....FromSpikols blog:
from Terry, who, inspired by Jan T., has written his list of
"35 Things Not to Say to Someone Who Is Depressed":
Don’t let it eat you up.
You’ve got to get over it.
You’ve been down and out too long.
People are beginning to talk.
Don’t be an idiot things aren’t that bad.
If you just get out of bed and take a shower and get dressed you’ll feel a whole lot better.
It’s all in your head.
You’re a great guy you have all it takes so why throw it away.
Get better for the sake of the family if you can’t do it for yourself.
Think about your mother and how this must make her feel.
I’d like to but I just don’t get it.
What you need is tough love.
You don’t fool me with this depression crap you’re just lazy.
Wake up and smell the roses.
Everybody is worried about you.
Why is it always about you?
If you’d get over yourself and rejoin the human race you’d feel better.
Things can’t be all that bad?
You used to be such a nice guy.
You’re such a loser.
You set the bar too high; don’t be so hard on yourself.
It’s just SAD get yourself one of those lamps.
All you need is a girlfriend.
Are you still hung up on Cathy?
What’s got into you?
A couple of tokes and you’ll be fine.
I met this guy who was depressed….
Everybody is worried about you.
You should get out more.
I know exactly how you feel.
We all get a little depressed now and then it’s nothing to lose sleep over.
Let’s go out get something to eat have a few beers and see what happens.

Oh, so so true, and how I have heard so many of them.

Gread Thread, thanks......for sharing....we need to remember these things.

Nikko

THE FOUR WORST WORDS ...
To say to anyone in crisis or depression:
"JUST
GET
OVER
IT"
Just get over it? You have got to be kidding me!
Now, these four words could be said in a manner of kindness from those that do not know better. Those who love you. Those you live with. Lord forgive them; for they know not what they say!
But even with the best of intentions these four words cut deep -- deep into my soul, my heart, my confidence. Trauma of any kind is hard to process, to work through. It is an unexpected event that alters the course of your life. And we are supposed to "just get over it"?
Why? To make them feel better? Our friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors. Because if we get over it, that gives all of them assurance that nothing bad will ever come to them. It gets our problems off their minds. It's like somehow our dysfunctional recovery helps to create their denial.
Then there are the pity offerings. The phone calls, emails, cards. All with "Thinking of you," "In our prayers," "Call me if you need me" (which really means, Please leave me alone).
And then there are the ones who tell you, "I wish I could be there to help you. If only I had the time. If only I didn't have my kids, my job, my theater group." Whatever the excuse, they feel it gives them absolution. That by their superficial intentions, that they are off the hook. Please, I say, put your pity back in your pocket!
Funny, though: Sooner or later, traumatic experiences, crisis, even depression touch everyone in some way. Someday, somehow, somewhere to you or someone you love.
So please:
Don't take pity on me. Help me love me, be my friend, my spouse, my child.
Don't send false promises. Be real, be honest, be open.
Don't be angry with me. I am trying my best.
Don't ignore me. Ignoring doesn't gaurantee immunity.
Don't talk down to me. I'm fighting the fight of my life.
But worst of all, don't tell me, "just get over it," "this too shall pass," "there are some worse off," or my personal favorite: "jump back on that horse!" Because by doing that you invalidate me and you lie to yourself.
All I need -- all I really need -- is time, your love, a shoulder, a hug, a concerned ear to listen, and a soft place to fall.

I agree and even more so when someone has BP or some other mental disorder, besides just being depressed over something, not that, that is any lesser, just different.

I try to block the bad things people say to me, because I try to realize that they have NO CLUE as to what is going on in my mind. With the exception of a few, and of course all of you here on the forum.

Thanks again for sharing, Nikko

How about things that we should say?

I like:

Do you need to talk?
Would you just like to sit with me?
How about some chocolate?
You can make it. Take this as slow as you need to.
We've done this before, just stay with me and we'll make it through again.

Any one else have some good supportive thoughts?

True - I agree. More positive things to say and support and comfort.


Nikko

The most positive thing to say is

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