs that they were... ehh... "full of it."

Thank goodness I know there is something fishy about those situations, because - and I know how fortunate I am in this - I do have REAL friends that DO NOT behave like those people did. Even when there is discord or disappointment with a true friend... the interactions are different.

Something my therapist told me once, while discussing one specific (very bad) case in my past:

[paraphrased:] If you feel bad about yourself, this negativity can lead you to believe that you are at fault of a situation, even if you are not. It can also foster the unconscious belief that you deserve not to be treated right. In that case, even when you see another person is not treating you right, you may feel ambivalent, try to find justifications for them, or minimize their behavior.

When I was much younger, and went through a very bad betrayal by someone supposedly very close, I felt like it was my job to help them out of their "evil ways." I actually derailed myself on Christian principles that time. I thought I was supposed to forgive and help the person become a better person. Well, breaking news: that person remained the same worm - in fact got worse over the years it seems.

At some point I ran across something in the Bible (I think in Psalms not sure exactly which, maybe Steve would know)... where Jesus says something like if a person refuses to behave rightly cast them out of your life or something similar. I am still murky on this because I am never sure how many second chances a person gets before I shut them out of my life. Nonetheless, it gave me the feeling that I had a right to do so, and even perhaps a duty to myself to do so. Reading that I felt exhonerated from having to be loyal to someone who did not deserve it.

FWIW It also goes along with the popular saying, "A leopard cannot change his spots." Maybe you have heard this: "El lobo cambia el pelo, pero no las mañas." (for others: a wolf sheds his fur but not his vices).

Many a marriage has failed because of one person trying to change another, or because of one person entering into the marriage believing that the other would change... only to find, they did not. The whole change, expectation, and second-going-on-twentieth chance dealy is true for any relationships - friendships, work rapports, etc.

==========================================

So, what does this boil down to?

-- Beware of head games: False friends may throw "your" flaws back in your face - whether real, or imagined by them. They may exaggerate too. It is just a way of throwing sand in your eyes, to distract you from their bad behavior.

-- Evaluate whether you trust too much, too soon. maybe it would be helpful to be more cautious, go more slowly. trust in small increments, evaluating whether the person is actually trustWORTHY.

-- Evaluate if you are overreactive. If you are, it does not excuse someone who has betrayed you. However, self-improvement is in itself a noble undertaking.

None of this is easy. I am still grappling with all this myself.

A lot of this is based on my own experiences and I'm not sure how much I might be projecting - "seeing" more similarity with you than truly exists. So, please just take anything useful, leave the rest. :o

So sorry for the long post. i just can't seem to be brief sometimes (OFTEN, :o)!

:circlelove:

waves

Waves, like always, you my sister opening my eyes and making me feel better and safer :hug:

This is the best thing I could have read today.

You are so correct in everything you said and Im going to start working in stuff I have to change :)

Today I dont feel any anger anymore... Just sadness and, nostalgy... Hoping they will end soon.

I love you all reading this so much :hug:

(((Majo)))

I am glad the anger has passed. I am too familiar with sadness and nostalgia. :(:o

I hope brighter days will come to you soon. :hug::hug:

love

waves