I will soon be divorced from my abusive husband and have been on my own now for over a year. One of the things that my husband did do was pay all the bills and keep me totally dependant on him for transportation and such. I realize that I am better off without the abuse but I just get so tired and weary of having everything to do now. Like since not having his insurance, court, and getting places when I cannot drive to or even trying to have some one with me during medically necessary procedures is wearing on my nerves. There is always calls to make that I didn't have before, bills to pay and to straighten out, being sick with no one to count on. I don't have children and my only 2 relatives in town could care less and cannot be depended upon. And the loneliness sometimes tears at my every being.

Just needed to rant. Thanks for listening.

befuddled2

I hear you Barbara.
When I drove past my old apt. last night I cried because I remembered how alone and lonely I felt during those years.
M.

I do understand, even in this busy mess, I to am very lonely. I will send you happy thoughts. Chin up, Rashelle

Dear Barbara,
I am sorry that you are feeling this lonely...you sound very sad.
You know there are chat rooms here...have you ever tried them out?
There are regular chatters in the evenings.
YOu have put up with so much you deserve to have happier days ahead.
((((HUGS))))
bizi
This is a chat room link for you...usually people in there in the late evenings as well. They have a moderated time every evening from 8 for a few hours. There are two sides a more social one and a support side.
http://www.bipolarworld.net/Community/webchat.html

I am so sorry you're feeling such stress of being on yor own, it's hard I know. It's really hard being on your own. I remember how it was when I was alone for almost a year, I had Jackie of course but it was different because he couldn't talk to me, and he still pretty much can't have a real conversation yet. I know how frustrating it is having to go to the store all the time and getting things dealt with like health care related stuff, like making appts and getting prescriptions from the pharmacy and so forth.

It's exhausting sometimes, I wish you well Barbara, I know it hurts right now, but it will get better with time. Just stick to your guns and maybe pick up a pen and paper when you're feeling bad so you can vent in poetry, your writing is a tool you can use to make yourself feel better, so don't feel bad for using it.

I hope you are feeling better today. Feeling lonely hurts. Hopefully this too shall pass, and you will find something or someone to fill the void.

Hang in there, thinking of you and sending happy thoughts!

Hugs, Nikko

I just wanted to cheer you on and encourage you for being so brave to make a change for a better life. Abuse is NEVER worth the exchange for anything.

If I may say this without sounding too preachy....if you have ever heard the story of the Israelites they were slaves in Egypt for 400 years. God sent Moses to come and deliver them and during their trip to the promised land there were times they "wanted to go back to Egypt." "At least we had food to eat," they would complain. They had forgotten all about their horrible life back there. But eventually they did make it to the promised land. Hang in there and my prayer for you is that God will show you the way as well.

Personally I have several good friends that I have prayed for. I live in a very small town and wasn't born here. Friends are hard to come by but twice I have asked and sure enough, my prayer was answered. (Just an idea) Don't give up though and lose hope, you are NEVER truly alone.

Ornate Design

Thank you all. And Ornate Design, you really did speak to me when talking about the enslaved Israelites. My Sunday school teacher was saying last week how important it is to know these things as they help us through life. Good lesson learned.

befuddled2