[Mari]

An author has written a book for people with auto-immune disease that reminds me of what people with mental illness go through.
We have to measure our activities and
(1) decide whether we can handle it and (2) decide if we will have enough energy/where withal to deal with the next task.
I find the decision making to be exhausting and more than I can take sometimes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory
Spoon theory

Spoons are an intangible unit of measurement used to track how much energy a person has throughout a given day.
Each activity "costs" a certain number of spoons, which might not be replaced until the next day.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/ar...-spoon-theory/

I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing.
When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war.

I do not see this the same as war but I agree with the author that getting through my day does require a huge amount of planning and prioritizing that also uses some spoons.


M

[Dmom3005]

Thanks I used to have a friend on facebook that talked about spoons and
not having anymore. I knew what she meant but not the reasoning behind
this thought.

Donna

[Brokenfriend]

I've heard,"You don't look sick",and/or "You look good",or "You look OK" when trying to explain that I'm having emotional troubles.

A lot of people just don't get it. There is evidence that these illnesses exist,and show up in various tests.

They still don't get it allot,and say,"Well you look OK". BF

[waves]

I don't really go to the spoon analogy, but I am very much aware that I have energy reserves which are not only finite, but significantly smaller than those of normally functioning people.

I am also aware of using different types of energy for different activities. So for instance I might be mentally exhausted and thus unable to engage in an intelligent discussion or research an involved subject, but at those times, I might be able to 'rest mentally' while cooking or washing up. Conversely, I might be physically exhausted and unable to cook or clean, but can then recharge physically while doing an intellectually demanding activity. Obviously, I can be drained in multiple areas at once too... and then about all I can do is sleep or veg.

One of my energy reserves has to do with simple auditory processing. You'd never think hearing requires energy, but I guess my limits there are low enough that I notice. I have very good hearing, btw, but I am not good at filtering sounds masked by ambient noise. Anyway, after a time chronic "noise" exposure, includingg ordinary conversation, music, television, sometimes even the birds, I go into a sort of auditory overload and need quiet. Continued sound exposure is draining to me, emotionally and mentally.

The thing about the sound I believe demonstrates that you don't even have to be sick to have energy limits/few spoons. But certainly being sick in invisible ways, or simply different in invisible ways can carry energy limitations, as well as a difficulty in relating to others about these limitations.

[Mari]

Originally Posted by waves

One of my energy reserves has to do with simple auditory processing. You'd never think hearing requires energy, but I guess my limits there are low enough that I notice. I have very good hearing, btw, but I am not good at filtering sounds masked by ambient noise. Anyway, after a time chronic "noise" exposure, includingg ordinary conversation, music, television, sometimes even the birds, I go into a sort of auditory overload and need quiet. Continued sound exposure is draining to me, emotionally and mentally.

The thing about the sound I believe demonstrates that you don't even have to be sick to have energy limits/few spoons. But certainly being sick in invisible ways, or simply different in invisible ways can carry energy limitations, as well as a difficulty in relating to others about these limitations.

W

Sensory issues make sense. My sister used to have problems with florescent lighting at work. She wore sunglasses when she needed to.
The difference between her and me is that she does not make apologies or try to "hide" that she functions differently.
If someone commented on the shades, she would say matter of factly, "They are prescription." -- which is true because the mdoc told her to wear shades.

Since I am always tired, the spoon theory works for me.
When I have an additional issue in play, I sometimes feel uncomfortable trying to cover. Covering costs me spoons.

M

[waves]

Oh, it's a good analogy, and I can work with it, but I usually just think and speak in terms of energy. Rather than say I've spent too many spoons, I tend to say I've spent too much energy, or am exhausted in this or that manner. It's the same thing, just different words.

I can relate to the lighting/shades thing, due to migraines, but I do apologize briefly, when I remember I'm "shaded", as I feel it is rude. I will say something like, "I apologize for keeping my shades on while we speak; I am light sensitive." People usually accept that and move on.

People can get sound sensitivity too, when it's about the jackhammer from road construction outside, but I can't very well put in earplugs while someone is talking to me, and tell them I'm down too many sound spoons, can I? Or on a nice quiet day, because the birds are chirping, or because someone is shuffling papers next to me? This is not migraine related and the doctors have had nothing to say about it. When I am in trouble with this, all I can do is "spend more spoons" until I'm completely fried, at which point I "graduate" to my usual excuse...

My standard excuse at work for almost anything was, "I'm just a bit tired." I was chronically tired from sleeping only 2-3 hours during the week, anyway. It is something people accept, so I started using it for any random state of ill-being. I believe others do this too, just, they probably don't have to as often as we do.

==============

And yes, absolutely! Covering costs spoons! Big silver serving spoons, in fact!

==============

[Dmom3005]

I will tell people when we are starting a case conference. If it looks like
I might need my sunglasses. I just explain I've been fighting migraines.
And the light sometimes bothers my head. They are usually fine.

I have already warned the parent I'm working with. So they aren't
thrown when I make the announcement.

I do remember one time, I was in a meeting in my own high school. WIth
the teacher who helped set up Devin's plan after we needed the sunglasses, and hat in school. She just looked at me, and said, well we allow sunglasses
and even if necessary sometimes we turn off half the lights.

Donna

[Mari]

Originally Posted by Dmom3005

I will tell people when we are starting a case conference. If it looks like
I might need my sunglasses. I just explain I've been fighting migraines.
And the light sometimes bothers my head. They are usually fine.

I have already warned the parent I'm working with. So they aren't
thrown when I make the announcement.

I do remember one time, I was in a meeting in my own high school. WIth
the teacher who helped set up Devin's plan after we needed the sunglasses, and hat in school. She just looked at me, and said, well we allow sunglasses
and even if necessary sometimes we turn off half the lights.

Donna

Donnna,

That is lovely.

I DO like working in barely lit rooms.

M

[Dmom3005]

Yep, she is a wonderful person. Still a great friend. Even the
one that Derrick had, who is the special Olympic coach and I are
great friends. Don't know what will happen with the programs
when they finally retire.

Donna