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bizi 09-06-2015 12:13 AM

I made it 13 days AF. only thought about drinking a couple of times, tonight at whole foods when erika said hello, the bar tender there who noticed me shopping . Almost told her my challenge then kept it to myself. I went out with a girl friend whom we have been friends with ever since we moved to louisiana in 2001. wonderful friend.
WE spoke about me not drinking at he present. she told me that i mentioned to her on a couple of occasions that I was an alcoholic. I don't remember that. I told her that I am a binge drinker, that once I start I can seem to stop at one. but that when I decide to stop like this challenge it seems pretty easy, so how can I be an alcoholic?
bizi
dinner out with my friend we each had the seared tuna with white canolli beans and wilted spinach with a balsalmic reduction drizzle and shared an order of wonderful Mediterranean humus which was wonderful!!!

OhKay 09-06-2015 10:16 AM

It sounds like you had a great time with your friend. You may be eating healthy, but the meals you are eating make my mouth water.

Great job on 13 days AF! I know how hard that can be.

Kay

bizi 09-06-2015 03:33 PM

Thank you kay!
14 days sober and medication changes have sort of started me feeling better. I was unable to sleep until 330am then got up and took another klonipin anti anxiety med that I take to sleep. 1st one did not work so took the second one at 330am. then got to sleep and slept until 11am. hubby came to wake me up. I needed to sleep that much. He was hungry and wanted to go out to eat like we usually do. I had 3 eggs scrambled with spinach and a side of black bean salsa heated over my eggs and a side of brocolli. my usual sunday morning breakfast.

Drinking was an activity that we did together. Drinking is something I have in common with my husband. WE would go out for drinks and have fun. Now I can't do that. i am finding that my desire has returned to go to the gym and start training again for my 10 k coming up in november 14th. I had a thigh injury after my may memorial day 5 k run. so that put me back and I was so depressed about that...that is when I started drinking again...
I had not drank from jan to may then drank a week then had a dry june then july came and I started drinking until after my last vacation. My new day one is August 24th.
I lose weight when I don't drink, I sleep better, I should not drink because of the medications that I take. Two of them have warning labels. Both my psych doctor and my GP don't want me to drink...they judge me when I fail which doesn't make me feel good, shameful. I wish that I could drink in moderation. I can for a few days then that turns into more and more...then I get carried away...and have black outs.
heavy sigh.
hubby is taking a nap. He did not sleep well. I have been snoring these days and keeping him up...he doesn't like wearing ear plugs but that muffles out the noise. We were going to go to a play but missed it started at 2 and we thought it started at 3 so we will see that next weekend. I am going to clean my bathroom floor because it needs it really badly. Hair spray and dirt don't mix well.
Then I am going to go to the NAMI (national association of the mentally ill) support group meeting at 6 pm. It is a free support group that meets 2 times a month. I guess I need some outside support since I have been making these medication changes, following doctors orders to do such.
And I am not seeing a therapist because i can't afford one.
So between these forums and support group and a couple of friends to help keep an eye on me along with hubby. I think I will be fine. I think hubby and I are going to go to a park and go hiking even though it is hot an humid.

Bizi

Mari 09-07-2015 02:28 AM

Bizi,

Let us know how the NAMI even went.

M

bizi 09-07-2015 08:44 AM

The NAMI support group meeting was good.
We shared what was going on in the room each of us, there were 15 people there, I shared too long I feel and put the group behind. one guy there Was there court ordered...he verbalized he wanted to kill people, we were all shocked he was so open about it. He finally left when he did not find anyone who would support him or had anything in common with him. after he left we talked about him a bit.
There was a lady(stephanie) sitting next to me who was recently diagnosed and scared. And also a nurse and my age. We exchanged phone numbers and are going to have lunch. Wow, I might actually have a new friend!
So it was a great meeting.
bizi

mymorgy 09-07-2015 09:12 AM

that is great about the possibility of a new friend. i would have been so scared about that guy
bobby

OhKay 09-07-2015 01:16 PM

It sounds like a great meeting, aside from that man. I'm surprised that man shared... he may have benefited if placed in a different group.

It's hard to meet people you have things in common with, especially ones who can understand mh issues. I'm glad you found one :)

bizi 09-07-2015 08:26 PM

I joined a new meet up group. and the first meeting is tomorrow. We are going to walk in a park. So I thought that maybe stephanie(my new friend) might want to do this with me. So I called her and she agreed.
WE are going to meet at a grocery store near by and go together. WE meet at the park at 6;30.
ONe of the things she mentioned last night was how hard it was to meet new people so I thought this would be perfect. It will be a nice way for us to talk as well...get to know each other.
Jeff and I went to a state park today chicot park about an hour away from home. We hiked 5 miles about 2hours and 20 minutes. Sweat and it felt good to move.
I did not eat well today...popeyes 2 thighs with skin and muffin and red beans and rice and coleslaw for lunch.
I ate a stuffed baked potato for dinner at jasons deli. It was huge!!!!!chicken and cheese and sour cream and peppers. delicious with a ginger bread muffin and ice cream for desert.
Carb day today!
oh well I love carbs!!!!
I just don't eat them that often.
thank goodness.
bizi

OhKay 09-08-2015 07:55 AM

That all sounds wonderful, Bizi. Even the naughty things. I love Popeye's.

bizi 09-08-2015 09:17 AM

16th day AF, congratulations kay on your journey!
144.5 this am even after all of my carbs yesterday. I should cheat every now and then more often! :D
bizi


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