THis is for a new poster, who has posted in the alcohol forum. But she hasn't gotten much response there. And I remember something I believe I read in here once. About someone talking about either a relative or spouse, or family member.

Nikko, I don't believe it was just you talking about your mom, because I do realize that she has some of these issues. So I do know that you are one that can help this new poster, that I have told to come post in this forum
and ask questions.

But she needs some help with a family member. ANd hopefully will be
along soon. So if you should happen to have family member's that have
issues with alcohol, or have been to al-non meetings is that what they are
called please would you post here. To let her know that you are of knowledge
of this issue. And maybe even if you are willing a little about your issues.

This is someone I know from another forum who is a very nice person, who was bullied and hit very badly by some cyber bullies. So she is very protective of her issues. So if she is careful please realize that is why.

I've told her she is safe in here but it will take her time to realize just how
safe she is.

Donna

Here I am, filled with grim resolve.

I have a history of problems with booze and other substances myself. I stopped in time, before becoming a full-fledged alcoholic. Now I'm watching a family implode from within. It's bad, bad, bad!!

An intervention is the way to go. If the key player isn't on board, my only other option will be to talk to the police / child protection about exactly what has happened in that house. Yep, I'm going to use blackmail, if necessary. No matter what I do, there will be reverberations for years. If I do nothing, somebody is going to die. I'm not being dramatic; it really is that serious.

Older Sister

But as many of us in this forum, know the repricussions if you don't do
something and then someone dies. Is even worse. BEcause then its on
your conscience for life. And then you will be the one that has to forgive
yourself for not having taken this action.

And I know that no matter what the rest of the family thinks, that the
children in the family that the intervention you are thinking of will one
day thank you.

Reason I know this, is because I have a 25 year old son, that I almost
10 years ago, chose to call the police on. And then had to chose to
go to the court and tell a judge that I couldn't let him come home.
And they had to send him to a juvenile placement, then to a Court
appointed place to be assessed to see where they would send him
for treatment, it was after that he went to a boys school, that he got
treatment. But thanks to that treatment, that he promised me he would
never forgive me for. That he was put on the right medicine for the first
time in 10 years.

And now almost 10 years later, he has a 5 year old son, a full-time job,
finished high school, has a diploma, even passed what Indiana calles the
GQE the Graduation Qualifying Exam, and he even calls me and request
that I watch his son, instead of just demanding it. He even will say,
that going to the residential placement was the best thing for him at the
time. And he is a different person. I can honestly say, he loves me again.

I would have told you 10 years ago, that he wouldn't have. But that it would
have been worth it just to have a son out of jail.

So see there is a reason for intervention.

Donna

Dear Older Sister,

I have no specific advice or life experience.
I do wish you well on your path.
And I support you in your efforts to protect a child.


I have family members who are alcoholics or recovering alcoholics. A good number of people who abuse alcohol are also suffering from mental illness and will need mental health treatment after/ along with the treatment for alcoholism:

http://www.nmha.org/index.cfm?object...9D7BD2CD1CA1B9

Mari

NIH site:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/dualdiagnosis.html

My brother is a recovering alcoholic. He got so deep into his illness when his wife left him, I decided to put him in the hospital. He went dry, but relapsed and I had to ask him to leave my house and go live with our parents.

He is still dry.

And he still loves me.

I could not sit back and watch him kill himself. I would not be the one that let him go. I still won't and he knows it.

Do what you think is best and you will know you gave it everything you had. Just remember that you can't induce someone to change. They have to want it. I hope they respond to your concern and love.

My heart is with you and your family.

Hi Older Sister....I wanted you to know that I sent you a private message yesterday. I am thinking of you and your loved ones and praying for you as well. This is a wonderful site with amazing people on it. Come to it often and let us help you shoulder your burdens. It helps, it really does. These people really do care for each other. Take Care Dorrie

Dear Older sister,
You do sound like you have a plan and are resolved about this...which is good. This sounds so hard on you and your family. This will probably be the hardest thing to do and stick to your guns. I hope you have others in your life to help support you. Keep in touch and we are here to help if we can.
Just wanted to give you a hug for today...Do you know when /if the intervention will take place?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

thanks to all who have responded. Things are coming together....

Good to hear that things are coming together.

We are hear if you need a shoulder to cry on, vent or anything.

Just remember that.

Donna

Hi Older Sister - Welcome. I can relate with alcoholism. My dad died at the age of 48 from it. That was back in 1982. I did everything in my power to help him, but it was like banging my head up against the wall. It is a disease, yet they have to WANT to STOP and get help, that is first and foremost.

Intervention is great, but I also was involved in many of those with my Dad and Stepdad (whom died in 2004 from it). It seems they will go along with the Detox/Inpatient programs and then beg forgiveness and lie and say they will never drink again, even join AA. This can happen many many times. But, yet again it has to be their decision and they have to stick to it. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't, it depends on the person. Actually, they do sometimes stay with the program for awhile, but there are SLIPS where they drink and they are right back in the beginning. They also start to SNEAK drinking, but as we all know, we can tell and do know when they do.

Al-Anon is supposed to be a great support group for people living with alcoholics, I never went, ended up in therapy instead.

Removing yourself from the situation is sometimes the only way to keep your sanity. If possible.

It is in the genes, and a disease, so really watch yourself as far as drinking.

Please ask me any questions you want, I will help in any way I can. I can only imagine the hell you are going through.

I now have my 72 yr old mom living with me, after a stroke, seizures, heart attack, yet she continues to drink. I now can set ground rules and she isn't able to get alcohol, which is a savior. Although she can make my life one living hell when she decides she as she says needs a drink to sleep, they have every excuse in the world.

Lots of Hugs, Nikko