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-   -   I am getting really upset. I don't know why!!! (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/192628-am-getting-upset-dont.html)

bizi 08-12-2013 09:33 AM

I am sorry you are feeling under the gun about this. Wish it were easier for you.
If i remember right your parents were saying that you were being louder than usual....
that was maybe a week or so ago. and now the little need for sleep which is not good for us bipolar people. There could be no reason for getting manic no reason at all not saying that you are. Just verbalizing that sometimes I can get manic for no good reason it is just the way the beast works.
just concerned.
I could not open up your email this morning. thanks for remembering this is day one for me, I can use all of the support I can get. I got on the scale this morning and scared myself. this is the most I have weighed in over a year. not a happy camper....will have to really get serious about my eating habits. The not drinking should be helpful too. And I am going to go back to the gym more faithfully, no more excuses.
sorry that the pool did not work out for you today.
bizi

waves 08-12-2013 10:14 AM

activation for a month maybe more
 
Bizi the little need for sleep is not just now - it has been this way maybe a month... I don't track it but it's been this way for weeks I can say that. Totally right about mania happenign for no reason it happened to me in spring and it went very fast, like it hit faster than I knew what was happening but I was a mess.

Maybe as long as the loudness... maybe one started a bit before than the other but probably not far apart. The parents shushing me is how i noticed the loudness and at the time they said AT LEAST two weeks - which was as far back as they could remember - it might have been more. I certainly couldn't remember. I asked because it was getting old getting shushed up so much. (Still happening, btw).

Along with that high energy, good mood (but to me just plain good, nothin' stellar), easily very excited and also riled both though -- more vivacious reactions in both cases, but no sulking or depression and no rage or anything.

And one other thing I won't say here. haha.

Oh and occasional spells of thoughts racing but not much.

Activation, definitely. Enough to call hypomania? dunno... who can say, but it seems mild despite the constellation of stuff. I really don't see this being to the point of mania because it just seems too mild to me -- my thinking seems linear enough and stuff -- that and I don't get like super antsy by the afternoon where I feel the need to guzzle alcohol or have someone whack me over the head. :rolleyes:

waves

p.s. I excluded the swim stuff here, becaus that is more an ongoing thing not just something that happened to get past, plus I've had to research things / wanted to to try and make it work. Bit of disappointment also normal because I got really hyped and launched into it full force and maybe the initial hype and rush into things could be a bit not normal for me.

bizi 08-12-2013 03:47 PM

maybe a bit impulsive?
thanks for not getting upset with me about my post.
bizi

waves 08-12-2013 04:02 PM

Yeah the swim thing was impulsive but i was also really reeeellly excited about it... that superexitement maybe was a bit extra extra but no major damage or anything.

np yu make valid point. just trying to explain all the other stuff... lots of it too. i think i am ok though. ;)

thansk for your support! :hug::hug:

love
waves

waves 08-13-2013 04:10 AM

slept more last night
 
Well,

I slept more than 5 hours again last night -- about 7 hours. That's twice in the span of a few days, so maybe I am starting to level off.

We'll see. Energy, mood, all the other stuff still up there -- not complaining! :D NO mixed sx!

waves

Mari 08-13-2013 05:06 AM

On Lane Sharing, on the foot pool, on the changing
 
Waves,

Quote:

but basically the idea is to be slow and cautious about it, make sure the other swimmer knows you are there and stick to your side.
Right. I have done this but did not love it. Something tells me that serious swimmers do not notice the second or third swimmer as long as no one crashes into anyone else.

Quote:

I have lots of doubts about different things. For instance, I change strokes. This is not a strange thing either -- this is recommended for exercising. Yet, I did not see one single, solitary other person in there, at any point, doing anything but freestyle. That is the easiest stroke for sharing lanes but I do not intend to swim all freestyle.
You can do your own stroke. You are expected to do what works for you.

Quote:

A serious problem of mine... I do not have good balance which means I suck at swimming in a straight line. That sounds pathetic because it is pathetic. But that is why I worry more about crashing into someone than about being crashed into. It also means that, if sharing, I must constantly check where I am and where the other person is, because I stray from my orientation in the lane too easily.
Probably we should not be using the word "crash." Two people might swim into each other and depending on how fast they are going they might get hit. At most someone would be annoyed. Otherwise, both would go back to swimming. I hated focusing on staying in the lane because I had to have my eyes open or wear googles and that was a lot of work -- the watching the lane markers.

Quote:

Focusing on relative position so much distracts me from focusing on my stroke. Bad thing, because cleaning up the strokes is important for 1) healthy movements, 2) a good workout 3) implicitly straighter swimming!
Form is more important than speed. You know that.

Quote:

I was thinking of bringing a travel bottle of disinfecting detergent washing my feet & top part of flip-flops when I rinse after the pool. I can probably find an essential oil that is antimycotic to add to the det.
You are resourceful. These are good ideas.
I hope that someone cleans up the pool.

.
Quote:

Also I show up with my suit underneath, so I only have to change when leaving. If I get too bothered, I will forgo that and keep a wet swimsuit underneath.
I like the idea to go home in the wet suit.

Quote:

Anyway, I was upset by the kid being in there. I also felt like the stupid woman should have reprimanded him for staring, regardless of what I was doing or not doing.
People are indeed stupid. I try to cut them some slack. Maybe she was doign the best she could and she had other stuff going on that we do not know about. I know that sometimes I look stupid to others when infact I am working hard to manage.

Quote:

She probably checked nobody was undressed before entering, but I was standing there in a dripping bathing suit and towel. For all she knew, I could have stripped nekkid the very next second. That was creepy.
THat should not have happened. People are morons. Some are careless morons.


I am going to read your other posts.
Mari

Mari 08-13-2013 05:14 AM

Waves,
Quote:

Originally Posted by waves (Post 1006611)
-- Well now that you've paid for it you better do it because you'll definitely get some benefit out of it.

Yeah. That is a stupid and entirely unhelpful response.
The pool is a "sunk" cost wether you go or not.
Go. Don't go. But at this point, your decision to go should not involve the money you spent.


Quote:

I think I need to take it one day at a time for now,
I do not know where you are right now so I do not know if you think you might go back.

Quote:

despite being painfully aware that if I space things out too much I won't increase my fitness level at all. :o:(
This might not be about only fitness. It is about doing something for yourself outside of the home.

Quote:

Today I was all packed to go, including mini-bottle with disinfectant detergent spiked with melaleuca essential oil for antimycotic action. I didn't make it. I ate leftover turkey at 9 am - probably dumb, but I was real hungry. It doesn't usually bother me but at 11.00 today my stomach was churning - swimming not good idea.
It is easy to get thrown off plans I think because the plan is not part of a routine yet.
-----------------

Quote:

I think I need not to read any more stuff on the internet.
Yes. I hope that you have stopped.

Quote:

One guy was talking about blimps,
What a jerk. I am sorry that you had to see that.

Mari


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