I think I have been running hypo. The other day a friend told me on the phone that I sounded manic. I told him I was really wound up about a lot of things but it seemed more like anxiety, and he agreed it was hard to tell them apart.

Later I talked to another friend for a while too, and after that my mind was a total whirlwind. I was too messed up to focus on the course application I've been working on.

I was not too messed up to attempt to answer an email I got (guess who), which threw me eighteen different emotional directions. Suffice it to say I now have about six different drafts, all with lengthy and in some cases rather too-marvellous-for-email pieces of writing... some delightful, some scathing, some musing, some instructive, some tongue-in-cheek, you name it. I covered every attitude on the frikkn planet.

[aside, and not joking: Can anybody think of a way I can package that and SELL it? ]

I continued on these yesterday, even though I had taken a med the night before, but then.... without much real warning, I crashed pretty hard.

I have since been back working on my application, for the most part. I think I'm overworking that a bit too, but at least it is something ultimately constructive, and bit by bit, parts are being completed, so there is some net progress amidst all the wheel-spinning.

===============

Anyway, I now think my friend was right. I have been running hypo.

Tthinking back to the past few weeks, I realized there have been other "tell-tale signs" I had not stopped to think about. There was one blatant one that almost always means I'm hypo too, but I just hadn't stopped to think about it... till it went away with my crash yesterday.

I have taken a couple of doses of my long-acting benzo lately, and it seems that is mostly what has helped bring me down a notch. I guess I will take more tonight. It is an anxiolytic but can also help with mood stabilization, kinda like Klonopin.

Even so, I don't know if I'm "done". The crash took me down a bunch, yeah, but mind is still going like gangbusters I realize. Sometimes I'll like mini-crash but bounce back -- almost like normal mood swings but above baseline.

So I guess, until I come back to good and chill (or depressed! ), I need to be ultra-careful about my interactions with people, especially new people. Rats, and I just thought I was stepping up to the "ordinary life" plate, albeit with some difficulty, and feeling very overwhelmed!

Oh and hey, if you think I sound pretty 'normal/sane' and you disagree I sound manic, let me know. (Or if you agree too.) All feedback is good, and I'll still be careful.

waves

There is a meet up on Thursday with a different group. I have felt a bit burned/pressured by the other group, especially the leader, so I started checking out different groups again. This one had caught my interest before, but they were meeting too far away; now they are meeting in the city.

The group description and interest tags are more well-rounded... more laid back. The introductions I've read by the organizer seem to me more about hanging out in English, and having a good time just using English, rather than people trying to focus on it. It is led by a guy who sounds bilingual or close. It more suits the original reasons I joined the meetup groups, last year, before all of my need-to-meet-business-contacts ideas.

The upcoming event is at a nice-ish bar, and seems pretty low-key... go listen to some music, kick back and have some light conversation over a beer. Sounds very chill.

But now I don't know if I should go at all. It might be better to just stay at home and stay very, very, privately, guardedly, low-key.

Any opinions on this?

HI waves.
You know yourself best.
If you have been running hypo for longer than a week than isn't that manic?
The tail spin stuff sounds manicy.
The writing many different responses sounds manicy too.
I think you can wait until thursday to decide if you want to go or not.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Just wondering if you have had your thyroid checked. Some years ago, my GP ran some lab work. At the time, I didn't realize she had also checked thyroid testing. Some days later, the doctor called to say my blood results shows I have Graves Disease (Hyperthyroid). I had never heard of Graves Disease before. My doctor gave me the name of an Endocrinologist to see. I was treated for Hyperthyroidism for a few years; eventually became Hypothyroid.

Many symptoms you write about are so similar to how I felt when I was Hyperthyroid; that's why I asked about thyroid testing.


Gerry

Thanks Bizi....

That's true, I can just wait until Thursday to decide about going out. Thanks for the feedback on the other stuff, too.

I don't know how long I've been like this... seems like it was gradual. Maybe a week, two, three... ?

I started smoking again too, on impulse two days ago but have kept it up.

------------

Oh rats! I forgot my benzo tonight! Not used to taking it. Will take a little now.

Hey, Ger,

Thanks for the observation. Sorry that happened to you!

I have not had thyroid labs recently, but have in the past. It's true the sx are similar, actually both hyper- and hypoactive thyroid mimic mood disorders, but they typically cause other sx not least of which weight loss (hyper) or gain (hypo), eye changes, skin changes... I don't have any... only mood sx.

And it isn't a first for me either... this happens from time to time.

Do you still have zyprexa if you need it?
Do you have a pdoc on board if you need one?
bizi

My pdoc treated me for depression this winter, so yes, I can call him if things seem too much. I'm not really willing to go back on meds though. I'm not willling to take Zyprexa and most other things didn't help.

I mostly just wanted some feedback from here on how I've been sounding recently (past few weeks). I know it carries limited weight because reading someone is different than being around them, but still.

Other than that, I just plan to try to chill, and proceed with extra caution on social interactions, where I tend to get into trouble.

[QUOTE=waves;1146013]Hey, Ger,

Thanks for the observation. Sorry that happened to you!

I have not had thyroid labs recently, but have in the past. It's true the sx are similar, actually both hyper- and hypoactive thyroid mimic mood disorders, but they typically cause other sx not least of which weight loss (hyper) or gain (hypo), eye changes, skin changes... I don't have any... only mood sx.





Waves,

In a way, I was fortunate when I was Hyper; I lost weight and was able to eat & drink chocolate Malts all I wanted; didn't gain a pound. Since I didn't have any bulging of the eyes, the Endo felt I had not had not been Hyper for too long of a timed before being diagnose. Did have a bit of hair loss; but when I went on Tapazole that all cleared up; never had the skin problem either. But still felt some of the hyper effects; moods, anxiety, irritability, etc. (You are right they are somewhat similar.)

Unfortunately the so called "good times" changed after a few years and now am Hypothyroid so even tho I am on Synthroid, still have to be careful with weight. I get lab tested every 5 months. Once thyroid issues; always thyroid issues.

Hi waves

Just wondering - thinking back to this exact time last year [end of Spring/beginning of Summer] were you feeling the same?