| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
| Today's Posts |
|
|
09-02-2008, 09:02 PM
|
#1 | ||
|
|||
|
New Member
|
I'm new here, so I don't know where exactly to start. But, I'll just say I've been searching around for some kind of 'support group' to help me with my problems with my 19 yr old daughter...I went through similiar (still am) with my 23 yr. old son..but, I will just address my problems with my daughter..since, they're more recent..
I've had problems, for the past 1 yr. to 1 1/2 yrs..I know that this time of her life, is full of stressful events and changes..but, I've been patient and helped her. But, I do see now, I let some of her behavior go past me..but, recently they got worse and worse..until, the big 'blow up' 3-4 wks. ago..she ask me if I would come up (9 hr drive to see her before she started her 2nd yr of college)...our last visit, when she was off for summer break..was pretty good! but, the visit was horrible! went home 3 days earlier, as she disrespected me so badly! hurt me very much...I couldn't take it anymore..she realized she had hurt me, yet she doesn't even call me...to just talk, and not leave it like that..she actually ignores me now..and STILL IS disrespecting me? I don't understand IF she knew she was wrong, she knew she had hurt me..so, why would she NOT want to talk and make it right? the times we talked, was actually making progress..but, when I need to ask her things (since, we need to discuss financial things) but, as soon as it's uncomfortable or she needs to be respectful etc...she'll say she has to go, and turns her phone off? so, she's basically continuing her disrespect? why? This really hurts me and she knows it...I rented a car for us, so we can go siteseeing..(and she wanted it)...but, yet she would use it to see her b/f..and I did allow her, because I understood 'young love'...but, now I see it was all out of disrespect for me..I ask her to take 1 quarter off, come home..and us get counseling, that's how bad it hurts..but, she wouldn't...I just don't understand..I was so upset/hurt, that when I got home..I tried to call her, so we can work it out, discuss it..and she wanted us to have a 'break'...I got so desperate, thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown..and told her, I needed her help..I really did..) and said, I felt SO BAD I thought I might have to check myself into a hospital..SHE still didn't want to talk to me??? this really hurt me more??? how can children do this? I went on antidepressants, because this is so hard to deal with...and it makes me upsets, that I have to do that...any advice, opinons, help?? thanks, naturewoman |
||
|
|
09-02-2008, 10:08 PM
|
#2 | |||
|
||||
|
Wisest Elder Ever
|
wow!
You are having problems with both of your kids.... I am not a mom so I don't think I can address your question...am sorry. It sounds like your family could use some counseling. Have you ever gone to see a professional therapist to get some insight? You sound broken hearted. bizi 
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
|||
|
|
|
03-18-2011, 06:21 PM
|
#4 | ||
|
|||
|
New Member
|
Hello, This has been a real tough year. My husband about killed my son because of his lies. He is 20 and he knows everything. He started dealing drugs, wanting to make phony money, and wants to buy a gun. Does anyone else see a problem with this picture? My daughter is in the medical field and informed me that his eyes are yellow, and he is sick. He won't have anything to do with me. I feel my world falling apart. I need help, or I will start using again myself. I have been clean for 9 years. Is there someone like me?
|
||
|
|
|
03-19-2011, 06:48 PM
|
#5 | |||
|
||||
|
Wisest Elder Ever
|
hi and welcome to the forums.
I don't have children but I am sorry . It sounds like a very hard situation that you are in. maybe his sister can help direct him to proper medical care since she is in the medical field. 20, that is a hard age...is he in college? bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
|||
|
|
|
07-04-2008, 03:46 PM
|
#7 | ||
|
|||
|
New Member
|
Hi, I am new in the chat room. Have a 28 yr old daughter who has been diagnosed with everything from bipolar, personality disorder,autism and what ever else a new doctor thinks they see. She is also strong willed and spoiled. Love is powerful but painful with people we need to tough love as we don't know how far to go and what the outcome will be. Ny daughter is in crisis right now and it takes everybit of energy to handle her and not lose your own mind. I have learned a couple of things but sure don't have the answers for everything. Jacquie, your health is most important as without you being healthy you can help no one. I also have learned to emotionally detach when I have to enforce a boundary I have set. My Linda also has delayed development and is sort of stuck in her teens years. Didn't mean to post so much but I truly empathize with you.
|
||
|
|
| "Thanks for this!" says: | DiMarie (07-13-2008) |
|
07-11-2008, 01:50 PM
|
#8 | |||
|
||||
|
Senior Member
|
Good grief...we have much in common and I might pm you.
Does your child have bipolar disorder? Is she on medication? We have someone in our family, same age, with this dx. Thank goodness you got her on disability. Esp. since you have your own health issues (and even if you did not), you can not be a nurse maid to a grown child and not expect it to take its toll at some point. Very few people in the world have the energy and financial resources to truly care for another human many days a week and that is what often happens when a person is unwell. And IMHO, few understand the STRESS and complexities of this situation...like when you talk about letting her go and the fear of the her ending up "six feet under." We hope our relative will grow and learn, but at the same time understand that you can't let things get totally out of hand and we need to show compassion. Still more...if your child is suffering from Bipolar Disorder, it is imperative that she sees her doctor regularly and that her medication is monitored. Your child might also need therapy...someone to help with anxiety, mood swings, etc. But even through the difficulties of the illness......I like to think with effort improvements should be able to be made. Even if they are little baby steps, one always hopes for improvements. (Sigh) Regarding your question: I do believe there is a group called Families Anonymous that might be beneficial; although I think the majority of participants are dealing with substance abuse issues...that certainly would not be the entire story. Another group to look into would be NAMI. Also, I can't find it right this moment...but I have a good book on "boundaries." There are many good books on this topic that might be of help. My heart goes out to you, I think it is highly likely that I understand. I DO hope you have your own therapist and that you take time to care/nurture yourself whenever possible. It is a complicated and confusing situation requiring much thought, patience and strength.I also empathize with your situation. Susan/Linda/JJ: There is a separate area here called "Parents of Bipolar Children" that might also be of assistance. Last edited by Vowel Lady; 07-12-2008 at 07:11 AM. |
|||
|
|
| "Thanks for this!" says: | DiMarie (07-13-2008) |
|
04-22-2011, 10:07 AM
|
#9 | ||
|
|||
|
New Member
|
Quote:
|
||
|
|
| "Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (04-22-2011) |
|
08-18-2011, 09:44 AM
|
#10 | ||
|
|||
|
New Member
|
This is my first post and I need help. Adult male son(42) is addict with money but no job for a year. He is bipolar and recently informed us that he wants to die. He lives alone and says he does not want HELP. I spent all day yesterday answering his phone calls from jail after he was arrested for DUI at 730 AM. Police found no evidence of alcohol because he was on Zanax (? sp)
I am ready to take the tough love approach...not sure about my wife. What do I do? |
||
|
|
|
|
Hello
, but in a nutshell, here goes: My daughter, who, you may remember, is 23 was approved for disability this past August - I swear it had nothing to do with the fact that I workfor DDS, doing the same adjudicator job! 
Anyhow, things have been up and down with her, as usual, despite the host of meds she's on. There is a real tough thing she's going thru now, too...She is quitting smoking - she HAS to, because she is having surgery in either Oct or November for breast reduction - she's finally had enough of those huge 'watermelons' she has - like a 40G or something, and wants to fit into regular clothes. But, God love her, she's so moody, despite the nicotine patches and all. Sometimes she yells and screams at me so much, she makes me feel like a worthless piece of crap - kind of like the way my Mom used to make me feel. Then, she's always got that 'ace in the hole' - her threats of suicide. She's making our lives a living rollercoaster, it's becoming harder and harder to take sometimes. So, is there an organization somewhere concerning TOUGH LOVE and grown children?? Heaven help us, we need it sometimes. Like tonight, we came home from dinner and she was upset because we had left her alone even longer than being at work. Long story, but I feel like our lives will NEVER be happy or normal with her and those antics. I'd throw her out, but we all know she'd probably end up six feet under sooner or later.
? Besides all this, I am suffering from a crisis situation of my own with my hereditary spherocytosis (blood disorder like sickle cell) and I'm looking towards having my spleen removed in the near future.
Hybrid Mode
