[TBI/PTSD]

Two things- one: my neighbors across the street don't get it, won't get it and I am done trying to be nice. I get text messages all day every day about stupid things like "how are you?" " how is Trip?" "How are you feeling?" And on and on. They are very nice people. He is retired and I am sure a bit lonely as his wife still works. They invite me to dinner, I am not comfortable there, Trip can't go, I don't like to be out of my house, or sitting on their patio as he puffs on a cigar, or eating good but very unhealthy food. They invite me out, I don't like to go out. They insist on driving which means I can't take Trip. I m no longer struggling, making myself uncomfortable for other people.

Two: my sister is BPI also. She is very mean when she is having a tough time. She planned my dads birthday last weekend which was real nice and she has never thought outside herself to that extent ever I don't think. It was all to Good to be true because yesterday she sent a punch in the face via email to my mom and I saying it just wasn't worth it, the kids have too much homework, it isn't even on my dads actual birthdate. I think she pulled out because she feels threatened because my mom and I are getting closer and she isn't. my mom and I have always been closer. But he fact that we are going to live together seems to be hard for her.
The way yoga and AA suggests to deal with this is to not suffer and to pray for her. To not suffer, I don't deal with her. It is very painful for my mom and dad too. But. I can't help them, they have to figure it out themselves. I share with them my thoughts on suffering and that if something causes suffering, acknowledge it and don't continue to dabble in it to suffer more. If I keep getting punched in the face with words from her, I am going to stop getting in arms distance of her. It is sad because she has my nieces and my parents grand kids which is driving a wedge in those relationships but I am not the source if the wedge, my sister is.

Am I off base on these? Thanks.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by TBI/PTSD

I share with them my thoughts on suffering and that if something causes suffering, acknowledge it and don't continue to dabble in it to suffer more.

Your neighbors might remember a time when you were needier than you are now. I think it is o.k. to recognize that they are in their own ways trying to be helpful and then cut them out or make a huge moat around them and you. Tell them you are staying home (inside) with Trip.

My understanding of the nature of suffering is very confused -- what with my Catholic upbringing and my little studying of Buddhism. My head feels muddled on this but Yoga does teach us to be present the moment.
I think you have the right idea about how to work things out for you.
You are in a very healthy place when you are willing to distance yourself from your sister's drama.
M

[waves]

Originally Posted by Mari

I think you have the right idea about how to work things out for you.

You are in a very healthy place when you are willing to distance yourself from your sister's drama.

I second that.

Your unwillingness to get sucked into your neighbors' invites is also healthy. I am sure they mean well, and most likely, you can't make them "get it" regarding your current needs. Nonetheless I think being honest/frank about needing to stay home is fine. You don't need to provide reasons, IMHO... our preferences do not need to be justified.

[bizi]

Do you think your neighbors are pushy?
Are you uncomfortable with the man?
Are you afraid he is making advances?
You need to continue to make choices for yourself and setting up a boundary is a good idea.
You will work this out for yourself.
We have to look out for our best interests.
*who else is going to?
bizi

[TBI/PTSD]

Overnight I was invited to the neighbors for brunch Sunday with their guests that are I. From out of town hat I don't know. I just said have plans. I don't think their is anything weird going on with the man. I just think he is lonely while his wife is at work and I am alone so he thinks I must want company too but we all know I don't

Mari, I am gonna stay in today. Like you I have a catholic background, I was baptized Catholic and confirmed Episcopalian but I do best with staying in today, having gratitude. Whatever to keep my anger in check.

My sister comes around and says she was on the cusp of a manic episode. Not acceptable. My mom calls the situation all smoothed over because my sister called her and kept her on the phone for three hours. Thats all none of my business. I know my place with it.

I think I need some yoga. I need a short run and yoga. I have a psychiatrist appt and a yoga class too that is it for today. I have been on a huge cooking spree. Since I hate to go out to eat and we don't really have a full kitchen set up in the new house, it works out. I can take my lasagna's etc....frozen to the new house for meals.

Thanks for your replies, and support.

[bizi]

I am confused.
Did you move? in the process of moving? when do you have to be out of your old place?
Will you have internet access there?
bizi

[TBI/PTSD]

I know it is confusing but I still live in the old place and will until spring or so. I will have internet her. I am spending approx every other weekend attaché new place where we dong have internet. I am going to see if I can get internet on my ipad out there. Have a great day.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by TBI/PTSD

I am going to see if I can get internet on my ipad out there. Have a great day.

That is a good idea. Sometimes my iPad picks up better than the computer.

M