[bizi]

I joined bell's 180 days Alcohol free for right now though....
AF day 108 or 109....

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

I am sitting at my computer and have a cat in my lap or I would get up and look at my calendar.
She must have read my mind as she just jumped down. It is 108. Ah got up and stretched a bit.
It has been a good day for me. Got up early and had a cup of no calorie stevia sweetened black coffee.
I took a MUCH needed shower and read some of the paper. I did not have any clients this morning because I knew that I need to be fasting and have blood work drawn, yearly stuff and thyroid and d3. Hope my insurance pays for it all there must have been 5 different thyroid tests that she ran.
I see my pdoc on tuesday. Don't know if I will tell her about my AF days or not will wait till I have more days under my belt. When I see her again in 3-4 months and I am still AF then I will tell her....that is unless she point out asks me which she probably will. So I guess I will just answer her questions as they arise. She will be happy. She was the one who told me to go to AA and get a sponsor. I told her that I don't think that I am an alcoholic. She said go look up the definition. I went to one AA meeting and did not like it at all. They made me speak, I may have told you this already so am repeating myself.
sorry.
Last night I froze when I went on campus to see my hubby's students jazz band concert, and went to the wrong place!!!! Luckily the parking gods were with me and a place opened up right in front of the building. His students played well.
I have this condition called Raynauds. It is where my fingers and toes turn white and it is a circulation type thingy. It can be painful if I ignore it, I have to hold my hands under hot water to thaw them out. The best way to deal with it is to try to avoid it from happening.
I wore gloves and long underwear but my ankles were exposed.
Today I wore wool socks and hiking boots and a scarf and it was nice and sunny which heated up my car and felt so good. yesterday was rainy and gloomy. It was breezy again but give me the sun any day.It is supposed to be 25 tonight...burr! It is supposed to be another bright and sunny day tomorrow for thanksgiving.
WE are going to be with friends, a pot luck of sorts. We are bringing a lot of green bean casserole and hubby is making clam dip. It is very good! Have not had it for many years just remembering liking it. Our hosts are cooking an organic turkey. This is the 3rd year that we will attend their gathering. They host it for fellow faculty who might not have family there. I think there will be 17 people there.I hope that my anxiety issues don't get to me. I hope that I sit with people that I know.
I am not bringing anything to drink just water. I don't think that I was drinking last year at this time but can't remember.
anyway.
Today I had a very nice lunch at Sandras health food store. I had meat balls and a bowl of butternut squash soup and some beets. all very good and healthy. I saw 3 foot care clients then came home.
Earlier I had gone to the store to buy the casserole ingredients crazy at the store.
I always snack when I come home before dinner and tonight it was bad. I ate almonds and chex cereal snack that my hospice patient gave tome finished half the jar. Ate chocolate covered espresso beans.My weight was up a couple of pounds in a week. have been snacking more. Last week I used a whole can of full fat coconut milk for my coffee. Very fattening but low in carbs. anyway This week I have used french vanilla creamer.
Need to get back to my dieting but not tomorrow. Too many good things to eat.
There will be cherry pies! yummy!
I have been on this computer for hours and hours and hours. This has become my new addiction.
Don't seem to be able to ration my time on here, especially when jeff is away. He is gone out with some friends.
Well I wanted to update you.
I have been sleeping pretty well, I have a lot to be thankful for: My health and family and friends.
I am pretty emotionally stable right now so that is a blessing.
Here is hoping you get to spend some quality time with your family or friends sometime this long weekend.
bizi

[DiMarie]

Woo Hoo! Celebrating your 100 day+ news! All good things mostly, sorry about the raynaulds that is not the type of thing you want with cold weather. Hope you were fine when it warmed up. Turkey day does have great food! Have a great time out tomorrow with the friends!
We are having our turkey on Sunday because the men are working. I am putting on a ham and kielbosie with horseradish, potato salad and baked lima beans. That stays and heats easily.

Research says Americans only gain about 1 pound or Thanksgiving, a few walks might wear it off.

Happy day to all!

[TBI/PTSD]

Hey, your progress is great! I am super happy for you. I am sorry they made you speak at the AA MEETING, THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED. You seem to be doing well on your own. You can always say "no thank you" or whatever when they suggest you share. That is a shame.

I tried to give up my last vice....diet coke...I went out and bought some. Gotta have something.

Congrats and happy thanksgiving!

[Mari]

Bizi,

I hope today goes well for you.
GIve us an update when you get home.

M

[bizi]

well we just got back.
I AM SO FULL
Started off by eating 3 slices of the persimmon bread/cake it was delicious!
Had this really nice lentil and barley and butternut squash and satsuma oranges soup. it was so good.
then had 2 plates of food.
corn bread dressing
green bean casserole which turned out great.
salad with tomatoes
mash potatoes with sour cream and cheddar cheese.
spinach and artichoke side dish
cranberries and mandarin oranges
then had cherry pie and pecan pie and a half a slice of pumpkin pie. Wonderful meal!
After we were done eating the task of clean up is daunting.
Her sister was already cleaning off plates so I assisted her in some of the drying of the fragile plates so that helped.
Every body was very nice and all seemed to be having a good time.... wine was being served but never entered my mind....
everyone was low key so that was good. we thanked the couple for dinner and said what a good time we had.
we rolled out the door and staggered to get to our car.
Still so full.
hope I can sleep tonight!
I think the klonipin helped.
gobble gobble
bizi

[Mari]

Originally Posted by bizi

Every body was very nice and all seemed to be having a good time.... wine was being served but never entered my mind....
everyone was low key so that was good. we thanked the couple for dinner and said what a good time we had.
we rolled out the door and staggered to get to our car.
Still so full.
hope I can sleep tonight!
I think the klonipin helped.
gobble gobble
bizi

Hi, Bizi,

You made the evening work for you. That is so great.
I am happy that you had a good time.

Mari

[Brokenfriend]

Hey Bizi. I'd tell the people at AA that I wasn't ready to speak. I agree with TBI/PTSD. I attended one meeting,and I didn't like it at all. I don't like it when people put you on the spot like that. I'd consider if the staff where experienced,and went about it the right way.

I went through non AA meetings for help at different places,and found strength. BF

[bizi]

I post on belles blog team 180 now and follow her there. she will email me and I her to keep an eye o n things.
I joined soberistas. and follow a couple of blogs there and they have a chat room feature and Ihave made a coupleof friends there now so I can chat with peopleall over the world struggling with alcohol use. The more areas of support I have the better it is easyier to stay accountable.
But not good for my internet issues. Have been onl ine for hours now. so balance is going to be key for me....moderation is always an issue.
going to watch downton abbey now then head to bed.
nite all
bizi

[Mari]

Bizi,

You are doing great.
Do you reward yourself for your success?
Some people keep track by little or big gifts or other tangible reminders of accomplishments.

You will get the internet under control eventually.
Take care of one thing at a time.

M

[bizi]

IT is 110 day AF today.
belle says we should be rewarding ourselves along this sober journey. I have not, I have not even rewarded myself when I reached 100 days.
At first along the way I bought myself a cosmo magazine as I feel it is indulgent to sit and read one of those type of magazines. But I never even got thru it.... I did buy myself some raspberries one time!
sigh
I see going to the gym as a reward but have no motivation to go since it has been cold here supposed to warm up to 65 today, maybe rake some leaves up the yard is littered with other peoples leaves!
hurumph!

I need to get back to taking care of myself,
going to the gym, showering regularly, flossing my teeth.
It has been so cold I just want to stay indoors and be on this computer.
Where is the moderation there?
My Raynauds has been acting up quite a bit this year already! I am not looking forward to heading north for that reason.
Looking forward to spring already.
Bring back the heat already!
bizi