I do have faith in Seroquel, but I'd feel better if I wasn't running out of drugs...

I can't say that my bipolar is drug-resistant, it's just that my body just can't tolerate the "good drugs." I can't take Depakote or Lithium. Maybe Zyprexa? Zyprexa may have caused akasthesia, or just been added during what I now know as agitated mania.

-----

I had to get my healthcare proxy in order because I was in no condition to make my own decisions following my s/s attempt. And decisions had to be made.

My husband and I were separated at the time. My father (bad news) was my emergency contact. And I had no healthcare proxy.

At least I left my marriage certificate, birth certificate, social security card, and license in a folder under the note. Someone at the hospital eventually let my husband take charge. But I guess it was a fight.
I don't want to put my husband and sister through that again.

As far as I know, my new healthcare proxy is valid until I sign a new one.

Over the last 8 months, I've become aware that my situation has the potential to be much more than a "bad patch". Frankly, I scared the $%!? out of myself. Even if I maintain sobriety, I may not be able to catch things early. And I know that overall, it's going to be a struggle.

So I raised my hand and asked for help.

I'm not sure how long those disclosure consents are valid. I'll have to look into that, but 6mo seems right. I don't know how much attention the docs would pay to the dates if the information was urgent though.

A year ago, NOBODY would have access to any of my psych records, not even my PCP.

Kay

Kay I still wonder why you stopped taking your meds before your s/s attempt?
ARe things ok with your hubby now?
glad that you are getting things in place.
hugs to you today.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

I was on !800mg Lithium, 400mg Lamictal, 200mg Topamax, (?) Klonopin a day at the time...

I was diagnosed as Type II at the time, but rapid cycling and heavily drinking for about 2yrs. My husband didn't mind the drinking (he's an armchair alcoholic), as long as I was doing it at home, but I wasn't. I'd stop by a bar for "one," and you know the rest of that story. He kicked me out, and I moved in with my BP alcoholic father.

I had already developed hypothyroidism, then went through "borderline" lithium toxicity while separated from my husband (and was immediately returned to 1800mg the same day as hospital d/c), but developing hyperparathyroidism from the Lithium was the last straw. It's reversible once you stop taking the offending med.

I stopped taking Lithium and made an appointment with pdoc. Unless you have an urgent need, you wait anywhere from 2-4 weeks to get in. During that time, I went through Lithium withdrawl and rapidly became full-blown manic. And that's when I decided I didn't need my meds.

I spent 4-5 months drunk and manic. At some point (or points) I became psychotic.

-----

My mental health/medical issues cause my husband a great deal of pain and stress. But he is an alcoholic and has had mental health and anger issues predating these issues.

I do my best to conceal what is going on, and try to limit my disclosures to "I don't feel well" or "I had to go to the doctor," etc. And I do say things like, "I feel better today." But he can't help but notice when I can't sit still. He did notice when I was paranoid. He knows I'm shielding him. And he knows that I've been going through a lot, but he's doing little to control his temper. I'm trying my best not to rock the boat.

He carries a lot of anger from the time when we were separated.

I'm concerned because he's been drinking at least a 12pk every night this week. And I've been doing a lot better mental health-wise than I was before. Watching him has actually diminished my desire to drink.

This is definitely an imperfect situation, but we're getting along. I want him to feel empowered- to have the resources in place if he feels like I'm starting to run off the rails. He has help out there now. At least I can give him that.

Kay

Trial and Error
 

Bless you, Kay! :hug:

You have been through a lot.

It's "normal" to want to go off meds when becoming manic, or even hypomanic. It's not the best decision, of course; yet, it's normal and it's what people feel like doing when they are starting to amp up.

Very sorry about the lithium toxicity. That had to be a bit scary.

The whole diagnostic process between BPI and BPII can be trial and error. Same with finding the meds you can tolerate and those which work for you.

I hope you and hubby can gain a mutual understanding, mutual forgiveness and have peace at home together.

You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

:hug:
DejaVu

hi kay, wow
you have been thru alot. how long did you have to stay with your dad?
That must have been hard on you.
How are you doing today?
bizi

Yesterday brought good news, as some of my neuro pain started to subside. It looks like the MS relapse is drawing to an end :) :) :)
And I took 100mg of Seroquel with my am pills because I was pretty revved up. I was a little tired after, but I felt like I was starting to reach my baseline... whatever that is... I don't know if I'd recognize it if it hit me over the head.

This morning I woke up at 9 (quite late for me) without any symptoms of hypomania! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

But I'm a little guarded because I'm on the pensive side this morning. So no prn Seroquel for me.
I'm waiting to see what the rest of the day, and following days, bring.

---

My husband and I were separated for 4-5mo.
I lived with my dad for all but 1mo. when he was in Florida. He's a BP alcoholic, and was manic the whole time, too. It was "interesting."

The separation from my husband was obviously the big trigger for me, and I went into decline even before I stopped Lithium. Add to that a VERY unhealthy environment, and you have a recipe for disaster.

I had sex with someone else while I was separated from my husband, he knows it. He considers it cheating. It's this that he can't get over more than anything else.

Kay

Crap...

I just had to take 50mg of Seroquel. I literally just started writing a book.

Oh, Wow, Kay.

I hope that your day improves.

M

I could only describe my reaction to today in words that are too explicit for this forum. Tomorrow marks 8 weeks of this. Not for any lack of trying.

I thought I was symptom-free this morning. But now my body and mind are all-in.

100mg is obviously not an "as needed" dose for me no matter how I think I feel when I wake up. And today it's not doing the trick. But the last time I took 150, I got lightheaded (but I was a cleaning machine at the time).

I posted yesterday that I don't mind toughing out hypo symptoms, and I meant it. But yesterday I wasn't writing a book.This is new...

It may be fairly innocuous, since this whole episode has been so changeable, but my biggest fear is escalation.

Pdoc is in the office tomorrow. I'm going to have to get in touch with her because the meds, as they are, are not controlling my symptoms.

I just don't know if this warrants a phone call or a face to face meeting?

Kay

i think face to face so she can see your body language.
bobby