The same cousin.

Kay,



It is good that you are connecting with family members.
I am guessing that they need to hear from you and much as you need to talk to them.


Can you schedule another meeting with the pdoc so that she can help you you monitor?
When do you see her again?

I hope that you got to do some ROM movements and stretching.

M

I did do some stretching yesterday. It made me feel better but not so much for the usual reasons. I know my 3 cats get very interested when I get on the floor, but I don't remember them being so bad lol. They were taking turns rubbing up against me, and Rocky kept head butting me and trying to rub up against my crotch lol. It did serve its purpose and relieved some stress even though it wasn't for quite and hour and I played with the cats more than I stretched. They're so weird :)

I decided that I needed to do more to pull myself out of this slump, so I decided to make a nice dinner last night. I pan seared chicken breast in olive oil, garlic, basil, and oregano and finished it in the oven. Once it was finished, I sauteed some pasta in the pan drippings, chicken stock, and more garlic. I wish I had some white wine, but I stopped buying it since I don't drink anymore. I didn't make a vegetable since my husband won't eat most of them and I had had a big salad for lunch. The meal went over well.

I stuck to my 1 week plan regarding following up on the driving class. I put a call in to organization #1 (the intake people) yesterday and explained my situation. The girl said that they should have received the information from the driving school by now, but she couldn't find anything about it in my paper file or in the computer. She said she would have a case manager check the special computer system the state uses (and has these organizations use) to track this info and call me back later in the day. No call back yet...

I did what I said I would do. If the the driving school hasn't contacted the intake people, I've identified an issue that needs to be addressed and I will do whatever is necessary on my end to rectify the problem. I don't want to fall between the cracks. Otherwise, I'll probably get my answer as to whether or not I'll have to undergo that substance abuse evaluation or get an idea as to when the DMV and court will be notified I finished the class. If I don't get a call back today, I'll call back tomorrow. I'm not feeling the same sense of urgency today because I have other things going on.

As far as the license goes, I need to worry in very small steps because the process is so long and frustrating. I don't need it burying me anymore. For instance, my only worries right now should be:
1. Is this case manager is going to call me back, or am I going to need to call the office back?
2. Did the driving school send the info to the intake people, or am I going to have to call the driving school to get them to send it? Or do something else?
3. Am I going to have to go to a substance abuse evaluation?

I should not be thinking about anything further down the road at this point... not even about what the substance abuse evaluation entails or what the consequences may be.

My next appointment with pdoc is in about 3 weeks. I will definitely call her if I feel like I need to. I'm well aware of how difficult, at least the highs, of my bp are to control. I have no desire to mess around with the other side of the coin. My appointment with the therapist is sooner, on the 25th. I haven't seen her in a long time.

I think right now I'm just overwhelmed and need to be proactive and continue making efforts such as the stretching, hanging out with my cats, making dinner, and as Mari said reaching out to family to start bringing myself out of this. I heard from my friend last night, and she's okay. That's helped to easy my anxiety.

Today is not going to be a particularly good day for me, but so far, I feel better than I did yesterday. I'll take it.

I am glad that you have cats to love and that you did
some group stretching:D
I am very glad that you are feeling better today.
your dinner sounds delicious!
((((HUGS))))
bizi
who must get going!

your kitty cats sound so wonderful...what a pleasure.
bobby

They are wonderful. They're my babies. :)

Kay,

Yes, that is what I am able to do when I am mostly in a good place.
Any more is too much.

Is dinner therapeutic for you sometimes?
I remember that cooking worked well for me when I was younger/ could focus.

M

Making dinner can be therapeutic depending on the day and how motivated and together I am. I had a lot going on yesterday, so it was hot dogs and cucumber sticks. Some days it can take me an hour to pull that meal off.

Today I'm making a pot of chili. I start it early, make it in steps, always tweak it, and tend to it often. I think it will therapeutic for me. My husband has to taste test a couple of times before I finish it off and he hates that, but he can't handle the level of heat I can. There's nothing worse than making a pot of chili and finding out he can't come close to finishing a bowl. I can tone it down, but that requires adding WAY more sugar than I want to use.

I'm back to sending texts to my aunt because it sounded so hectic when I called the other day. I haven't heard anything new- good or bad. I'm just sending my love and prayers.


On the license front:

True to my word, I called the intake people this morning. They did receive a consent form from the driving school, but no proof that I took the class?! The good news is that they will contact the driving school people directly.

The bad news and the only things I should be worrying about at the present:

1. They still haven't seen the notes from the driving school (if any will be provided) so I'm still not clear of the evaluation

2. I'm going to have to have my doctors fill out release forms again that will be sent via email, this time to attest to the fact that my medications should not affect my ability to drive if taken as prescribed. No problem, except actually getting to the doctors' offices to drop off and pick up the forms since I can't drive. I have to send them back via mail. More waiting.

3. They will be sending me more consent forms via mail that I will have to fill out and send back. More waiting.

I'm actually very happy about one of these consent forms because it will allow them to notify the Massachusetts DMV that I took the driving class. This can only increase my odds of avoiding another 1yr suspension in my home state. Although, I don't know how much weight it will hold.

The lady I spoke to seemed to really understand the sense of urgency in these matters. She said she would send the consent forms right out. She also said she would notify me of any issues (which I'm sure would include a possible substance abuse evaluation). But she said, "Good, you tested negative. So you will avoid the whole aftercare process, which is a whole other bag of worms." Maybe there is no threat of an evaluation at this point.

So I feel better, but worse. More bureaucratic BS and waiting. Of course my first instinct is to immediately call a cab and rush around to get the ball rolling, but I'm going to try to get my husband to take me to the doctors' offices to pick up and drop off these forms. He'll absolutely hate it, but the cab fare would be ridiculous.

I started out the morning feeling pretty good. Whatever I've been doing has been helping me feel less overwhelmed. I am more anxious after finding out the license process is getting even more involved, but I'm still holding my own right now :)

I will not be getting the medical release forms via email...
The intake lady sent me an email stating the PDFs were not cooperating with her so she sent them out by mail with the consent forms. I'm disappointed. I wanted to get that part over with.

do more cat stretching.....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi