Dear Mari;

Ugh. Makes a trip to the dentist sound appealing.

Its too bad your siblings cant come for a visit at the same time your parents will be there. Then you could make it a group venture together lol. Just remember - you are who you are and that isn't going to change. He is who he is and that isnt likely to change either. Don't spend so much time worrying about the stuff you cant fix, and just concentrate on some things to do while they are there that will cause the least amount of chaos.

Thank God they are not staying with you at your apartment though. That would be distaster waiting to happen. This will come and go and you will make it though it; perhaps even have a couple good times in the mix. If not, at least its just a visit and life will go on as before after they leave.

Maybe you could do a movie or a play? No talking during those.....
Or buy them tickets to something that you thought "they" would like to do together while on vacation. Thoughtful and you wouldn't have to be there. Fishing maybe? Then you could spread out and not have to stand by each other getting on each other's nerves. Get out family pictures of when you were younger? Then he can go on for hours talking about "the good old days before we ruined the country" and you can just smile and nod....

And of course ducttape as a last resort!
Bobi

Hi, Bobi,



Your suggestions work for a more or less normal family. I will try some on for thought anyway.


A few years ago, we all met with spouses and kids at a time share of one of my brothers. It was a disaster. I was on extra Xanax and skipped most of the activities to stay in my room and peacefully watch tv and nap.

My father said that the next time the whole family gets together should be at his funeral.
He meant it.
He can't handle us all together -- and prob never could. Mom managed during that trip by completely ignoring everyone except two of the grandchildren.

Your post reminds me that because neither hubby, I, nor my mother drink, he might not get drunk here in the apt and do most of his drinking back at the hotel instead. That is fine with me.

They are coming during the hottest times of the year: high 90s in the afternoon. I stay out of the sun. I'm like a bat and only go out after sundown.
And mom has to stay out of the sun because of her dr's concerns about skin cancer.
That will limit some activity choices.


My sister already announced to them that I will be sleeping until 12:00 noon. I told them that as well. I will see them in the afternoon when I wake up.

So they will be on their own in the mornings. I will be sleeping and won't care what they are up to.


The Marlins are playing the Phillies here at home, but hubby won't go.
Maybe I can look into concerts. They dragged us to one or two at their place.

This is good. I can put hubby on the hunt to find some DVDs. If we watch one, that is two hours of peace. Hey, I just remembered that my father likes movies like Mel Brooks, Groucho Brothers......Hubby would watch out of politeness and "let my father explain them to him."

I think that I am going to let hubby drive them to one or two places far away so that I can stay home and nap.
Napping is good.


Fishing, no. But something like that maybe. Your ideas are good.


I own about 10 pictures of the family. They are recent. Do most people have pictures of when they were younger?

He's going to want to talk about his work and how everyone else does everything wrong. I can't listen to this very long.

My mother will want to exercise three hours a day. She and hubby will play tennis and go to the gym together. My father walks for his exercise. Those sound like morning activities to me.

My father wants Hubby to cook dinner at least one night. That is probably a good idea since hubby finds cooking therapeutic sometimes. But it would stress me a bit.
My father wants to schedule time with me to talk about a new project. He has also requested that we take my mother to a specific beach for walking. They might have to do the walking without me, since I am out of shape.
Or maye I can get in shape in 6 weeks and use that as a good goal for myself anyway.

Thanks for the reminder. They are not going to change.
I would like them to not try to change me.

I guess I can go to my room with extra Klonopin when I feel the need. That will work.


Duct tape: Perfect.


Mari