Bobby

I think you also can relate all the thinking of death to those who have
died in your life in the last year. Even to an extent the celebrities that
have died.

I think your pdoc would get that and help work with you.

Donna

that is a really good observation. i don't feel as badly. I still haven't mourned abby. tears come to my eyes but stop. I seem to block thinking what she looked like. It is way too painful. I hope i can mourn soon instead of denying it all.
bobby

I remember crying when my mother was sick, but couldn't cry after she passed away. Crying is a very rare occurrence for me now.

Sometimes I have a hard time remembering what my lost loved ones looked like, and it bothers me too, but most of them were lost many years ago.

The process of grieving is specific to every individual and to each loss. Denial is a step in the process and serves the important purpose of protecting us when we're vulnerable and aren't able to deal with our feelings (I'm a big fan of it). You may still be in denial over Abby's loss because you haven't worked through the loss of others yet and can't handle it

People can move in and out of denial as needed.

I think you will accept things when you are a little stronger and you have had a little more time to deal with everything that has happened over the last year