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Old 07-22-2008, 09:34 PM #11
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I can truly understand what you are going through, I have a 22 year old daughter who is bipolar and her meds do not have her stabilized yet. She attempted suicide twice and was just released today from the "Crisis Stabilization Unit".

I feel they let her out too soon as she has not even been put on a mood stabilizer only anti anxiety medicines to bring her down from the "mania" stage.

I asked the center where my husband and I could go to get help in dealing with her and setting appropriate boundaries and they recommended an Al Anon Support group....

We are going to try this tomorrow, but I don't really "get" the connection with Bipolar.

I hope this helps......
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Old 07-22-2008, 11:01 PM #12
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After having my experiance with my daughter, I felt so alone then, I just have this hyper emotion to wish the mental health field was what it should be. For Al Anon, I would only be guessing, but when a family has a member in crisis they must have a program to help us; structure, understanding our emtions, how help those we love.

That was my battle and anger the lack of real answers adn families with lack of support and winging it day to day living with stress and wanting so terrible bad to make the loved one have improvement.

When in crisis and calling for an ambulance, police, co-workers, showed up, jumped restrained, beat and threw in a crusier where she kicked a window i had to pay for. From my training, you have to handle things completly opposit. even if they told her, you know your Mom is a pain in the butt with you, you need a friend, what is it we can help you with.

I saw a mom and daughter in crisis outside my own psych appoint last week and just walked over to the gal while mom talked to see what they could do. From my professional experiance I realized she was in crisis and would not be OK for Mom to drive in a car alone. She could jump out adn likely would. so I sat and talked with ehr. she said I don;t know you what the hell do you want. I said nothing. I saw there was upset family and remember when I had a problem and no one listened and my daughter said we hated her and said it was all her fault, it wasn't. That I have a f's up problem, I am going to lsoe my job, and could use a friend. Even if a few minutes. did she want a piece of gum adn sit in my car. She asked if I could take ehr to lunh. I said if we can;t do it today I would love to do that. I feel like for some reason i was in that parking lot and we should be friends. She said why, I said why not.

I saw the PD a coworker that showed up and he understood my signal to stay back, and Mom to stay back. I told her I think that people were worried about ehr medications being screwed up and did she think so. She said there were things that everyone blamed her. We talked and I said not long ago I made the same call to help my daughter and it did not go well. That because she was not cooperative they jumped her and handcuffer her took her dignity.

I said to her they were my friends I use to drive the ambulanc, the girls name was Dianne like mine. I really would love to be a friend, and she is the best person take control of her situation. be brave and keep her dignity. Could she walk to the ambulance adn let Dianne take her down and get things figured out. (She was in law school when this flared) She smiled at me, asked for my gum and walked to the ambulance.

I was in the process of working with NAMI on certification for instructing police in handling responses to families with a crisis. The family needs someone, not a cop beating retrianing or escalating a good chance at de escalting the situation. Just be himan and care for heavens sake. Let people ahve their dignityl
When them came to my call, they charged my daughter down in the front yard I heard a lound BANG, I thought they shot her. It was a rock she threw in her car window because when I called for ambulance assist, I thought if they drove us down instead she would be calm and not jump out. Instead they escalated it and made me pee my pants in fear! I thought they killed her until I got down there.
I still will finish my training, it is a need law enforement and first responders need.
Sorry to get off topic, but I miss my daughter and if someone really cared, and really helped before she was dischaged without a plan or help she would still be alive. They gave her meds she was highly allergic to, I had her home one day.

I feel and totally understand and have such compassion for those in the mist of the life we live with challanging problems.
My prayers for you and hope that somewhere if it is Al Alnon, you find support and the one thing that helps.
But I care, know that
dianne
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Old 07-22-2008, 11:41 PM #13
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I have no pearls of wisdom, but am aching for you all.

Leaving gentle hugs for the room.
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I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it!


LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF!
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Old 09-02-2008, 09:02 PM #14
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Default Hello

I'm new here, so I don't know where exactly to start. But, I'll just say I've been searching around for some kind of 'support group' to help me with my problems with my 19 yr old daughter...I went through similiar (still am) with my 23 yr. old son..but, I will just address my problems with my daughter..since, they're more recent..

I've had problems, for the past 1 yr. to 1 1/2 yrs..I know that this time of her life, is full of stressful events and changes..but, I've been patient and helped her. But, I do see now, I let some of her behavior go past me..but, recently they got worse and worse..until, the big 'blow up' 3-4 wks. ago..she ask me if I would come up (9 hr drive to see her before she started her 2nd yr of college)...our last visit, when she was off for summer break..was pretty good! but, the visit was horrible! went home 3 days earlier, as she disrespected me so badly! hurt me very much...I couldn't take it anymore..she realized she had hurt me, yet she doesn't even call me...to just talk, and not leave it like that..she actually ignores me now..and STILL IS disrespecting me? I don't understand IF she knew she was wrong, she knew she had hurt me..so, why would she NOT want to talk and make it right? the times we talked, was actually making progress..but, when I need to ask her things (since, we need to discuss financial things) but, as soon as it's uncomfortable or she needs to be respectful etc...she'll say she has to go, and turns her phone off? so, she's basically continuing her disrespect? why?

This really hurts me and she knows it...I rented a car for us, so we can go siteseeing..(and she wanted it)...but, yet she would use it to see her b/f..and I did allow her, because I understood 'young love'...but, now I see it was all out of disrespect for me..I ask her to take 1 quarter off, come home..and us get counseling, that's how bad it hurts..but, she wouldn't...I just don't understand..I was so upset/hurt, that when I got home..I tried to call her, so we can work it out, discuss it..and she wanted us to have a 'break'...I got so desperate, thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown..and told her, I needed her help..I really did..) and said, I felt SO BAD I thought I might have to check myself into a hospital..SHE still didn't want to talk to me??? this really hurt me more??? how can children do this? I went on antidepressants, because this is so hard to deal with...and it makes me upsets, that I have to do that...any advice, opinons, help??

thanks,

naturewoman
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:08 PM #15
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wow!
You are having problems with both of your kids....
I am not a mom so I don't think I can address your question...am sorry.
It sounds like your family could use some counseling.
Have you ever gone to see a professional therapist to get some insight?
You sound broken hearted.
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 09-02-2008, 10:20 PM #16
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Dear Naturewoman,

I don't have any good suggestions.
I just want to send lots of hugs


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Old 09-09-2008, 08:51 PM #17
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It is my hope to someday help families with the needs mentioned here.
I totally "get it."
My heart goes out to you.
If anyone goes to the Al Anon meetings, please let me know how receptive and helpful they are.
Thank you.
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:21 PM #18
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Default Mom misses her baby

Hello, This has been a real tough year. My husband about killed my son because of his lies. He is 20 and he knows everything. He started dealing drugs, wanting to make phony money, and wants to buy a gun. Does anyone else see a problem with this picture? My daughter is in the medical field and informed me that his eyes are yellow, and he is sick. He won't have anything to do with me. I feel my world falling apart. I need help, or I will start using again myself. I have been clean for 9 years. Is there someone like me?
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Old 03-19-2011, 06:48 PM #19
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hi and welcome to the forums.
I don't have children but I am sorry .
It sounds like a very hard situation that you are in.
maybe his sister can help direct him to proper medical care since she is in the medical field.
20, that is a hard age...is he in college?
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 04-22-2011, 10:07 AM #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Jacquie View Post
Hi guys - sorry long time no see - busy isn't the word right now, it's more like ' lightening pace' or something - wish I had all the time in the world to sit here and chat with you all.....

So much has happened since last we 'talked' , but in a nutshell, here goes: My daughter, who, you may remember, is 23 was approved for disability this past August - I swear it had nothing to do with the fact that I workfor DDS, doing the same adjudicator job! Anyhow, things have been up and down with her, as usual, despite the host of meds she's on. There is a real tough thing she's going thru now, too...She is quitting smoking - she HAS to, because she is having surgery in either Oct or November for breast reduction - she's finally had enough of those huge 'watermelons' she has - like a 40G or something, and wants to fit into regular clothes. But, God love her, she's so moody, despite the nicotine patches and all. Sometimes she yells and screams at me so much, she makes me feel like a worthless piece of crap - kind of like the way my Mom used to make me feel. Then, she's always got that 'ace in the hole' - her threats of suicide. She's making our lives a living rollercoaster, it's becoming harder and harder to take sometimes. So, is there an organization somewhere concerning TOUGH LOVE and grown children?? Heaven help us, we need it sometimes. Like tonight, we came home from dinner and she was upset because we had left her alone even longer than being at work. Long story, but I feel like our lives will NEVER be happy or normal with her and those antics. I'd throw her out, but we all know she'd probably end up six feet under sooner or later.

What is a mother to do ? Besides all this, I am suffering from a crisis situation of my own with my hereditary spherocytosis (blood disorder like sickle cell) and I'm looking towards having my spleen removed in the near future.

Any ideas? We love her so much, but some days even love just isn't enough...

Thanks, dear friends, for any input here!

Hugs, Jacquie
I know this will sound weird but going to Al-anon meetings helped me greatly!
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